My grandfather was a true physician, not only because of his knowledge or clinical acumen, but also because he tended to his patients where they lived and worked. He made house calls, even in the middle of the night, for treatments ranging from minor surgery to counseling--he was always ready with a warm smile or a hand to hold. He helped those in need, those without any money, those who were scared about pain and illness. In his rural community in India, he was a hero and was beloved . Visiting patients in the home is not practical, but it does offer advantages. It provides the ability to see people holistically, in their life roles, and identify the stressors they encounter every day. It gives insights into their struggles with socioeconomic class, family dynamics, and living conditions. My grandfather was able to identify the root cause of an ailment with much more ease since he knew, really knew, his patients. Two guys dancing in front of people eating food with no regard for what people think of you? Or, am I just thinking too much about this night in Denton? We might as well ask, what does acting `foolish' even mean? Foolish - having or showing a lack of good sense, judgment, or discretion. You may not find my story to be a very foolish one, because it's just for one night. Everyone has nights where they disregard the social norms and go a little too far in their behavior. Were we showing a lack of good sense or judgement in Denton? One night where we drank a decent amount and danced a lot doesn't sound bad. But, what do you commonly associate with foolish behavior? Some areas I think of include being a belligerent drunk, getting into fights with people, driving with reckless abandon on the road, acting blatantly disrespectful in an incomedic manner or being loud and obnoxious when you're obviously not reading the room. As you do that, your relationship has the opportunity to be one of choice rather than a relationship of script, repetition, or traumatic bonding. In this process you both learn how to develop empathy and compassion toward self and others.

You learn how to develop healthy boundaries, greater emotional literacy, and the ability to handle your feelings without the need to engage in self-defeating behaviors. Whether or not you have a lifelong commitment or are attracting the same man over and over, recognizing your pattern of how you choose a partner and contribute to the dance is critical to your ability to make healthy relationship decisions for yourself. Reflective Thoughts and Questions Women learn about their partners' sexual acting out in a variety of ways. Perhaps you heard about your partner's behavior from a coworker, a friend, a neighbor, or a family member. It's possible someone told you inadvertently and didn't even realize what they said. Or perhaps the person knew full well what he or she was saying and did it out of respect for you. It could be that someone shared the information out of vindictiveness. He made a difference in their quality of life. Ever since I can remember, I wanted to do exactly that. I wanted to help guide people to thrive. I wanted to bring some comfort back into their lives. I went to medical school yearning for knowledge and eager for experience in treating illness. I pursued positions in which I would work with those who were dedicated, knowledgeable, and devoted to their patients. My residency was in a tertiary care (specialized treatment) medical center where I saw a wide variety of ailments and worked alongside great and caring physicians who were leaders in their fields. I finished my residency empowered with the feeling that I now possessed the knowledge to follow in the path of my grandfather. However, starting in private practice in New York, I was overwhelmed when I realized how little we as physicians could do to actually heal. Sure, we could diagnose illness and treat symptoms, but what about addressing the cause of the problem? The real difference comes when we create close companionships with people who are constantly acting foolish. Guys and girls who are always acting like knuckleheads.

People who are running on reckless abandon, who blatantly disobey laws and who never seem to act civilized. People who dramatically react to everything in life. People who will happily live it up every weekend, knowing they despise their job or where they live. The consistency of their reckless behavior indicates that they are committed to acting a fool. It's the friend or relative you know that never seems to figure it out. They are always getting fired from jobs, getting in trouble with people, damaging something and massively forgetting obligations. They always ask people for favors because they're just in a tight spot. You help them the first time and the second time. You may have read about your partner's activities in the newspaper or saw him on television. Perhaps the police came to your door to take him away. His angry lover may have called and left a message or emailed you a letter and/or pictures. It is possible you happened upon your partner with his lover. You may have inadvertently found internet sex sites he articlemarked on the computer. Maybe he went to a treatment program for his addiction to gambling or drugs or alcohol and you suddenly found yourself sitting in a counselor's office, surprised to be learning about his sexual acting out. It's possible your child told you about something he or she saw. Sometimes women visit their doctor and learn they have a sexually transmitted disease. This news, whatever the setting or form of delivery, can be a bombshell. It can also be nothing more than a validation of what you've been suspecting. Why put someone on a vigilance drug for daytime sleepiness when we should be looking for a solution to their sleep issues? We did extensive workups on many patients who had concerning symptoms, only to find everything was normal.

So, is it normal to have achiness all over? Is it normal to not have a bowel movement for five days? A city that takes pride in never sleeping provides an environment rich with stress-related symptoms, such as insomnia, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), migraines, palpitations, and many more. Why is weight gain such a big problem? Where is the joy and vitality in everyone? There was not enough time to counsel or delve deep into sources of stress, which I felt was the root of 75 to 80 percent of what I see in internal medicine. What happened to bringing comfort back into our patients' lives? After all of my study and hard work and aspirations to help people, all I had in my toolbox were bandages. But the third or fourth. Come on man, get your act together! Yeah, those are fools. In article 3, we broke down the importance of trusting in yourself and your own capabilities so that we, as a society, can foster stronger trust in each other. In article 4, we have our own battles and worlds to improve upon, which is just as noble as saving a nation from starvation. In article 5, we saw that those who consistently dig deep and get obsessed about their goals, go above and beyond what they could have imagined. All of these articles, so far, deal with internal problems. Don't be fooled by the title of this article. Just because we're discussing the quality of our environment, doesn't mean that we can start blaming others for our shortcomings. Remember the quote, Show me your friends and I'll show you your future? The first time I learned he was acting out I had gone to his office after work with our baby in my arms just to see him. I had no idea I would find him in a compromised position with someone at work.

I was numb. They laughed at me. I stayed with him several more years and had two more kids. He would never admit openly to what he was doing but I found the evidence: the hotel slips, the letters. My husband had been in some intensive psychotherapy, and after one of his therapy retreats he came home an emotional mess and disclosed he was a sex addict. He told me it was a one-time ongoing affair with someone out of state. He told me it was over, and that was all that was said. Well, I had a history of sex abuse as a child and to use the word sex addict was so scary. I wrote prescriptions and briefly discussed exercise and diet. I was a fireman, putting out fires that had already started and doing nothing to prevent future fires from igniting. It was at this point that I decided to train in acupuncture, so I could offer more wellness tools to my patients. I learned about the concept of energy movement and began looking at the root cause of illness. Using acupuncture in my practice gave me a new paradigm shift. It was not only a tool for common symptoms such as back pain, migraines, acid reflux, and many other everyday illnesses I was treating, but I also heard from patients that they felt more energetic, they slept better, and their mood improved. As I learned about creating balance, I felt empowered once again. I could teach my patients about elementary prevention, which is keeping systems in balance so illness doesn't have a chance to strike. I was finally on the path to integrative, functional medicine. No longer do we have to feel that we are destined by our genes. Which friends, family members and loved ones do you choose to allow in your life? Let's remind ourselves of the Proverb: Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.