If you're going to attempt something you failed at before, think about what you learnt from that. A driving test is an obvious example here. Whether it was a mock test or your actual test, if you failed a part of it, then naturally, you'd work on that part before attempting the test again. The same approach applies to everything else - think about what you learnt and what you'd do differently next time. There is a complicated interaction between our personality development and our ADD. Our basic personality is pretty much formed by the age of six, by the interaction of our genetic makeup with our environment, primarily our parental figures. Our temperament, like shy or adventuresome, quiet or aggressive, is largely inherited. Then our ongoing everyday environment usually has more effect on us than any particular events do, despite what Hollywood says. If we have ADHD, the hyperactive type, we will get lots of reaction from our parents and the rest of our environment very early on. For many years, I tried practicing mindful meditation. I wanted so badly to experience the wellness benefits of what I'd heard about meditation. But, for some reason, I was never able to focus during my meditation sessions. I could not control or calm my mind from drifting everywhere. I just could not stop my mind from thinking. I even wondered if I was trying too hard to meditate and prevent my mind from wandering back to my to-do list. ADD, the non-hyperactive type, may not show up much until we start school, or even until school begins to get hard. Having ADD or ADHD can greatly influence how our parents, and then others, see us and deal with us, and ultimately how we view ourselves. Much depends on our environment: do we get support, help, tolerance and acceptance, or do we get criticism, control and abuse? A negative, disapproving environment lays the foundation for shame. Our parents' views of us become part of us, and this can be helpful or destructive to us.

Perfection is excellence. But is being a perfectionist the same as being a positive thinker? Well, if the self-talk of your inner perfectionist were cheering you on from the sidelines, that would be a good thing. But when the voice of your inner perfectionist is saying This isn't good enough, it's not right. <a href=''>It's</a> not how it should be. <a href=''>It</a> should be better than this', then it's not helpful and it's definitely not positive. <a href=''>Create</a> targets and goals that are relatively easy to achieve and think of achieving each small step as a series of small successes. <a href=''>Thinking</a> and acting in this way really can prevent you from becoming overwhelmed by the fear of failing because you are only focusing on one relatively easy step at a time. <a href=''>You</a> can visualize yourself doing well and achieving each step. <a href=''>If</a> you're afraid of failing at something, having aPlan B' in place can help you feel more confident about moving forward. Think positively and recognize that switching to Plan B doesn't mean that you're giving up, it means that you're increasing your chances of success by recognizing there's more than just one way to achieve it. Use body language, such as eye contact and nodding. Wait out silencesGive the person time to think and choose their words carefully. Show that you see how they feelName the feelings the other person seems to be showing, e.g., "You seem angry." Do not argue or insult the person for having these feelings. Say it back to them in their own wordsWhen you think you understand what the person is saying, repeat it back to them in their own words. If they correct you, thank them and try again. You don't have to agree with what they have said; just repeat it to be sure that you heard it correctly. After age six, we become more involved outside our immediate family and our personalities can be affected somewhat by experiences with others. Teachers, neighbors, coaches, other relatives, and others can have a significant positive or a somewhat negative impact. If we had a good start, probably bad experiences won't affect us much.

We're equipped to deal with negative things that come up, and probably the parents who gave us the good start will continue supporting us and help us deal with the rough spots. If we didn't have a very good start, then we're vulnerable to bad experiences and maybe won't get help from our parents when we need it, so bad experiences will just make our bad situation worse. With ADD or ADHD, it's more difficult for our parents to give us a good start and we almost certainly will have some negative experiences. Don't counterattack or respond to provocation. If the other person makes attacking or critical comments, resist the urge to argue or react. It's too easy to get pulled off track and into old patterns. Direct the person back to the topic, e.g., "That's another matter. Let's keep talking about..." The Root Chakra is located at the base of the spine and helps us maintain a sense of being on a firm and solid ground with inner stability. The Sacral Chakra is located at the pelvis and helps us regulate our emotions and desires and not to be driven by them. The Navel Chakra is located at the navel center and helps us digest not only our food but also our life experiences. Maybe you want to challenge yourself to do well in something; to be the best and have the best. That's not a bad thing. But there's a difference between being an adaptable perfectionist and being an unadaptable perfectionist. Adaptable perfectionism is all about developing and improving. It's a flexible approach; you adjust to accommodate changing conditions. Crucially, you recognize your limits and other people's and you don't stress yourself trying to perfect every little detail of something - your work, your appearance, an event etc. Unadaptable perfectionists, on the other hand, are rarely satisfied with what they achieve. If something isn't perfect, they dismiss it. Unadaptable perfectionists rigidly conform to very high standards and expectations.

They are unable to adjust to different conditions. This sort of unhelpful perfectionism involves polarized `all or nothing' thinking; there's no middle ground or grey areas. Things are either good or bad, a success or a total failure, clever or stupid. There's no room for adjustments, mistakes or imperfections. The Heart Chakra is located at the heart center and helps us tap into unconditional love. Its energetic function is to help us find authentic self-expression. The Throat Chakra is located near the base of the throat and also helps us find authentic self-expression. The Third-Eye Chakra is located between the eyebrows and helps us learn to know ourselves emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. The Crown Chakra is located at the crown of the head and helps us function in a more enlightened way, cultivate self-mastery, and find a sense of connection with all. If you are an unadaptable perfectionist you only see the negative aspects and focus on the relatively insignificant details of yourself, other people, experiences and events that are imperfect. And it bothers you that they're not perfect! Often, just like people who fear failure, your self-worth is tied in to how well you achieve. But as you rarely live up to the high standards you set for yourself (and you might believe that others judge you on your ability to be perfect too), you fall into a downward spiral of self-criticism, guilt, blame and resentment. In any event, we can still benefit from positive input from the outside world. My wife and I marvel that we both had grandparents who seem to have been life saving. We wonder if that's just coincidence. By contrast, adaptable perfectionists acknowledge imperfections but don't get hung up on them. They have a broader perspective; they focus more on what is positive and good about themselves, other people, situations, etc. They see mistakes and difficulties as an opportunity to learn and imperfections as an opportunity to improve. If things haven't been too bad, and we aren't too damaged, if we haven't totally lost our true self or been overwhelmed by shame, we get a second chance in adolescence.

To some degree our personalities can be dismantled and put back together in new and different ways. We can reduce the power of our parents' influence. We can examine their values and viewpoints, and chose what to keep and what to reject. We can try out different ways of being and find what seems to fit or work for us. We tend to keep most of our temperament and basic personality, but we can come out of adolescence with some significant change, hopefully for the better. On the other hand, some people never progress out of adolescence. This is more likely to happen if we have ADD. I had a profound experience I will never forget. For the first time, my mind did not drift; I felt the sensation of internal peace, happiness, and love. Finally, I experienced the nourishing and spiritual effects of meditation that I had been seeking for years. I was ready to spiritually grow through the sounds of vibration and violet flame meditation techniques of healing the body, mind, and soul. I was persistent about meditation and finally found a method that worked for me. You don't need to go through the journey guideless, as I was for such a long time. Choose a consistent time so you can develop the habit of meditating daily. Find a quiet and comfortable space. Minimize light exposure. I highly suggest starting out in the sitting position to learn. Be sure that you are hydrated and have gone to the bathroom. Agree where you can. If the other person makes a good point, agree with them.