What you've "done" holds more weight. It's more powerful. It's money in the bank. Do it first, and then, if you still need attention, share your progress with others. Discussing progress is better than only discussing plans! Getting your act together never happens overnight - and that's the problem. We live in a society where we can have everything we want overnight. We can have it all right when we want it. We've become too accustomed to short-term gratification and never having to wait for anything. Although it's a major convenience in a lot of areas of our lives, it has very real and negative effects on our thinking, actions, behaviors, habits, decisions, and life. It makes us impatient. It gives us anxiety. Waiting used to be a sign of strength but now, it's only an inconvenience. We're lazier, unmotivated, lacking patience, our mind is weak, we're spoiled, and no longer able to handle the minor discomfort and inconvenience of the self-control and self-discipline involved in creating a smoother and higher-quality life. We're unable to wait for what we want. As a result, we're not making an effort and we're refusing to put in the time and work necessary to get our act together and get out of our comfort zone to become better versions of ourselves. We spend more time playing on our cell phones and watching TV than we should and our mind is constantly being primed and programmed with advertisements selling you "easier, quicker, no waiting, no effort required" solutions to every one of our problems. Businesses are using our laziness, weak-mindedness, lack of motivation, and short-term gratification thinking to sell us products and we don't even realize it! They know how lazy we've become and they're using our weaknesses to take money out of our pockets! It's now wide-spread belief we can actually make short-term efforts in anything we want and achieve long-term results.

If you want long-term results, make long-term efforts. That's the only way to do it. You have to be willing to do what needs to be done for as long as necessary. It's important to learn how to focus for longer and longer periods of time in order to see things through to completion. We have more incomplete projects than ever before. If something takes too long, we're giving up and moving onto something that doesn't take as long so we're not "bored" and unentertained. The dream of every lazy kid today is to be a YouTube star because it's fast and easy. They press a button on their phone, say whatever they think will get attention, and then hit another button to upload it. YouTube, practically, does all the rest. No work, no waiting, no patience involved. Fast and easy is now more appealing than ever before because we currently have shorter attention spans than goldfish - according to a study done by Microsoft. The attention span of a goldfish - 9 seconds. Ours - 8. This is the effect our short-term gratification and digitized lifestyle is having on our brain. Our minds are getting used to lightning speeds and faster and faster results and as a result, if something takes longer than 8 seconds, we lose focus and quit caring. If a web page takes 4 to 5 seconds to load, it's considered, by experts, incredibly slow. Because our attention span is diminishing, we're giving up on getting our act together. We get bored, we give up. It's not "fun", we give up. It's not "cool", we give up.

It takes "forever", we give up. We have to do certain things over and over again, we give up. Lightning fast phones and computers are, literally, rewiring our brain to only wait a certain period of time before cutting off one operation and moving into another that gives it what it wants. We get bored and give up faster and more often than ever before! For the shy, self-conscious individual, nothing is more stressful (except maybe a blind date) than a work function. Being forced or coerced into spending additional time with people you may or may not have any relationship with but have to see day after day, plus your boss, can make for an awkward evening if you're a social wallflower. It's awkward enough if you develop relationships with people in which you rarely talk and yet see each other constantly. After a certain amount of time, there's an understanding that you just don't talk to each other. So, what happens if you breach that understanding and start up a conversation? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Nine times out of ten, the awkwardness you're imagining just doesn't exist. People like to imagine all the horrible, uncomfortable situations they're about to create for themselves, but in reality, nothing of the sort happens when you just act like yourself and interact with other people comfortably. When it comes time to present an idea, get in on a call or be a part of a think tank style interaction with your co-workers, you'll need to be likable or your ideas simply won't get across. The problem, however, is that by the very nature of most workplaces everyone has a different perspective that informs how they see you and how they respond to everything you do. To manipulate those viewpoints separately is nearly impossible. You must be as generally likable as possible from as many perspectives as possible. Saying whatever is on your mind, which can lead to fights with friends, family, romantic partners, coworkers, or might earn you a reprimand from your boss. Obsessively talking about the triggering event with someone else. Co-ruminating is when you talk about the problem, over and over, but don't engage attempts to solve the problem and refuse to temporarily "let it be" until you feel a little calmer.

In an emotionally over-controlled moment, you may feel afraid that if you'd let yourself feel what you're feeling, you'd just explode. So it's safer to push strong emotions away or bury them deep down. You may feel embarrassed that you are overreacting or like no one will understand. You insist that you "should not," "cannot," or just "will not" talk about the feelings with anyone else. Maybe you don't even understand what's going on yourself. Perhaps your mind draws a blank, your movement slows, and all you have the strength to do is close yourself in a dark room. You might find yourself doing any of these things. Quietly sitting and ruminating--that is, rehashing the situation over and over in your mind, analyzing what led you to feel bad and what's going to happen because you feel so bad. You're not actively trying to change the situation, you're just dwelling on it. You can also go through the motions of what you need to do, like getting home from work and making dinner, but inside you are ruminating. Quietly sitting and worrying--anticipating all the bad things that are going to spin out of control next. You can go through the motions of your day, all the while nonstop imagining what is going to happen next. In the next section, I'll review suggestions targeted for what might help you in a triggering moment, depending on your typical emotional coping style. You may identify with either or both, depending on the situation or the period in your life. Feel free to pick strategies that may help you from both sections. You tend to get so overwhelmed by the intense emotion that the spirit of these suggestions is to help you walk away from the emotion in a way that won't screw you up, whether later that day or the day after. I want you to nurture yourself in a truly loving and compassionate way so that you can give yourself the space you need, and still be prepared to transition back to your goals. This offers you the opportunity to move into LP or HP in due time. Here are some of the thoughts that may go through your mind, and suggestions for how to work with them. "This will never end." Remind yourself that emotions are temporary.

By definition, an emotion is a rapid-fire response to your environment. Emotions fade and give rise to new emotions. Giving yourself some space and time to decompress (with more strategies to do so below) can help you believe that this experience is but a moment, albeit a painful moment, in time. "I'm so worked up, I don't know what to do with myself." Make noticing what is going on in your body your one objective. See if you can write the sensations down. It might help to consider yourself an investigative journalist in the heat of the storm: this is what you've been waiting for, the chance to notice what changes in your body when you're really heated up. Avoid Sarcasm and Jokes - Being funny is one thing, but it needs to be sharp, to the point, and not directed at anyone. You never know when someone in the room might take part of what you say personally. It's not worth making a mistake and making a fool of yourself. Making a Convincing Argument - Never assume anything about anyone in the room. Just because your immediate boss understands the issue and agrees with you doesn't mean someone else doesn't need further explanation. Cover all details and don't belittle any viewpoints. If you think something's obvious, don't roll your eyes or act like it should be obvious. It could be insulting. Unipolar and bipolar disorders not only disrupt your mood but also greatly impair the ability to think clearly. When severe, the neurobiology of mood disorders derails how you reflect and problem solve. Rational sensibilities fall to the wayside and thinking takes on a flat and fixed characteristic. When hopelessness appears, the risk for death by suicide soars.9 This perilous mix of destructive thinking and hopelessness make the suicidal person believe there's one and only one solution--end his or her life. Suicide not only feels like a viable option but is also viewed as a practical solution. I've seen this inflexible thinking style many times with patients who were suicidal, as well as when I went through my own suicidal experiences.