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The baby picks up on this disconnection and learns not to expect too much from the mother in terms of emotional connectedness. She may even begin to mirror the mother's behavior. As an adult, however, she is likely to continue to search for that connection with a mother figure. At some level, she understands that something is missing in her relationships. Bowlby and Ainsworth Throughout adult life the availability of a responsive attachment figure remains the source of a person's feeling secure. Attachment theory, developed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, is especially important to a discussion of DID. Simply put, attachment theory is concerned with the relationship that occurs between children and their primary caregivers. The importance of attachment is that it creates an environment in which a child can begin to explore safely, knowing that the caregiver will remain constant. This relationship is referred to as a secure base. You don't want to be with you! You have no self-worth. You describe yourself the way he saw you. Who are you? Do you even know? Still trapped in her negative affirmations, Vanessa vowed that she would make Ron miss her, and she knew what she needed to do. She still had a key to his house and knew that Wednesday was always his busiest day in the office. When he was seeing his first patient of the day, she went to his house and let herself in. She remembered he had complained of the cold the first night after the water bed had been refilled, so she began to drain it. For the next few hours, she sat by the bed, watching the water empty, thinking how alone and cold he would feel that night and then he would want her back.

In such cases, consult a natural medicine practitioner or physician if you wish to apply these crystals. Chrysoprase Chrysoprase belongs to the chalcedony family. It therefore improves the flow of the bodily fluids, especially lymph, and encourages the elimination of waste products. Through its inclusion of nickel, which also gives it its apple-green coloring, chrysoprase has a strong detoxifying effect. It can even stimulate the elimination of heavy metals and other substances that do not dissolve easily. This crystal is also excellent for supporting the liver. Chrysoprase helps us to deal with illnesses that are due to poisoning, and it is also useful against allergies, skin disease, and rheumatism. On a mental and spiritual level, chrysoprase has a cleansing and dissolving effect. It helps us to work through stressful experiences, to overcome any negative feelings, and to free ourselves from unhelpful thoughts, directing our attention toward a positive outcome. The whole trip back home to Tennessee, sitting in the back seat of my parents' old Subaru, I stared out the window like I always had. Previous trips were spent practically banging my head against that window out of boredom, asking my parents, Are we there yet? I had spent those trips daydreaming in an effort to escape the small-town life I'd been living. But this time the visions were different. It was as if all the other trips on that same route were through a completely different landscape. I was no longer daydreaming about running away from something. I'd found a dream that felt worthy of pursuit, and wonder had gifted me with the belief that the dream might be possible. I had all sorts of visions of stardom, most of which were variations of gracing stages, receiving applause, and getting rich and famous traveling the world as a magician. In the short time that followed, I mastered all the tricks in that first magic kit my grandmother had given me for Christmas. The next year, a magician showed up in my town and performed tricks for the kids at the church my parents dragged me to each Sunday.

Whether it's fear, obesity, poverty, timidity, or a lack of ambition, discipline provides the path to freedom. Free time should be scheduled and abundant. Yes, as an ambitious human you're going to work a lot, but working a lot and getting a lot done don't always align. Discipline enables you to get a lot done in less time. This allows you to have more fun and to explore more during your week. I've been busy, and I've been efficient. They don't go hand in hand. Being busy is a state that our society praises, but it's efficiency that gets us the results we need. Discipline allows you to stop being busy and ensures that you get more done more quickly. At first, you'll feel a little guilty with all of the free time you have to do the things you love, including spending quality time with loved ones. Is It Attractive, Safe, or Dangerous? What humans communicate with pheromones is a bit different from the information that other species exchange. Ants, for example, use pheromones to communicate intricate things like what job to do. We humans, on the other hand, create and send pheromone messages primarily related to whether a situation is safe or dangerous or whether love is in the air. Your body receives signals about whether someone near you is attractive, or safe, or dangerous. At the same time, you are sending signals to others about whether you are happy, safe, attracted, fearful, or anxious. Each of you then has signals about whether to approach the other or to steer clear because there might be danger. When I was in the soccer stadium with thousands of eager, cheering fans, I could feel the excitement and happiness. Our team won that day, and the pheromone molecules being shared remained happy and cheerful as we filtered out of the complex. Had the home team lost, no doubt the feeling molecules shared among us would have been less happy and exciting.

Slumping, leaning posture, clenched fists or jaws, drop eye contact, rolled-up eyes and turning away are some common gestures indicating the advent of an emotional outburst. If you observe frustration or anger in the listener's mind, maintain a calm attitude, moderate level of voice tone and ask questions to identify the actual cause of frustration so that you can resolve it amicably. Commonly, an introvert is a person who is quiet and feels energized when he or she spends time alone. On the contrary, extroverts are joyful and happy to meet people. They are loud and feel energised when they meet new people. Introverts are generally creative, and it is believed that a person enters into a creative mindset in loneliness. You must have noticed that most of the great poets and authors have led a solitary life. While extroverts attract the attention of other people because they have their own charm and charisma. They are good practitioners of persuasion. Extroverts love to be surrounded by people. Although I have stated the questions in the terms of the sick person, these are also the concerns of the family. When practitioners engage patients' views of illness, they, too, must respond to these concerns. These questions are not asked simply to obtain information. They are deeply felt. The facial expression, tone of voice, posture, body movements, gait, and, especially, the eyes expose the emotional turmoil that is so much a part of the long-term experience of chronic illness. The manner in which difficult sentiments--anger, despair, guilt, worry--are expressed and dealt with also reveals how the sick person and the family are handling the illness. For affective turbulence is not so much a reaction to the chronic problem as an expectable part of being chronically ill. Such turbulence, furthermore, is an expression of a physiological dialectic that can produce or result from major alterations in the illness. Change in chronic illness is almost never inconsequential. The chronically ill live at the margins.

Don't question the answers that come up. By bringing gentle focus to the area, either a lot or just a little information may arise. It is okay if none or only some of your questions get answered. If you find that there is emptiness there, you will similarly sit with the emptiness, and see, sense, or understand it the best you can by simply sitting with it with gentle focus. It may look like a black hole, or nothingness filled with gray, and you may not be able to connect to it at all at this point. If we were to return to the big toe example, you may look down at your big toe and realize that you can sense the bottom of your big toe, and not the knuckle or toenail of that toe. We are now going to communicate directly to the body part: First introduce yourself. This may seem silly, but saying a quick, internal hello can really start this work in a helpful way. Then ask if you can ask some questions. The example of the mother picking up her crying infant while in a dissociated state herself illustrates how healthy attachment can be thwarted. Attachment develops in infancy as caregivers interact with a child by providing consistent nurturing responses to the child's behavior. Although attachment is biologically based, it does not develop in a healthy and secure manner without that nurturing environment. As Robert Karen has written, Researchers now know that `secure attachment' between infant and mother (or other primary caregiver) is critical to a child's psychological development. In DID, the development of attachment is typically hindered due to abuse, neglect, or inconsistent responses from primary caregivers. As a result, these children learn not to expect consistent nurturing from others. An important component of DID therapy is to address the developmental deficits and attachment issues that were created in childhood. The basis for that work is the relationship the DID client has with the therapist. DEVELOPMENTAL DEFICITS Attachment issues are what lie at the core of developmental stages.