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While experiencing the joy of sparkling might sound like an abstract notion, it is surprisingly simple. When we find our bliss within, we may find it in one another and in our world around us. Maintainers actually exercise longer and harder than people who've never been overweight. In one study, they worked out an average of about sixty minutes daily compared to fifty-two minutes for the never-overweight group. The difference in workout intensity was even more telling: Maintainers averaged twenty-four minutes daily of moderately high-intensity activity compared to about seventeen minutes for the never overweight. Over weeks and months, that adds up to a big difference in calories burned. While not every successful maintainer strength trains, the NWCR data show that the numbers of those who do are growing. I'm not surprised. Strength training increases the rate at which you burn calories. Cardio exercise is great, and it's where many people who want to lose weight start, but if you really want to have the ultimate workout plan, you'll need to incorporate strength training as well. Follow my exercise guidelines in chapter 4, and you'll be on track to duplicate the maintainers' success, then check out appendix 6 for a sample plan that consists of both strength and cardio. The lesson here is that if you want to lose weight and keep it off, you're going to have to step up your activity--there's no way around it. Perfectionism specifically is being challenged on some of our major elite college campuses, in protest of the marked increase in student suicides. The students themselves are confronting the unspoken message that you're not supposed to struggle, appear lost or frustrated, or reveal that your studies are actually very difficult for you. After all, you're a student at Stanford or Penn. You're above all that. You were smart enough to get in. It should be no sweat. How are they challenging this myth? In the field of industrial psychology, we often deal with the challenge of achieving the proper "man-task interface." The objective is to get the right person doing the right job.

Two people of equal intelligence, for example, might have very different results when performing the same job. The reason lies in differing core traits that exist at the level of their authentic self. Even though they are of equal intelligence, one matches up to the specific requirements of the job, and the other simply does not. If you are struggling in any aspect of your life--career, relationships, finances, family, or feelings and expectancies about self--it is entirely possible that the problem is not with you, but with your personal "man-task interface." You may in fact be pursuing people, goals, objectives, or experiences of self that are incongruent with your authentic core. As I said earlier, don't get caught by rigid thinking. You must be willing to challenge virtually every single aspect of your life, including the reality that you may be wanting and pursuing things that simply aren't right for you. Gratitude in etymology derives from the origin of Latin to be pleasing or thankful'. <a href=''>The</a> process of being able to be thankful for life. <a href=''>The</a> opposite of this can be experienced in the terrible position of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder where that process is disrupted. <a href=''>The</a> amygdala portion of the brain receives such a highly emotional stimulus in the trauma that it does not present the information to the hippocampus and on to the neocortex in order for it to make sense of it. <a href=''>I</a> know that is a little technical, so here is a simpler version. <a href=''>Gratitude</a> is a wonderful way of letting you get back to pleasing events, being thankful for what you have. <a href=''>A</a> soldier returning from war needs to be able to experience the joy of a good meal, the sound of children and wind in the trees. <a href=''>A</a> car accident victim to be able to enjoy sunsets again, to travel to marvellous places around the world, to listen to music and relax. <a href=''>Your</a> particular traits and characteristics, and your store of accurate, undistorted knowledge, are what define you and differentiate you from every other human being in the world. <a href=''>This</a> distinction of you is true, however, if and only if you live a life in which everything that is uniquely you is allowed to come out. <a href=''>You</a> must seize every genuine characteristic that is you and allow it to take center stage in your life. <a href=''>And</a> it can be done. <a href=''>Rediscovering</a> the authentic self is not esoteric, mystical work that can be done only by some philosopher on a mountaintop somewhere--it's a job that can and must be done by you. <a href=''>You</a> can't be you if you don't know you. <br /><br /><a href=''>You</a> may have access, but it is up to you to exercise it. <a href=''>Failing</a> to do so renders you nothing more than the eighty-third "sheep" from the left in Row 487,000,999! <a href=''>Do</a> the facts about rising suicides frighten you? <a href=''>How</a> do you feel about the fight against the stigma of mental illness? <a href=''>How</a> in the context of a book on perfectly hidden depression are these questions even important? <a href=''>Finding</a> your motivation for change will be vital, because those very changes will be difficult. <a href=''>Your</a> perfectly hidden depression has been there for you day after day, week after week. <a href=''>It's</a> helped you survive. <a href=''>So,</a> you'll need support. <a href=''>And</a> that's when the fear of how others, even loved ones, might respond can be paralyzing. <a href=''>Your</a> life in this world consists of a series of interactions, some external, some internal. <a href=''>Through</a> these external interactions, the world either affirms and builds on what you start with or it countermands, attacks, and erodes it. <a href=''>The</a> internal factors and reactions are just as powerful as, if not more powerful than, the external ones as you interpret and react to what happens in your life. <a href=''>The</a> end result, if you are a product of an unkind and insensitive journey in your life, is a fictional self. <a href=''>It</a> is fictional because those negative experiences in your life and--perhaps more importantly--your reactions to and interpretations of those experiences, pull you away from who you once knew you were. <a href=''>The</a> result is that you begin to ignore who and what you are and what you want and need. <a href=''>This</a> self opts instead to shape you into a nonwave-making conformist: just take it, don't make trouble, just take it. <a href=''>That</a> conforming definition of you may be convenient for the world, but it can leave you frustrated and lacking hope, passion, and energy. <a href=''>In</a> order to disconnect from this fictional self and reconnect with your authentic self, you must understand how both sets of influences, external and internal, have contributed to the life you're living right now, and how those influences can be controlled by you to create what you really want and need. <a href=''>Gratitude</a> is the ability to use your senses for pleasure. <br /><br /><a href=''>To</a> allow you to smile and feel good, maybe even for no particular reason other than you are alive. <a href=''>Not</a> anxious about what you do not have or depressed at what you have lost. <a href=''>If</a> your head is full of anxiety or depressive thoughts, there is no room for gratitude. <a href=''>Like</a> a house full of objects, you have to declutter and make space. <a href=''>Just</a> like your lungs do in the act of breathing. <a href=''>The</a> act of being grateful will create space inside to let new feelings/states of mind enter your personalYouniverse'. There are many books and techniques out there for clearing clutter in your environment. The premise being this will then have an influence on your mind and heart. Giving ourselves permission to explore and share our sparkle is a gift beyond compare. We are all beings with innate creativity and integrity. We use just a fraction of our minds in daily life, connecting only just a little with our wildness and divinity. Giving ourselves permission to sparkle means connecting with the magic that we are and allowing ourselves to gracefully accept it. This might take a little getting used to, especially if we have become accustomed to dulling our sparkle. There are many reasons why we hide our light. Perhaps we are accidentally living on autopilot, disempowered and blinded to our own magic and the magic of life. Perhaps we wish to please others by clipping our wings and staying small. Perhaps we choose not to draw attention to ourselves, dulling our sparkle because it feels like the humble thing to do. Perhaps we have become hardened or cynical to life, or feel that we aren't allowed to sparkle. Whatever our reasons may be, we must let them go. It is time to release ourselves from any old and limiting beliefs now, plant ourselves deeply into the magic of this earth and this life, and sparkle not only for our own sake but also to be lighthouses for others with whom we share our world.

You probably were expecting this one. Yes, successful maintainers do eat nutritiously and in moderation. Here are some specifics: They keep a lid on calories. The average reported calorie count of NWCR participants is 1,380 per day--although that number warrants a little explanation. "Our participants report their calorie intake, we don't measure it directly, and studies consistently show that people tend to underestimate their calorie intake by about 30 percent," says Suzanne Phelan, PhD, a psychologist who is one of the principal NWCR researchers as well as an assistant professor of kinesiology at California Polytechnic State University. Underestimating by 30 percent would make the actual daily count a much more satisfying and doable 1,800 calories. And it's an average; some people need more calories, others less. Whatever you determine is right for you; the point is that you can't go back to your old high-calorie ways. Part of the healing process is moving beyond this fear. Savannah said, "If I let people know what I feel inside, if I let anyone know what's in my head, I will never be seen as competent by them again." That's the same thing Dan Harris initially feared. Yet they both decided to take that risk. In this process, you will fail. You will falter. Not every day will lead to a success. You will relapse into old behaviors, catch yourself, and keep on going. To help you, you'll need to create a support network, even if it's one person--someone who you trust, will not judge you, and will support your journey. It won't be easy for you, but you will need to allow this someone to see you struggle. Not only does the fictional self send you false information about who you are and what you should be doing with your life, it actively blocks the information you need in order to maintain the connection with your authentic identity. Relying on information from the fictional self means you're putting your trust in a broken compass. Think of it this way: When you come to a crossroads and you should go right, you go left instead.