In order to connect more deeply with all the healing elements within and around you, you may want to stop walking from time to time and simply breathe. The more you make yourself available to these elements, the more you are refreshed and healed. Sometimes it feels like we are always connected to a computer, laptop, tablet, or smartphone. When you need to refocus and feel human again, take 3 mindful breaths before turning on your computer, opening your laptop, checking your messages. At your computer, pause every now and then to follow your breathing and notice how you are sitting. If you are a bit tense, stretch your neck different ways, straighten your spine, and relax your body. Take long, deep inhalations and exhalations. During gaps in the flow of your work, come back to your breathing. She shrugged slightly. Maybe, but I'd like to be more like Heather. Darrell smiled sadly. Baby steps, sister. Baby steps. Felicia inhaled slowly, as if trying to build up her courage to say the rest of it, and when she did, it was as if she was afraid that if she didn't say it fast, it would remain inside her: Ever since we confronted Tomas, I've been a non-stop pig-out machine. I can't stop putting stuff in my mouth. I've always been like that, but things are way out of control right now. I looked it up on the Internet, and they got a name for it: Binge Eating. Well, I'm a pro at it. It's great to understand intellectually that attachment to ego is at the heart of many episodes of anger and conflict. But being aware of what triggers your ego and understanding how to set your ego aside take effort.

If you are attached to needing others to think, believe, or behave in the ways you expect (or demand), you will struggle to resolve conflict. In fact, the extent to which you are attached to needing things to be the way you demand them to be is directly correlated with how much anger you will experience. As you will discover in this article, the Buddha's teachings have had a deep impact in my life and are interwoven throughout my approach. For example, in the Buddha's famous Fire Sermon, he talked about all things being on fire. The sermon can seem strange--here is a peaceful figure describing such burning and chaos--until you understand that the fire he described is change. Seeing the fire of anger in the context of change taught me to walk directly through it without being afraid and without being burned, because the profound truth I learned was that all anger, all conflict, and in fact all emotional experiences have a beginning, a middle, and an end. They will inevitably change. Once I understood on the deepest level the true temporary nature of anger, I was significantly empowered to avoid making impulsive decisions in the beginning or middle of tough emotional experiences that I knew would ultimately come to an end. You can also do a forward bend while sitting or standing, and this can be very rejuvenating. Stop, sit, breathe. Listen, look, feel, smell. You deserve a break! Sit and breathe in and out through your nose. Imagine that you are drawing air in through the base chakra, located between the anus and genitals. As you draw breath in, imagine that it flows upward until it reaches your heart. As you breathe out, visualize the air flowing down to join the air of the next in-breath. You will become aware that you are breathing deeply and low. You may feel warmth or coolness in the chakra. With that disclosure, the group members said nothing and avoided looking at her. Felicia shifted uncomfortably in her chair, truly self-conscious.

Ben was the first to say anything. That's heavy--uh, I mean, serious, you know. The slip broke the tension and everyone chuckled uncomfortably. Dr Matt broke the awkwardness by being direct. Have you been just bingeing or have you done other stuff, like vomiting or using laxatives? Ashley interjected, There's a lot of that in my dorm. They binge drink and they puke--that's one thing--but they binge eat, and they make themselves puke every night after returning from the dining hall. It's disgusting! You, like me, will experience anger in your life. You will also encounter others who are angry. You are the only person in your life you will always live with, and you are the only person you can ever control in any interaction you ever have. The more you understand what leads to what in the story of anger and the concept of nonattachment, as well as the temporary nature of emotions, the better you will understand yourself, and the more open you will be to learning exactly what you need to do to walk directly through anger. In this article, I lay out the methodology for how you can do that. I created Yield Theory as my approach to psychotherapy twenty years ago. I've used it as a guiding force from which I have interacted with widely diverse clients: individuals struggling with the normal emotions of life, people dealing with very serious mental health issues, families suffering from interpersonal chaos, couples learning how to communicate, adolescents toiling with their ever-present angst, elite athletes competing on the world stage, celebrities coping with too much attention, men and women struggling with issues of intense anger, everyday people suffering in the throes of addiction, and some of the most violent criminals on the planet facing the consequences of their actions. My therapy work has taken me from the comfortable Zen setting of my private practice to national television shows to the deepest regions of solitary confinement in maximum-security prisons. I have seen thousands of clients, practiced more than 20,000 hours of clinical therapy, run a mental health organization, cofounded a center for people convicted of violent crimes, and taught as a tenured professor at a major university. In everything I've done, Yield Theory has guided me, helping me to counsel, teach, communicate, and cope with experiences I've had. Be aware of the feeling of inner energy flowing upward as it completes the circle on the out-breath to return into the body. The cat-cow stretch is perfect in the morning and evening and whenever your back can use a good stretch.

It is a great warmup for the spine and helps relax the muscles that go tense from too much sitting. Come to all fours. Draw your tailbone down and gently arch the back like a cat, while exhaling. Then, inhaling, raise the head and tailbone in the air like a cow in a gentle arch. Go back and forth, synchronizing breath with movement. Sit with your eyes closed. Inhale deeply through the nose, filling the lungs. Hold the breath for as long as possible. I mean, sorry, Felicia. Er, do you do that? Felicia shook her head and laughed ruefully at what she perceived as an idiotic question. Look at me. What do you think? No, I just binge and gain weight. I'm so fat; that's disgusting enough, don't you think? Ashley's face contorted into a mixture of being ashamed and feeling pity for her friend. Dr Matt redirected the focus back to some facts. Yield Theory is a powerful philosophy and an evidenced-based approach to change. It is also a way of life.

It is not a panacea by any means, but it is a revolutionary model from which you can learn how to interact with others on a deep level and induce change in a quick, effective way. It can help you connect with people who are resistant to change, and it can guide you through successful ways to handle any conflict. Yield Theory has been demonstrated to work as a de-escalation tool to help even highly resistant inmates classified as the most violent in maximum-security institutions make a statistically significant reduction in their violent outbursts, so imagine how effectively it can help you connect with others and deal with conflict in your own world. Although it's true that you cannot change others, only yourself, it's also true that you can have an impact. The key to affecting others in a way that ignites a change in them begins with you meeting people where they are, not where you think they should be. Unfortunately, the following Zen parable paints a fairly accurate picture of the way most people tend to hope to spark change in others. A fool once stood at the top of a mountain. Looking down, he saw that all the other people were at the bottom. Then exhale gently through the mouth and keep the lungs empty for as long as possible. Continue this breathing for 10 minutes. Return to normal breathing and just being still. Then, with your eyes closed, stand up and let your body be loose and receptive. The subtle energies will be felt to move the body. Know you are breathing in. Know you are breathing out. Be aware of your whole body. Smile to your body. Be aware of a place in your body where you have pain or discomfort. Look, guys, many victims of trauma have eating disorders or substance abuse disorders. He looked to Hunter.