Emotional mastery is not as hard as it might seem. It is simply a way to help you respond well to any emotion that you may have, whether it is coming from your own experience, or whether you are absorbing another person's feelings because of your highly empathic nature. Emotional intelligence is something we should all be taught in our youth so that we have the best tools to use as adults to help us thrive and enjoy life's highs and lows, without falling into dark depressions, or serious worry. You can learn to master your emotions and gain more emotional intelligence with the following formula: identify, appreciate, understand, awareness, action, and gratitude. Does it seem too simple? That's because it is easier than you, or others, may have led you to believe. There are no secret tricks, just your ability to understand this formula and all it takes is a few moments of practice, and you are on your way to being in charge of your feelings and always available to understanding others as well. Let's break down each component of the emotional mastery formula so that you can see how to engage with each process effectively and efficiently. When working with a team, the team has each other to bounce ideas off of. Even if the idea isn't a great one, it still may spark a better one from someone else. It gives shy employees a chance to be heard and will provide them with the confidence to speak up. It also creates enthusiasm within the group because ideas are being shared, and discoveries are being made. Learning is vital, but learning in a group promotes teamwork, creativity, and builds trust among employees. He divided the students up into four groups. Gave each group a different problem to solve. The groups of kids or teams had to work together to figure out the answer, and they couldn't cheat by asking another group the answer. The students had to rely on each other to figure out the solution. By putting their knowledge and understanding of the problem together, they could come up with the correct answer. I--I know I told you--and the group--about my brother's friend trying to rape me in our pool. Her mouth formed a disgusted grimace.

I. I think I never told anyone about Tio Tomas because I kinda figured--she shrugged--ya know, that's what men do. Even though I'm 34 years old now, Tio Tomas still says nasty stuff to me and stares at my. Unable to say the word to her therapist, Felicia blushed deeply as she pointed to her breasts. As the session began to wind down, Dr Matt praised, Boy howdy, child, you are a brave one. You carried all that around for so long, and now, you had the courage to tell about it. Your strength is amazing, and I'm not the only one who sees it. Do you remember what Darrell said in Group last week? Emotions can come up out of nowhere sometimes, and you might not have any clue why you are all of a sudden feeling sad, or unhappy. Likewise, you can be very clear about where your emotions are coming from, based on whatever experience you are having that might be triggering you to feel a certain way. The key thing to do at the moment you are feeling your emotions is to identify them. This is an incredibly important first step. It is how you begin to learn how to master your emotions and develop emotional intelligence. You have to know why you are sad, angry, frustrated, melancholy so that you can know what to do about it. Let's use a general example, not specific to the empath, but to any emotional experience, in which you are fighting with your partner, and you start to feel your emotions shift from feeling like you have a diplomatic argument, to a fight that involves more intense feelings. You begin to feel like your temperature is rising, or your blood is boiling, as you try to defend your point of view against this counterpoint from your partner. At this moment, you have an emotion, and what you have to IDENTIFY is what the emotion is and why it is happening right now. In this case, it might feel like an impossible moment to try and process your feelings, but that is just what emotional mastery is all about: learning how to understand your emotions well so that they don't get out of hand, to begin with. They would have to work together in order to create the right solution. One common goal but different ideas on how to get the answer.

Personal mastery is the practice of improving oneself. In order for a person to understand oneself, they have to be willing to explore and look within to find the true self. Not the self, everyone else wants them to be but, who they really are deep down inside. Personal development is a perfect way to start to understand the mental models you have about yourself. How some mental models are not serving you and knowing you can change them? Personal development doesn't mean you are broken and need to be fixed. Personal development is a tool to help you understand yourself better. A way to improve yourself in order to get the life you want. That tough man--someone who's been to prison and managed to rebuild his life--recognizes the powerhouse that you are. He was right when he said you are stronger than you realize, and you may need that strength yet, kiddo. Your story tells me that the abuse that happened to you hasn't really stopped. It's just taken another form. But don't worry, there are a number of ways to stop it and still be a member of your family, okay? For now, I'd like you to take this article home and try reading it. We'll talk more about it when we meet next week. Dr Matt handed her a small paperback article: Chinese Handcuffs by Chris Crutcher. It's not surprising that Felicia reacted the way she did with respect to not telling anyone about the sexual assault in the pool that occurred when she was a freshman in high school. By that time, Felicia already had inflexible expectations about males. It is amazing how pausing for a second to reflect can shift the dynamic of the fight. You might suggest that you both take a moment to breathe while you collect your thoughts so that you can work to identify your feelings.

This is where you get to use your intuition as your guide. Steps to Identifying Your Emotion What are you feeling? You are angry. Why are you angry? You are in a fight with someone. Why are you in a fight with someone? Because they are challenging your words and how you are expressing yourself? Personal development can be mediation, articles, podcasts, classes, yoga, anything that will enhance your life in a fulfilling way. Creating the life, you want takes time and lessons have to be learned. Focus and intent will help you through. Personal mastery means different things to different people, and there are many ways to reach this level. Take responsibility for your victories and failures. You make the choices, and you have to deal with the consequences of those choices. Changing the beliefs and mental models you have of yourself and learning to construct ones that will serve you better is a big step in becoming the person you want to be. Not everyone will like the changes you will be making to get to the goals you have set for yourself. Learning to deal with others and still be true to yourself is a challenge at times. But, understand the changes in yourself will make you proud. She had learned to hide from these creatures. Almost immediately after unloading her story to Dr Matt, Felicia felt a surge in confidence and pride about being so open and brave, and because of that, Felicia's self-efficacy was on the rise.

While disclosing her uncle's actions helped her believe that she was more able to be honest about her life, only Dr Matt knew how extensive the next challenge was going to be for this family-loving young woman. For now, however, he let her bask in the confidence that comes after one has acted that bravely. How Self-Efficacy Relates to Trauma Recovery You will recall that the essence of PTSD is being stuck in an unhealthy balance between avoidance behavior and approach behavior. The victim is experiencing so much unpleasantry while having lost touch with his/her value system that life drifts into a minute-to-minute struggle of barely managing to avoid or escape the misery of flashbacks, shame, dread, and hyper-arousal. At the same time, the factors of life that are considered important to the person are diminished and/or lost completely. Passion and purpose are replaced by avoidance and escape. In order to reclaim the balance between avoiding the negative symptoms of PTSD and establishing purpose and meaning in life, the victim must improve the level of honesty with which the traumatic events are viewed. Why are they challenging your words and how you are expressing yourself? Because I feel threatened and unable to express myself, and it makes me feel angry. It is a way for you to appreciate what is happening at the moment so that you can help yourself and your partner to resolve your experience. Identifying your emotional experiences are what help you grow. If you can take a step back and truly consider what it is that you are feeling, then you can learn how to make accurate and healthy processes for working through the more challenging aspects of any emotional experience. It is as simple as doing a quick check in to honor what you are going through. The key is to try and identify your emotion as it begins to occur so that you are not dealing with it days later. ability to identify how you are feeling in the moment is what helps you to practice being a secure and grounded individual. The next step in the formula will help you respond well to what you are identifying. Your emotions are valid, and there is a reason that they are coming up. You will continue to learn to up your game to continue to be the person you have always wanted to be. Personal mastery is the ability to be comfortable with who you are.