Date Tags advice

If each one of us were to awaken to our own magical, self-healing potential and come to know simple, true comfort and happiness from within, we would be able to step aside from the constant seeking of bliss and into the lived experience of it. What if we weren't anxious and depressed but rather world-weary as a natural response to modern life? What if to regain our sparkles we were to simply heed the calls of our spirits, courageously taking small steps to begin to live more magical lives? What if we were to have faith in our own capacity to restore, soothe and balance ourselves? Would we still feel the need to consult others about what might be `wrong' with us and seek to be fixed? Fear paralyzes you by diminishing your expectations. Never forget that diminished expectations are like a sword to the heart because they kill your motivation, creativity, and spirit. Fear stops you dead in your tracks. Think about it. When you pay attention, you can usually identify people who have low expectations when you hear them speak; listen for hesitation, uncertainty, and poor self-esteem. On the flip side, listen to people with positive expectations. There is a special radiance around them, a glow that comes from having high expectations. They are confident in themselves, and this puts other people at ease. Positive or negative expectations convey a nonverbal message to others, and so how we channel our positive expectations becomes essential in everyday life and increases the likelihood of their coming to fruition. Thinking is difficult. I never knew how to stop. It's easy to stay inside your head for hours, especially when you're in bed at night. But I can confidently say that 99% of all my thoughts in the past have been useless. I didn't do anything with my thoughts most of the time. I didn't solve a problem.

Nor did I try to understand difficult ideas or concepts from books. I spent a lot of time in my head doing this: Those type of thoughts are not helping us. But we all have them. So how do you get rid of them? Well, I've learned that you can't get rid of them. Remember? We can't control our consciousness. We can only control what thoughts we follow through on. You only have to be aware of your thoughts. Acknowledge them. But never blame yourself or say, "Why do I have these thoughts?" No one has the answer to that. It's better to be aware of your thoughts and decide what you will ignore, and what you will give importance to. For example, the thought of quitting whatever I'm doing in my life has been on my mind as long as I remember. When I was in high school, I wanted to quit and just find a job. When I played basketball, I wanted to quit, and later did quit. I can go on and on until I reach the present. No matter how much I love what I do, the thought of quitting and just walking away shows up in my mind at least three or four times a month. In the past, those thoughts cost me many nights of sleep. Choose three new behaviors to risk that will free up some of your time. Make decisions about what you want to do, not what you need or have to do.

You might decide, I'm going to give up being president of the board of the local food bank. Or, I'm not going to volunteer for the school holiday party, even if I have to sit on my hands. (Remember Laura?) Or, I will say no when I'm asked if I have time to spearhead the campaign. Learning what to do with all that extra time can be exhilarating and incredibly freeing. But you may have to remember or learn for the first time what it's like to relax and enjoy free time. Again, pick the one that would be easiest and go do it. Afterward, write out your results! The lesson here is to learn to stop discounting what hurt you in the past and what may be hurting you in the present. The goal is to label trauma, abuse, or neglect for what it was (or is still), while you increase your skills in knowing what to do with pain. For years, you've avoided it. Now it's time to trudge through it with self-compassion rather than shame. Yes, this means sitting with feelings that are uncomfortable or unfamiliar. But I also invite you to think of other specific things that you can do to get closer to the pain you've had in your life, rather than pushing it away. It takes practice, but you can do it. One external event, two very different outcomes. Those hugely different internal reactions create the possibility of two resulting impacts on There's another concern we need to address right away. You may be thinking, Hey, I just don't think that much about myself. Maybe I'm just not that smart. I just don't think that all of this mental activity is going on within me. Wrong!

I guarantee you all of this mental activity is going on within you, but some of it (not your internal dialogue, which happens in real time) may be happening so fast, so repetitively, and be so well-rehearsed and overlearned that it is virtually automatic. When you have been over and over a process many, many times, you no longer consciously break it down into steps or thoughts. Think about driving your car, for example. You don't have to think about what to do. You don't even have to look or think about putting in the key. There are muscle memories and habits that are so ingrained that you do it automatically. The same is true with your thoughts. You can go through labels, tapes, and fixed or limiting beliefs at incredible speed. You can think through a series of self-observations and judgments faster than you can blink an eye. It can happen so fast that you may not even be aware that you are doing it. The truth is that we naturally possess healing wisdom and power within us - pure instinct; deep intuition. In the wise and poignant words of Alsatian theologian Albert Schweitzer, The doctor of the future will be oneself. Every patient carries his or her own doctor inside . If we quieten down and listen in, we always know the answers. In the instances in which external support or intervention are genuinely warranted, we will most certainly know to seek help. Otherwise, it is the loving, tender and unconditionally respectful relationship we nurture with ourselves that heals and fortifies us for life, and which is free and available to us, moment to moment. When we consider nurturing our tremendous self-healing and self-sustaining powers, it is helpful to see our inner sparkle as our life force. All thoughts and acts born from fear deplete our life force, dull our sparkle, estrange us from one another and thieve our energy. When we are judgemental, hurried, fearful and worried we deplete our life force. When we eat mindlessly or dishonour our minds and bodies with carelessness and unkindness, our lights dwindle.

In contrast, thoughts and acts born from love strengthen our life force, nourish our sparkle, bring us healing and expand our energy. Rest, self-care and self-compassion grow our inner strength and self-worth, leading to positive thoughts and choices, and gentler and easier living. The more confident and peaceful we feel, the more we sparkle. Rumi suggested that if we want to feel more alive, love is our truest health. Faith is of the utmost importance when seeking to understand expectations and how they will shape you. In order to harness expectations to create desired results in life, you must first look at the law of expectations. Simply put, The Law of Expectations holds that: you get what you expect out of life. You tend to see what you expect to see, you tend to feel what you expect to feel, you tend to act the way you expect to act, and eventually, you tend to achieve what you expect to achieve. Your expectations influence your happiness, and they impact your health. Indeed, your expectations even affect your relationships. Expectations have huge implications for your life; to approach them with fear undermines your vitality. When you approach your goals and life with doubt, hesitation, and inaction, then you sow the seeds of failure. Fear is the opposite of faith. It is the most destructive emotion because it undermines man's greatest gifts: freewill, creativity, and hope. Governments, religions, parents, teachers, and anyone who wants to control other people use fear. Salespeople use the fear of loss to invoke buyers to make a purchase. Teachers use grades as a system to control students and their parents. Why do you think they use it? To prevent outcomes they don't want! If you want to have useful thoughts, here's a rule of thumb: Only think about things you can control.