If you can look at all the horrid possibilities of life with such a clear gaze, maybe I can too? It's not as if my experience were so remote from you that it doesn't affect you at all. It can't be too remote, because you seem to understand it so well. And you're human too -- it happened to me, it could happen to anyone, you included. We are all aware of that, I think, and that's why we refuse so often to accept other people's experience, because when we do, we are faced with the possibility that it might happen to us. But by your understanding and acceptance you seem to accept the possibility that it might happen to you too, and you still face the prospect with unruffled calm. That holds out interesting prospects for me, but right now I'm awfully disappointed and I want immediate reassurance. I would like to touch you, to put my head on your shoulder and cry. Maybe you would put your arms around me and pat my shoulder and say, There, there, it's all right, don't cry; It would feel so comfortable, but at the same time I have the feeling that it would spoil something. Living without reasons and excuses is a challenge and very liberating! Action Step Your mission, should you care to accept it, is to live without reasons and excuses. Try it on for thirty days, repeating to yourself without reasons and excuses as you go about your days. Once you decide to abandon denial, your Rational Current will remind you whenever you step back into that energy, remind you that you have released that thought pattern, and assist you in facing your issue. Make your Rational Current feel happy and useful and team up with it in areas where it excels. Make no excuses and give no reasons for the increase in abundance you experience. When more money shows up or an item costs less, simply acknowledge the increase and feel grateful. IDENTIFYING AND FLOWING ON BY Your Rational Current can learn to identify the flow of your emotions and what is happening with your body sensations. It can remind you to experience your emotions through four or five deep abundant breaths and allow the wave of energy to subside.

Based on the initial question you submitted, I'll assume you'd like to anchor the excitement in your talk. Rule 1: Concentrate on obtaining the State first. A healthy condition always follows a good anchor. Anchoring is enjoyable, and each time one can learn something to improve. To practice the above skills, you do not need an audience. Try it the next time you're in a group, dinner, party. Or the work atmosphere. Silly as this may sound, you must first evoke anticipation to anchor the excitement. Yet all the time, the presenters make that mistake. If you have no state (meaning, in this case, a healthy state of confusion), you shouldn't even think about setting an anchor. It would make life easy and palatable, but I would lose something -- what, I do not know -- so precious, so much my best self, that I would forever after be hounded by a subtle feeling of loss and failure. If I didn't know already, if I hadn't at least partially accepted the fact that you aren't going to provide one with that commodity, I might fight for it, or work towards securing that, rather than towards the solution of problems which seem hopeless. And if I weren't wise to your tricks (! Or no -- that's right in a way, but I've got it wrong end to. That experience of freedom which I long to repeat wasn't achieved by petting, either actual or symbolized, nor has past experience of the usual expressions of sympathy given rise to it. Sympathy may have been restful and enabled me to go back into action with renewed vigor, but it's never been of direct help in solving my problems. For a while it has created the illusion that the environment, other people, are going to change so that I won't have to do anything. But that illusion disappears rapidly when I go into action again. In the long run, sympathy just hasn't worked and I'm forced to the conclusion that I've got to do something so that action won't be so difficult. When I come to you, there are two things in my mind: (1) I hope that I can act freely, but I haven't had much experience of it, so I'm not sure that I can.

When an innovative idea arises, it's your Rational Current that goes round and round with all the reasons why it won't work, while you feel various emotions, especially your wide range of fears. Yet you can turn your Rational Current around, engage its best characteristics, and assign it the task of keeping track of any and all new ideas. Opening new files and filling them with useful data delights your Rational Current. Elizabeth, a project manager, relayed to me her recent experience with Roger. No, that won't work! He then launched into a long list of reasons to support his position. She said, That's interesting, tell me more. And he did and ended with and I don't have the time to do it. Oh, John has already volunteered, she told him. Somehow Roger had assumed that he was the one appointed to the task rather than simply in on the informational loop. Anchoring is not a static activity. It is a dynamic dance between two or more individuals with an overt or covert intention to be able to trigger a particular response at a later time. So first step is to provoke a pure state of excitement from the audience (remembering that not all the audience will feel it at the same intensity -but you're looking for broad indicators that the group is in general). A lot of NLPer's and people anchor way of presentation, approach, and way before there is any real anchor state. You might have heard or seen this method of anchoring where the presenter walks to one side of the stage and tells him/herself, if I step over here, this is the place for my anchor of excitation. Step over there right now, and this is the place for my yeah collection anchor. Sadly, this may look through no fault of their own, and no deliberate anchoring occurs at the time. To prevent this trap, make sure you build up your audience's state of anticipation. To do so, use the best of your storytelling and elicitation skills. So the take away is: the anchor is followed by power.

I still have a lingering hope that you will do something so that action will become easy for me, and that inclines me further towards passivity. Since this problem isn't solving itself easily, my doubt of my own ability is very prominent, and if you were to give me sympathy at this point, you would confirm my worst suspicions. But you don't confirm my doubts; I'm not grateful for it, I don't experience it as a bell ringing, but in a dim way it enables me to carry on on my own. But I still cling to the interesting possibility of more personal contact with you -- I'm not sure enough of myself yet, and that's my ace in the hole. I know enough about therapy to know how far I'll get with that one, but even so I can't quite put the idea out of my mind. It's nice to feel free to express myself, it's interesting to discover that there's more to express than I had suspected, and there's a dim satisfaction in plodding on in the face of obstacles; If necessary, that can serve the double purpose of defending my weakness and destroying your seeming independence. Two points in this excerpt call for comment. Here is an instance of those attitudes which in other therapies might well be the beginning of a positive transference. It turns out that he was already carrying a fairly heavy load, feeling overwhelmed, and afraid that he was being asked to do more. His Rational Current had no trouble taking over, providing plenty of reasons why the project was a bad idea. I just wanted you to know the process, Elizabeth told him, and to hear any ideas you had that would improve it. Oh, Roger replied. It took him a while to respond to her real request for advice and wisdom. Left to its own devices, the Rational Current will focus on the reasons why something should not happen. It can overpower and stop the other currents, damming them until they're just a trickle or they dry up completely. It shows up in responses such as Don't bother me, I'm busy doing something much more important, sending the Emotional, Body Sensations, and Creative currents far underground. Yet in Elizabeth's case, a little insight into Roger's emotions enabled her to open up the flow of ideas again. The Language of the Ws

Rule 2: Get out of your mind and be up-time Someone tried to juggle two balls while they were having a serious conversation? If you know, it's not long before you both drop balls and forget what you've been thinking about. You know when the moment is right you anchor; If you're delivering information that you don't know well, trying to remember doing that, staying on track with your content, and at the same time eliciting a state and anchor, chances are you're going to do a poor job. The emphasis is also defined internally as being in downtime. Not the place to be when you show up to a crowd. The conscious mind, as we know from cognitive psychology, can handle only 7+ or -two things. So if you're trying to read the crowd, present, figure out what's coming next, etc. You're going to find it challenging to do your community anchoring skills. Other clients experience the relationship in a somewhat different fashion, as will be evident in the following article (article 4, articles 167-171). The other point is the way in which she seems to confirm to some extent the theory of the therapist's role which was offered earlier. To see another person, the therapist, accepting experience rather than rejecting it, particularly when it seems that it could have happened to him, makes it easier to accept the experience oneself. Written after the Third Interview When I came to our interview today, I wasn't anything like as nervous as I was on the previous occasion. There was a certain submerged excitement, but not the stage fright. I'm not so scared or concerned about your opinion any more. It certainly hasn't been in evidence, and under those circumstances, solving the mystery of my own peculiar behavior emerges as a more and more interesting and challenging occupation. At the very least, I've got to fill in the time somehow, haven't I? If I can't occupy myself in dealing with your opinions about my problem, the only thing for it is to root around and see if I can discover what my problem is.