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If I had to choose between the three attitudes about time which I have so far described, I would be hard-pressed to choose the superior one. But fortunately there is one other attitude about time which I consider ideal: The Enlightened Time Manager The fourth and most enlightened approach to time borrows from the other three. Thus, I followed another rule: Since my mom does not consider me worthy of protecting, I am unworthy of doing anything to stop or deal with the abuse. That's what sexual predators do: they use the strong rule-following tendencies of victims to go along with their demands, including keeping silent about these devastating actions. Traumatic episodes are defining moments because the victim breaks into pieces such that identity is lost for a long time. The rules that keep victims stuck in being lost could be called false rules; that is, they describe circumstances that do not exist. All victims of abuse and trauma (any trauma: rape victims, soldiers, car accident victims, people living in mobile homes when tornadoes strike. ) can be held hostage by these false rules. In order for people to recover from abuse and trauma, the false rules have to be challenged and replaced with rules that are true and accurate depictions of life. Psychologists have fancy words for these concepts: assimilation, accommodation, or over-accommodation, but the processes are known to all PTSD sufferers as the ways they get stuck avoiding the hurt, pain, shame, and other myriad emotions, which are normal parts of experience with a trauma. Sleep is one of the most powerful memory enhancement tools available. When you sleep before you study, you improve your chances of retaining the information. Ideally, you want a good night of sleep before you study. Even a nap before you start preparing for your test will help you learn and retain the information. You also want to turn in early after you study. You'll retain 20-40 percent more information when you enjoy a good night's rest after you study for your exam.

How much better will you do on the test if you remember 40% more? Our schools start too early (a plea). If you're a politician, school administrator, or community leader, I'd like to take this moment for a quick plea on behalf of our kids. Please start school later in the morning. The definition of empathy is to understand and share the feelings of another. This means that if you are able to put your own self and needs aside, you can really listen and let someone else who you are talking to reveal their personal ideas, beliefs, thoughts, and realities--and you can easily allow yourself to be open to honoring and accepting what they feel about all of these matters. This is an amazing quality to possess, and not all people are taught this skill when they are growing up as a child. When we are small, our parents and caregivers are models for us to learn how to act, behave, and experience the world all around us. If you were nurtured by people who aren't empathetic, then how would you even begin to understand what empathy is as you grow up? It is something that you can learn from your early life and childhood development, or not, depending on your upbringing--and as it is such a huge part of human bonding and connection, it is a vital skill and resource to help you thrive in the world. Many people believe that you have to exist as a compassionate individual if you want to feel happy, and there is some inherent truth to this concept: do unto thy neighbor, etc With all of the ways that this world is currently functioning (the epidemic of mental health issues prevalent in all cultures, the conditioning of technology and social media) we are designing a reality that hasn't helped us learn how to exist as creators of our own happiness and mental/emotional agility. The practice of empathy is something that takes you to that level, incorporating a principle of learning to work with your energy and attitude to be open and available to the emotional needs and feelings of others. The reality is that we all want to be next to someone when we go through our most difficult and challenging life moments, but that is not always possible. Is there some non-physical part of you that could live outside the body? The philosopher Descartes1 famously contested that the mind and body were separate entities that, even if all physical sensations were an illusory dream, our mind would still exist, stating, I think therefore I am'. <a href=''>He</a> would have come down firmly on the side of A mind with a body. <a href=''>Now,</a> because of neuroscience, most scientists reject the idea of separation. <a href=''>We</a> know that there is a continuous, complex, sometimes even tangled relationship between body and mind. <a href=''>It</a> is worth remembering, of course, that we are constantly assessed by others as a physical being. <br /><br /><a href=''>Some</a> psychologists even believe that our personalities mould to our appearance because that is the way we are treated by others. <a href=''>If</a> we look aggressive or sly, for example, we may be treated as someone who embodies these traits and then gradually take them on. <a href=''>Of</a> course, if we are aware of this (as you are now much more likely to be), we can counter the effect with the processes described through this article. <a href=''>It's</a> interesting to do a quick awareness exercise. <a href=''>When</a> the timer rings, you give yourself a short break (five or ten minutes). <a href=''>Contrary</a> to what your inner voice may be telling you upon reading that subtitle, meditation isn't just for hippies or yoga teachers. <a href=''>Millions</a> of people meditate every morning, from successful athletes to news anchors to your checkout clerk at the grocery store. <a href=''>Several</a> successful businessmen, including the Miracle Morning author Hal Elrod, cite using meditation as a part of their routine for their wealth and success. <a href=''>Sure,</a> for some people, meditation is the classic picture: sitting on a mat on the floor with legs crossed, eyes closed, and fingertips touching as they murmurom. But for others, it looks like turning on a soothing voice at two in the morning to help get back to sleep. For others, it looks like using a podcast as they drive, bike, or walk to work to center their focus for the day. For still others, it looks like sitting on the bathroom floor with a cup of coffee and a journal to slow down their thoughts and get ready for what's coming. What is meditation, then, if it's not the picture in your head? It's an amount of time you set aside during the day to be totally present in the moment and mindful of what's going on in your head, your heart, and your body. The enlightened time manager allots time for every aspect of his life. He even allots time for drifting, by scheduling time to do nothing. Like the nine-to-five person, he knows to limit the hours of work and to have quality time for other important values, such as family. And like the workaholic, he would never be afraid to work long hours -- but only when necessary. What makes the enlightened time manager enlightened is his ability to schedule himself to work only so many hours and still get more done than the workaholic. How does he do that?

Simply by working smarter, not always longer -- by focusing on more productivity per hour instead of putting in more hours. Enlightened time managers look for new ways to multiply their productivity. In other words, they develop wealth by the use of leverage. Leverage allows you to multiply your resources many times over. These false rules force the trauma victim to avoid facing his or her fears without learning how to deal with them. Only by facing the unpleasant and damaging effects of trauma can the victim achieve growth after the horrible events. However, before we can challenge false rules, it is helpful to understand how people come to follow rules at all. In this section, we describe the cognitive behavioral science of rule following, and we show how a person's rule following can become relentless, possibly inflexible, and may lead to becoming stuck. Understanding how such activity works helps us to know how to dismantle it, if and when we need to do so. Behavioral scientists define a rule as the description of an action and its outcome(s). An example could be the rule dentists often strongly suggest to their patients: floss your teeth daily. In this rule, the implication is that the activity of flossing teeth can result in improved health of one's teeth and gums. The rule statement (Floss your teeth) is an abbreviation for the connection of tooth-flossing activity and the outcome of good healthy teeth in the future. Children, particularly adolescents need extra sleep. The circadian rhythm shifts in the teenage years, causing teens to naturally fall asleep later and wake up later. Moreover, adolescents need extra sleep during their pubertal growth spurt. But, rather than encouraging our teens to score much-needed sleep (particularly their morning REM sleep), we force them to wake up early to attend middle and high school. In essence, our school schedules are intentionally savaging our teen's life-sustaining sleep. Things are even worse for student-athletes who have early morning practice.

Unfortunately, most teens can't make up this sleep deprivation by going to bed earlier because their brains are simply not programmed to go to sleep that early (even when they're sleep-deprived). Sleeping in on the weekends won't help either since extra shuteye one day can never really make up for lost sleep on a different day. When our teens are sleep-deprived, they're more moody and irritable. They're more impulsive and apt to make poor decisions. Having an empathic friend, colleague, or neighbor provide you with connection when you are feeling alone and discouraged can be a game-changer, lifting your spirits and helping you to reorganize your mental process to become more available to growth and overcoming challenges. If you are known as the person in your office or home life as the shoulder to cry on, then you might already know a thing or two about what it means to be the empath in your circle. Not all empaths choose this role, however, and this article aims to explain how there can be differences in the types of empaths. A major note of the difference between the natural empath and a generally empathic person is that your emotional openness can cause a lot of problems if you are not careful and readily available to honor your own feelings and emotions, as you practice your gift. You can easily get caught up in the drama of someone else's life if you are an empath, but you don't have to. There are aspects of empathy that can be difficult and even dangerous if you are not aware of what it means to be so emotionally open and available to all people. In order to get a better idea of how empathy works vs. what being an empath is, here is an example to differentiate between the two: You are at an office party and your coworker, Sally, hasn't said anything to anyone. She is just standing there quietly, sipping her drink and listening to everyone's conversation. Choose two people that you know reasonably well: Spend five minutes looking at a picture of each. From the picture alone (and this is hard if you know them well) what traits would you attribute to them? Try to be aware of your thought process in making your decisions. Then consider the way that others you know treat the two people. Make a quick list.