I had an active lifestyle in sports and could pursue anything that my heart desires. So, whenever I read lessons given by Dr Jordan Peterson in 12 Rules for Life or in Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People, it intuitively makes sense. To those who didn't have the blessings I had? They're just learning these lessons for the first time. Most people were not given a great deck of cards to begin with. Most people aren't living awesome, thriving lives. That's the problem. The whole environment is in the pits, scraping by! And if he did, of course he would tell me. But being tested is necessary and will relieve or confirm any thoughts about possible exposure. My first exposure to a STD was pretty significant, as it threatened the welfare of our unborn child. I was having herpes outbreaks during my pregnancy and we had a serious talk about a caesarean section to deliver the baby safely. I had never had herpes until after I had been with my husband for a few years. I told myself it couldn't be from him, but I also knew I had not been exposed to anyone else. When I became aware of the extent of his acting out, I don't know if I felt more anger about anything other than the fact that he would thoughtlessly risk my health and even my life with unsafe sex. How could he do that to anyone, especially me, his wife? Today I get that he just didn't think about that and that it is a part of the addiction. In spite of being terrified, I did not get tested because I had a life insurance physical exam coming up and knew there would be some blood work that would verify if I had HIV or another sexually transmitted disease. He said he couldn't believe he was wrestling again. He didn't think he would ever get back to it.

How We Become at Risk for Illness Many of the illnesses we see in our practices are due to a disruption in balance. In this article, we are going to explore what has happened to illness over the decades. Heart disease, stroke, and cancer are the top killers of men and women around the world. We also see more Alzheimer's disease, more autoimmune disease, and more osteoarthritis than in years past. Over the decades, we have also seen individuals in our communities become more sedentary and gain more weight. Food preparation has shifted away from fresh food and cooking daily to ordering fast food and microwaving precooked or preprepared meals. Foods are filled with preservatives to increase their shelf life. Maybe that's why people feel so inclined to continue to write motivational self-help articles. They think the previous ones didn't work. But, this isn't it at all! The environment we interact with on a daily basis makes a huge difference! With an uplifting environment, correct resources, watchful guides and helpful mentors, we are constantly affirmed with what needs to take place to improve our lives. Because most of our fathers and mothers didn't listen when these wise counselors gave instruction, the resources didn't make a difference with them. They chose to be apathetic, which causes new generations to continually feel like they need to find the answers. That's why people like Mark (our fictional character from earlier) will pay big ticket prices to go listen to Dr Peterson in person. That's why desperate business owners are paying bigger ticket prices to just get the actual answers to success. That's why you find tens of thousands of people listening to folks like Tony Robbins. Even after the exam, as scared as I was awaiting the results, I was so ashamed I couldn't talk to anyone about it. I discovered during my husband's disclosure that his way of reassuring himself that he was safe was by donating blood, because part of the blood donation screening process is testing for HIV.

How could he be so careless with his and my safety? To stoop to those bizarre levels of justification and denial around what he was doing to us was incomprehensible to me. Again, being tested is an act of self-care. You don't have to explain your circumstances to anybody, not the nurse, not the doctor. Just tell the physician you have a need to be checked for all sexually transmitted diseases. BEING SEXUAL AFTER DISCLOSURE How can you be sexual with your partner who has betrayed you? If you are not sexual with him, are you giving him justification to act out again? Our jobs have become more sedentary. As a society, we work more and drive home in cars instead of walking. With these changes, we are fatter than ever before in history, with more than two of every three adults overweight or obese. Let's talk for a moment about these illnesses in more detail. Having diabetes puts us at significant risk for heart disease. We often find that people don't understand why diabetes is dangerous. When we discuss diabetes in this article, we are primarily talking about type 2 diabetes, which is associated with obesity and insulin resistance. In order to understand diabetes, you have to understand the role of the pancreas. The pancreas is an organ in our bodies that makes the hormone insulin. The pancreas's job is to bring glucose into cells to build fat stores for later energy use. They go to find their purpose and discover what it takes to motivate themselves to success. That's why people are going to various religious beliefs to discover a deeper meaning in life.

We're all trying so hard to find a good group to do life with. The resources are available and have been available! So, why can't we buy into the message? What's keeping most of us from actually seeing the change take place? It's our environment, people. Again, Show me your friends and I'll show you your future. Who do you hang out with? Who is dragging you down? If you are sexual with him, are you crazy to even want to be with him? These are normal and expected questions at this stage. There is a lot of emotional intensity attached to these concerns. First, you are not giving him justification to act out if you do not want to be sexual right now. If he is serious about wanting a healthy relationship with you, he will honor this boundary. Remember, addicts use whatever they can to justify their behavior. It is not your responsibility to control him. If you find yourself wanting to be sexual after hearing the disclosure and that surprises you, know that for some people this desire to be sexual is a form of validation that they are still desirable. For him, sex is the answer to most things, and his desire for sex with you may be to garner assurance that you still love him and won't leave him. The consuming desire to be sexual by either of you in the face of crisis, often referred to as the honeymoon effect, is an attempt to reaffirm that all will be okay. There are receptors on the pancreas for the insulin hormone. These receptors are like entry cards to get into cells.

In the case of obesity or excess fat, there can be masking of the receptors on the cells, and the insulin hormone is not able to attach to these receptors. This is called insulin resistance. Without entry into cells, insulin isn't effective and doesn't get turned into fat. As a result, more sugar is floating around in the bloodstream. Some people might see that as positive and say, If I can eat and not have it turn to fat, that's a good thing, right? Unfortunately, no. The problem is that floating sugars are extremely inflammatory, so as they circulate through the body, they irritate your blood vessels. They cause fissures in the blood vessels of the heart and cause scabs or plaque to form. Who constantly gets you into trouble? Who makes your life fun for a little bit, but an overall living hell? And, if your environment sucks, then how do you actually improve it for good? In most cases, it takes an extreme environment that's dramatically different from your current world to cause the sudden shift. It takes years of stressful discomfort to enforce the good character traits you always wanted. It takes a shock to your system. Great Environments Provide a Painful Shockwave of Positive Change There's a middle school that started in the South Bronx of New York City called the KIPP School, the Knowledge is Power Program. The school was designed to be the saving grace for minority children in environments of poverty. Only 16% of the kids in the South Bronx education system perform at or above their appropriate grade level in math. Unfortunately, it only offers a temporary and false sense of security, an illusion of safety. This doesn't mean that the relationship isn't going to work.