Then you have to leave or get rid of them to protect yourself. When someone comes along that you really like and want to continue to associate with, they leave you. While many have made promises to extricate you from the pain and sorrow of Scare City, each pledge has been broken. With every disappointment you vow that next time you will be more wary to trust. Hourly, newscasts and newspapers in Scare City splash headlines of disaster and mayhem before the eyes of already terrified observers. It seems that no matter how hard people try to stay safe, there is yet another more horrifying report of massive layoffs, poisons in the foods, deranged criminals on the loose, and newly-discovered incurable diseases. Life in Scare City just seems to be getting worse all the time, and sullen minds behind sunken eyes wonder, What ever happened to the good old days? She is naturally suited for this type of work--she understands firsthand the difficulties the children encounter. She has been a tremendous resource for me where Sam is concerned. But more important, she has become my best friend. Remember the difficulties that Asperger's syndrome adults have with making and keeping friends? Well, by finding a friend who understands these disorders, Shannon finally feels accepted for who she is. And by finding a friend with the honesty and creativity of Shannon, my life has been enriched beyond description. Another triumph I must point out (although this is my first mention of him) is the executive director of Sam's school. He is an example of one who has triumphed over the deficits commonly associated with ADHD: inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. He and his wife started this school, which is designed to meet the individual needs of each student. Under his guidance, the school's population has more than doubled in seven years, and new facilities have been added to accommodate its growing student body. Remember, at a new job, optics are everything in those first few months. Heed the old saying He who has a reputation as an early riser may sleep until noon. In other words, if you establish your image early on as a diligent and reliable worker, people will cut you a great deal of slack later.

Nunchi for Those Who Hate Their Jobs I hear you. You might be in a job situation so irremediable that none of my advice so far resonates. You might have a pervert colleague, a sadistic boss, or an inhumane sick-leave policy. And depending on your field, the state of the economy or whom you are supporting at home, you might not be able to get your head around finding another job at the moment. If this is the case, I offer up this quotation from the Korean Buddhist monk Haemin Sunim, author of the international bestseller The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down: When you leave work for the day, if you find yourself asking, Do I have to live my whole life like this? There is no respite from the daily grind. Life is a struggle, and then you die. That's just the way it is in Scare City. Sound familiar? The existence you have just read about is the dominant theme for billions of human beings on the planet now and throughout history. Perhaps you will also recognize this place: Just down the road (a thought) from Scare City, there is a domain entirely unlike it. Those who live in this realm enjoy abiding peace, harmony, and gratitude for the beauty and goodness they find wherever they look. That is why their buns are dancing all the time, and the kingdom is appropriately called A Bun Dance. Relaxed people walk the pathways of A Bun Dance at all hours of the day and night, trusting that Spirit walks with them. One key to this man's success has been his willingness to adapt to his ADHD. Rather than trying to organize his days on his own, he relies upon assistants to manage his schedule and keep track of his appointments, meetings, and deadlines. As a result, this highly successful educator is free to influence the lives of hundreds of children each year rather than live frustrated by his ADHD.

Finally, there is Dr Temple Grandin, the woman who wrote the foreword to this article. Her story is one of perseverance. Her mother sought out therapy and services even though conventional medical doctors repeatedly told her that her daughter was handicapped to the point of needing to be institutionalized. In part because of her mother's tenacity, Dr Grandin has become one of the leading experts in animal-handling technologies. Her unique approach to thinking--she calls it thinking in pictures, which is also the title of her best-selling article--allows her to design chutes and equipment from the perspective of animals rather than humans. Likewise, she developed something called the squeeze machine to help patients with autistic disorders find relief from anxiety and overstimulation. Most important, though, is her willingness to allow the outside world into her own. Breathe in deeply and slowly, and ask yourself how your work is helping others, regardless of how insignificantly or indirectly. As you focus on others, you can reconnect with the meaning and purpose of your work. That's nunchi at its noblest, so I'll repeat it: Ask yourself how your work is helping others, regardless of how insignificantly or indirectly. Maybe you get to help customers once in a while. Maybe you're expected to work such late hours that you're there when the cleaning staff arrive. But maybe you're also the only person who says hello to those cleaners, and don't they really deserve to be acknowledged? Why not make them coffee or offer them one of your biscuits? They'd rather be at home too; Will these gestures make you walk to an odious job with a spring in your step? Probably not, but it will give you something even more important: a sense of meaning in the midst of pointless drudgery. Bun Dancers live beyond the belief in opposing forces of good and evil that dominates the consciousness of those in Scare City. They acknowledge one Force of Love that gently holds the entire universe in its benevolent care. Those living in A Bun Dance enjoy loving relationships.

They appreciate the gifts bestowed by their loved ones, rather than criticizing them for what they are not. While the residents of Scare City are always seeking, the denizens of A Bun Dance are constantly finding. Bun Dancers have discovered that the riches of life are available right where they are. When a stage of relationship is complete in A Bun Dance, both partners acknowledge and celebrate the gifts that each has brought to the union. Each partner knows that only greater good awaits, and there is a sense of yet deeper blessing as each partner takes the next step toward their destiny. When people unite in A Bun Dance, their love and friendship last for a lifetime and beyond. The prevalent theme of livelihoods in A Bun Dance is creativity. By speaking with candor about what it is like to be autistic, Dr Grandin has pulled back the veil from a little-understood disorder and let in the light of understanding. Because of her tremendous determination and her ability to use her gifts to help others, whether man or beast, she has touched the lives of many. Obviously, these examples are not what everyone would consider grand triumphs of a lifetime. Instead, we are conditioned by the world to view only outstanding achievements as triumphs. Yet within the everyday range of people diagnosed with an autistic spectrum disorder or ADHD, there are daily triumphs worth noting: These victories, when measured by the standards of the world, are minimal at best. However, when viewed within the framework of the Lord's designs for our personal development, our roles within our families, and our contributions to society, these triumphs are hard-won victories indeed. WELL-KNOWN PEOPLE HELD IN COMMON As we speak of similarities between ADHD and Asperger's syndrome, it is interesting to note that both camps claim the same personalities as their examples of triumphs. ADHD researchers declare that Albert Einstein was a classic example of someone with ADHD. Are the quiet people in your office getting more work done than the rest, or are they simply quiet? Do they seem to get more or less respect than their noisier peers? If you didn't have ready answers, use the next work meeting as an opportunity to watch your colleagues.

It doesn't matter whether you get to the bottom of all of these; You'll learn far more than the answers to just these particular questions. Nunchi for the Nervous One reason I wrote this article is that many other advice articles seem to offer help that I don't consider helpful. Often the advice is tantamount to You have to already be OK to become OK. You know, like, Love yourself or no one will love you. What is that, blackmail? When Bun Dancers awake each morning, their minds and hearts are brimming with creative ideas through which they can bring new expression, art, and color to life. Bun Dancers choose their professions out of passion, not entrapment; Money in A Bun Dance is equated not with lack, but with the delight of passing along energy to expand freedom and service. Whereas those in Scare City have made money into an emotionally charged issue over which to fight, Bun Dancers recognize that all of their supply comes not from people, but from God. Manifestation is not a function of earthly supply, but spiritual consciousness. Money in A Bun Dance is an expression of good, and the more it passes along, the more it expands. Since there is no perception of victimhood in A Bun Dance, there are no villains. As a result, public monies are not required for defense, crime protection or punishment, and the repayment of massive loans, as they are in Scare City. Instead, community monies are channeled into service, education, health care, and the endowment of the creative arts and sciences. As a result, the quality of life in A Bun Dance steadily expands. At the same time, however, autism researchers make the same assertion, suggesting that Einstein was autistic. Other personalities whom ADHD researchers claim for their own include Winston Churchill, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, and Thomas Edison. Again, autism researchers claim some of these same people as their own as well.