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Some theories say that psychopathic behavior is innate--heredity and genetics are primary causes--and sociopathic behavior is learned--sociological factors and childhood trauma or abuse are the primary causes. Neither of these theories has been proven. Some experts theorize that both conditions are innate. Traits and behaviors common to both sociopaths and psychopaths are: They appear normal but are highly destructive to other people They have superiority complexes They have a grandiose sense of self-worth and self-image They are master manipulators They have no self-identity; PART ONE LET GO ONE IDENTITY I Am What I Think I Am It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection. In 1902, the sociologist Charles Horton Cooley wrote: I am not what I think I am, and I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am. Let that blow your mind for a moment. Our identity is wrapped up in what others think of us--or, more accurately, what we think others think of us. Not only is our self-image tied up in how we think others see us, but most of our efforts at self-improvement are really just us trying to meet that imagined ideal. If we think someone we admire sees wealth as success, then we chase wealth to impress that person. Teaching private music lessons had been a lifelong dream, ever since her band director in eighth grade had arranged for her to give clarinet lessons to a girl from a neighboring farm.

She showed up at my home on a horse, Cathy says with a laugh. So I can say my first music student arrived on horseback. In 1989, she purchased a piano lab and five digital pianos and began teaching group piano classes. In 1992, she took training to become a Kindermusik teacher. Her training took her to Oklahoma State, Chicago Northwestern, and Minneapolis. She was only the seventh person in Iowa to teach Kindermusik. Contrary to the fears of the company's president, the small town of Manchester, Iowa, embraced the early childhood music program. Then chronic pain began in 2003, bringing its own set of challenges to Cathy's home business and productivity. For eight years Cathy suffered. Fear not that thy life shall come to an end, but rather fear that it shall never have a beginning. SAY GOODBYE TO THE ASSASSINS OF YOUR SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered. And lo, no one was there. What if I told you that many people right now are hiring success hit men whose sole job is to keep them from ever experiencing any kind of success in their lives? Sounds crazy, doesn't it? Yet, these assassins are deadlier than any Navy SEAL, Special Forces operator or anyone you will ever see in the movies, because they never miss and they never stop. In fact, they can't get enough of this assassination stuff. So they create more assassins to infiltrate the lives of friends, family and co-workers. They are disingenuous

They are unaware of social cues They have charming, charismatic personalities They appear highly intelligent They are calm, sometimes eerily so They are well-mannered and well-behaved They are perpetual gratification seekers needing constant stimulation, pleasure, and excitement They cannot form emotional attachments or maintain relationships, but may be good at faking them They lack empathy but are adept at mimicking appropriate emotions They are remorseless If we imagine that a friend is judging our looks, we tailor our appearance in response. In West Side Story, Maria meets a boy who's into her. What's her very next song? I Feel Pretty. As of this writing, the world's only triple Best Actor Oscar winner, Daniel Day-Lewis, has acted in just six films since 1998. He prepares for each role extensively, immersing himself completely in his character. For the role of Bill the Butcher in Martin Scorsese's Gangs of New York, he trained as a butcher, spoke with a thick Irish accent on and off the set, and hired circus performers to teach him how to throw knives. And that's only the beginning. He wore only authentic nineteenth-century clothing and walked around Rome in character, starting arguments and fights with strangers. Perhaps thanks to that clothing, he caught pneumonia. It was challenging to keep the business going.

I was encouraged to file for disability, but it felt better for me to keep teaching than not, Cathy says about that time. I did hire a cleaning person as that was hard to keep up with and created more pain. Cathy began attending yoga classes, eventually training to become a yoga instructor. In 2012, she traveled to Toronto for a Yoga Therapy Intensive course. I took the training to help others, not realizing it would help me, Cathy says. Three months later, implementing these new practices, I was off all medications. Yoga therapy, meditation practice, and breath work literally saved my life. Yoga has done more than give Cathy a new lease on life; The breath, movement, and stillness that saved her are key elements in the yoga classes Cathy now teaches in her home studio. And the only things that keep them alive and going are fear, doubt and worry. When it has come to you that, when going for your dreams, living a great life and having the things you truly want, fear, doubt and worry may have stopped you more times than you realized. The fear of the unknown and what others might say or think if you don't succeed. The nagging doubt that's played over and over in your mind, reminding yourself, What makes you so darn sure you're good enough, talented enough or have what it takes to do the things you're dreaming or telling yourself you want to do? The worry of thinking you're too old, you don't have the education or money, you don't know the right people or it's too late for you to do it, now that you have a family or relationship. All these things have and will continue to keep you stuck in the quicksand of where you are right now until you finally realize that all fear, doubt and worry are imaginary. That's right; So how do you get rid of them? By re-focusing your thoughts. Focusing on the things you want to achieve. They are exploitative and violent

They demonstrate predatory behavior They are sadistic They are cold and callous They are compulsive liars They are often successful in their careers They have no regard for societal rules Psychopaths and sociopaths share many characteristic traits and behaviors with narcissists. That is why distinguishing between them is confusing. To truly understand the distinction, they must be examined under the entire antisocial personality disorder umbrella. Day-Lewis was employing a technique called method acting, which requires the actor to live as much like his character as possible in order to become the role he's playing. This is an incredible skill and art, but often method actors become so absorbed in their character that the role takes on a life beyond the stage or screen. I will admit that I went mad, totally mad, Day-Lewis said to the Independent years later, admitting the role was not so good for my physical or mental health. Unconsciously, we're all method acting to some degree. We have personas we play online, at work, with friends, and at home. These different personas have their benefits. They enable us to make the money that pays our bills, they help us function in a workplace where we don't always feel comfortable, they let us maintain relationships with people we don't really like but need to interact with. But often our identity has so many layers that we lose sight of the real us, if we ever knew who or what that was in the first place. We bring our work role home with us, and we take the role we play with our friends into our romantic life, without any conscious control or intention. However successfully we play our roles, we end up feeling dissatisfied, depressed, unworthy, and unhappy. She's also planned and coordinated women's retreat weekends, incorporating a journal-making activity she later conducted as a workshop at a grief retreat weekend.