Date Tags ideas

What situations cause you stress and how could you alleviate them? This outward behaviour sends messages to the people you are communicating with, so it is worth spending a little time considering what message you might be sending. For example, if you appear quiet and laid back, the receiver of the message could interpret this in different ways. They might see you as considerate and approachable or may assume that you have nothing to contribute, or any of a whole range of possible interpretations and inferences. Is this the message you want to send? Ping's apartment was always immaculate, if modest. She had stopped buying clothes for herself, and her sweater was fraying slightly at the neck. She kept up the plants by her window as part of her regular routine. Very important, she said. I like the flowers for my health. She shook her head at my question about regrets. It's impossible, she said. You can't go back. Let bygones be bygones. Ping described her daily routine. Like her father, she had a natural reserve. She worked hard to live on the moral and artistic high ground toward which she was naturally--and beautifully--inclined, but at some point along the way, this slipped quietly into such reserve as we might call emotional aloofness--like Anna Hall Roosevelt, perhaps, protecting herself and her own suffering. Indeed, I remember as a child seeing it in her eyes: her suffering. It terrified me. There was nothing I could do to help.

By the way, a thought here that has bothered me for years, and is pertinent to our discussion: Why do we think that all women must be geniuses at motherhood, when this is so obviously not the case? Do we imagine that just anyone can be a great mother--or even a mother at all? Do we imagine that just anyone can do brain surgery? Do we imagine that just anyone can be a NASA scientist? Each of us has a calling, yes. I ate a lot of bread. I ate a lot of pasta. My girlfriend and I wondered how many times the Obamas had eaten there and whether they'd sat in our booth. That night we stayed at a nearby hotel. The race started at 7:00 a. m. , which is dumb, and I didn't want to wake up at 5:00 a. m. just so I could get all the way down there in time. Instead, I paid a bunch of money so I could wake up at 5:30 in a strange bed. If not, what message would you like to transmit through your external behaviour? In some circumstances you might want to create a different impression, for example, by showing through your body language and speed and tone of voice that you are working urgently to get a result (mobiliser style), or that you want to engage and enthuse people (energiser style). Jenny's demeanour came across as unassertive and she found it difficult to make her points heard when in discussion with others. She learned how to signal through her body language that she had something to say, such as by shifting her body, leaning forward, taking in a breath, moving her hand - a bit like attracting the attention of a waiter in a restaurant. She also worked on how to express herself more concisely and assertively, by planning and summarising what she wanted to say in advance, speaking more loudly and lowering her tone.

She also used assertive phrases such as `I think-, I want-, my opinion is-' These small changes helped her to have a bigger impact. Being aware of your own inner drives, when you are interacting with others, helps you manage the accompanying behaviours and gives you more chance of achieving your aims. Similarly, being consciously aware of your stressors when your needs are not met means that you can manage your reactions more constructively. Jim, a newly appointed leader with the synthesiser style, was people-oriented, liked by his team and successful at getting results. He had been promoted internally and was aware that he needed to develop other skills and behaviours in order to be successful at the more senior level. She liked to sleep late, then heat up breakfast that her home attendant had prepared the night before. The attendant would arrive at ten and do the dishes. Mornings Ping watered the flowers; she used to go to an exercise class in the morning, but she had come to prefer just sitting around. After lunch she took a nap, and at three she went downstairs to play mah-jongg for a couple of hours, always with the same three women from Guangdong Province in southern China. A good day, she said, was a day when she won. Every evening she talked to her daughter on the phone and went down to the building's activity room to read or talk. She didn't watch TV at night because it hurt her back to sit up, so she sometimes read lying down before bed. A few years back, her daughter had given her a laptop so she could e-mail or Skype with relatives in China, but she had no place for it, and it was too heavy for her to carry around the apartment. She tried a tablet, but her hands were too shaky for a touchscreen. But many of us have no calling to be parents. Why should there be shame in this? In recent years, musing on this question, I've realized what my mother's true, more authentic calling might have been. Our mother was truly fit to be a queen. (I'm not being the slightest bit facetious here, and I've polled my siblings and we all agree on this point.

Indeed, anyone who knew Mom cannot look at pictures of Queen Elizabeth II of England in old age without thinking of my mother. They look remarkably alike. ) Mom was naturally regal, with excellent manners and tastes. She was extremely intelligent. Well spoken. I'm a genius. Anywho, the morning of, I got out of bed and took a shower to wake up. Did some stretches, because my right knee was still kind of pissed at me. Got dressed in my running clothes. I crammed some energy stroopwafel things in my pocket--they're basically fancier and more expensive sugar cookies. During my longer runs, I had been eating one of these about every three miles or so to give me some extra energy from the sugar when I started to hit a wall, and since it had worked before, it would work again, I thought. After we left the hotel room, I realized my first huge mistake: I almost forgot my nipple guards. I went back and got loaded up. #ProtectTheNips My girlfriend wasn't running the race because she is smarter than me. Learning about the styles helped him to crystallise his key strengths, challenges and priorities for action. He knew that his approachable manner could be seen as lacking authority and that his consultative style could be seen as indecisive, so he consciously adapted his behaviour to ensure that he was firm and fair with others and kept them informed about key decisions. What do you see as your strengths and challenges? When we interact with other people, we sometimes have an impact on them which was not what we intended. Often we have a good intention, but how we express it has a negative impact - our positive intentions are lost because of the way we have come across to others.

The physical energy and verbal style may not connect well and build rapport with people of other styles. The inner drives of people with the other styles are different and therefore they have different priorities in what they consider to be important and worth spending time on. Synthesisers believe that it is worth spending time to integrate all the information to get the best result possible - this strongly held belief can slow the process down, frustrate others and lead to action being taken too late or not at all - hardly a good outcome. Some years ago, I was part of a team working on a leadership programme in a large IT company. I have the synthesiser style and one of my colleagues was a Mobiliser. This left Ping with a small circle of people and activities, made even smaller recently by the death of a close friend from the building. But it was a highly curated circle. Each meant something to her. She didn't spend energy on people she didn't care about or doing things she didn't like. She didn't go to a job she hated or a school where the other students were mean. She didn't worry about getting fired or flunking math. Her biggest concern was that she have enough money for her burial, and she had already secured that. Anxieties about work, marital strains, money worries, time conflicts, day-to-day stress--these were the things that kept me up at night or made me unhappy; for Ping and the other elders, they didn't really exist. Life was easier now, she said. She could give a talk in front of many people without being nervous in the slightest--and when she was speaking, she commanded attention. She was a hard worker, and very detail oriented. She would have gobbled up those red boxes of state papers coming over daily from the prime minister's office. (At her death, it took months to clean out her impeccably organized office and thousands of well-marked file folders. Forty years of tax returns were there.