Date Tags help

I've attended meetings where I've been bored witless and left not really grasping what the meeting was even about. The good meetings were always few and far between. Remember, going about pleasing people will only fulfill their goals, without any consideration for you. Even if you genuinely care about helping others, it is still vital that you maintain enough care and consideration for yourself that you feel content, energetic, and functional. Think of it like an emergency on an airplane; Whereas if you try to help others without consideration for yourself, you risk exhaustion, as well as a sharp decline in the quality of your help. Final Thoughts on Compulsory Standards and Non-Negotiables For some, setting Compulsory Standards is easy once we list out what we want and don't want. However, some may be struggling to separate the Compulsory Standards from the ones that are still firm, yet bendable. To successfully separate the two, specifically examine your principles, and determine which values are absolutely core to you, or essential to your way of life. As an easy comparison, setting aside me-time to play a game or write in your journal might be a standard you take on due to its benefits. However, setting aside time to eat, wash and hydrate is infinitely more important. I know it sounds like a lot at first, I said, but that's because this is the first time you're hearing it. The process is actually pretty simple. Step 1: see yourself in your future. Step 2: find the future forces that will help you to get there, including people, tools, and experts. Step 3: work backward to determine the process needed to build the future. Easy for you to say, Maddox balked. You're the futurist. Don't worry.

We'll get you thinking like a futurist in no time, I said. With the backcast, it starts by plotting the specific things you need to do to get yourself halfway to your future. Some people love meetings and have meetings about meetings, but I'm definitely not one of them. I live in the more remote Southwest of England, and working with people who reside in London is always a funny one for me. There's still an assumption that I'll pop over to London for an hour-long meeting at the drop of a hat. In reality, it takes me four hours of travel, both ways, for that one-hour meeting--that's a significant time cost without factoring in the monetary cost and the parental sacrifice that comes with not being there to do my usual parenting stuff, which I love being around to do. And that's on a good day, when the meeting falls smack-bang in the middle of the day, and I can get there and back on the same day. We're not even factoring in train delays here. Nowadays, my calendar is relatively meeting-free. It feels liberating: I'm more productive, less tired, and yet I still get to work with incredible London-based people and organizations. When addressing a problem with someone or when a situation arises where I need to assert myself, I still get sweaty palms, a racing heart, and an overwhelming urge to run away and hide or procrastinate, or, worst of all, fall in line. I now know how to overcome those nerves and tend to address situations head on, and it works out better for all involved, and I welcome it the other way, too. Here, eating, hydrating and staying clean would be the non-negotiable standards, and would be what wins out if you had to choose between that or me-time. Likewise, for a medical school student, doodling regularly would be a standard, but would be balanced against the relatively non-negotiable standard of earning their doctorate. This is why the med student will only doodle 30 minutes in a day, rather than all day before switching to a Fine Art degree. Their goals and values in life have already set earning their doctorate as non-negotiable, and all else begins to revolve around that as a result. What would you want your ideal life to revolve around? The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more you will have to express gratitude for. Let us be frank. Self-development is not a quick process, and at times it can feel like hard work to make the strides we want in life.

Even if you're having fun doing it, it's still time and energy that you're investing. For this reason, it can be good to sit back and reflect on what you've achieved so far through a lens of gratitude. With buying a house, that might mean saving up a certain amount of money for the down payment. Once you understand what it means to be 50 percent of the way there, then you halve that again, to get you partway to your goal. In your case, this might be something like finding the neighborhood, identifying a few properties of interest, or establishing a relationship with a banker or mortgage broker. Makes sense. Maddox nodded. Once that's all done, you determine what you need to do Monday, to officially start the process. Maddox let out a big bellowing laugh. You make it sound all so easy, he said. But the truth is, it does sound doable! Now that I actually know what to do. I'd preferably have sawn off my arm with my teeth than have to assert myself and/or confront someone. It means that I've accepted some pretty unacceptable behavior in the past, I've shut up for much longer than has been healthy and buried the anger, resentment, and self-esteem-battering that comes with doing that. It seems that brushing things under the carpet doesn't make them go away; At the age of twenty, I had my four wisdom teeth removed under general anesthetic and, as advised by the hospital, I articleed a week's sick leave from my job at an accounting firm. The operation went off without a hitch, but the stitched holes in my mouth were painful and the anesthetic knocked me off my feet for days. When I returned to work, I was called into the office of one of the partners, who wanted to discuss my recent absence. I explained that I'd had an operation to have my wisdom teeth removed and he told me that taking a week of sick leave was unacceptable as, and I quote, he had returned to work the same day after having his removed. As someone who has recently articleed a week off work for another upcoming operation, I understand that the unacceptable-ness in this situation wasn't coming from me but from his expectations that I should be like him and return to work, regardless of the fact that one isn't allowed to drive the same day you have a general anesthetic.

But this reprimand left its mark for a long time--it told me that work was more important than my health, and I believed it, to my detriment. It taught me that I had to show up to work as quickly as possible, no matter the circumstances, and without it affecting my performance in any way. The Role of Gratitude in Combating Depression When you're feeling down, simply looking back at what you've accomplished so far can be enough to boost your self-esteem. However, there's a level of technique involved to ensure you're looking back not with pride, which can be clingy and overly ego-centric, but rather with gratitude, which encourages you to be more aware of what is going well, as well as where you can find strength and support. The practice of gratitude is, in one way, the opposite of a vicious circle. While a vicious circle is a mutual and continuous cycle of aggravating cause-and-effect, gratitude is a cycle that not only gives positivity out into the world, but encourages its receipt too. It has been scientifically found that the practice of gratitude naturally shifts our thoughts into a more constructive perspective, and that it resultantly causes our brains to release large quantities of hormones such as dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin (Serani, 2012). When naturally produced by the body, these three hormones are vital for a well-adjusted and functioning being. Without them, we would struggle to recognize satisfaction, contentment, or meaningful accomplishment. Gratitude, then, starts a chain where we give ourselves a moment to recognize these gifts, no matter how big or small the form they take, and then we receive the improved hormone balance needed to sustain this worldview. But the chain reaches farther than that. That's awesome! I said, raising a glass to toast his future. I want to hear how it's going in a few weeks. The Family That Futurecasts Together . I hate grass, Maddox said suddenly, after a long, contemplative silence. What's that? I wasn't quite sure I'd heard him correctly. We were sitting on the small balcony of his apartment in Boston.

It was about eight months since we'd had our chat along the harbor, and the air was unseasonably warm. I was in town for a few days, and Maddox had insisted I come over for a Sunday barbecue. It showed me that business could be cold and uncompromising. That's the trouble with always respecting your elders and accepting everything that they say; I used to be the person who would smile at the hairdresser as they hovered the mirror behind my head to show off my new style and then promptly burst into tears once I was safely outside, out of view. For some reason, my brown hair takes on any warm tones in dye, and it goes orange. Not auburn, orange. I've had a Geri Halliwell do when I've been seeking a Gisele vibe, even when I'd patiently explained the warm-tones thing. There have been orange all-overs, which I've tried to rectify at home, ending up with a patchy, stripy mess. I'd never speak up; I'd pay and even leave a tip for the privilege of hating my hair. My gut sometimes barks at me, and I've learned to trust what it's telling me. Most of us, including me (and most likely you) like to feel validated in some way. Part of the meaning in life-authorship is the satisfaction of knowing that what we do has a meaningful impact on those we care about. When was the last time a friend thanked you for something you did? How did it make you feel? It doesn't have to be a verbal thank-you, although those are the most obvious. It could be the way their eye glints a little differently when looking at you, or the way their smile seems just that bit warmer and deeper, or even the ease with which they begin to speak and carry themselves around you. Around a potential romantic partner, it might be seen in the way their body sways when near you, or the softness they bring more and more into their words toward you. Their gratitude might also take the form of trust instead.