Your truth. I personally think you should keep an eye fixed on the future, too. A planned future. The direction you are going in. Because when you do that, it provides a reward for doing something now. A reason to carry out even mundane tasks with vigour. A reason to jump out of bed in the morning with passion. To be able to start the day and continue it with a smile on your face. This is defined by your purpose. There really is no great secret to finding out your purpose. You actually have a built-in radar system to tell you. Emotions/feelings. If it feels right. Feels right? If yes, then you are working on your purpose. Doing what you love. What makes you feel good brings you into the now. Rituals are also very nurturing and grounding for our spirits in daily life. We are by nature creatures of habit and we love being in rhythm. It might be a visit to your local cafe to order your usual favourite.

It might be taking up the same table at your favourite restaurant. It might be writing in your diary upon waking or tucking into bed at night, recording your dreams, thoughts and ideas or the events of the day. It might be cuddling your pet or kissing your beloved before saying goodnight. It might be taking a certain walk with a friend or family member each week, savouring movement with meaningful conversation. Whatever rituals you thoughtfully create in your daily life, allow them to nourish your spirit with delight, comfort and joy. There are so many simple and daily ways to nurture our inner sparkle. Making time to rest and relax, taking time to breathe, or practising affirmations and visualisations to soothe and energise ourselves are wonderful remedies for our spirits. Giving ourselves permission to mix good doses of fun into the more routine aspects of our daily lives is an effective and pleasurable approach to expanding our joy. Living attuned to the gifts of our senses - what we see, touch, hear, smell and taste in the world around us moment to moment - invites great pleasure and inspiration, allowing us to feel our inner sparkle and returning us to the magic and potential of now. As a result of nurturing our spirits we feel brighter about ourselves and life. We naturally boost our immune systems, elevate our moods, care for the health of our hearts, touch all our cells with the healing powers of love, and become happier, healthier people. There is no positive act too small or simple when it comes to nurturing our spirits and embracing the magic of our lives. We can begin with one grateful thought a day. One smile. One prayer. One random act of kindness. How about starting small. Take a short walk outside and see if you don't feel better when you get home. You probably will. That small effort may jog your memory.

Think back on the times when you were more active. No doubt it felt good, especially if you were trimmer and stronger as a result. But even if you've never been active a day in your life (that you can remember), imagine what it could feel like in the future. Visualize feeling lighter and more energetic. Maybe you're playing outdoors with your children, or hiking in the mountains, or on vacation, walking around a new city. You've doing it with vigor and no pain, and it's immensely enjoyable. Keep these images in your head. They're going to inspire you now--and help you stay inspired, too. Still, past experiences have the potential to put you off exercise. Let's amend that: past negative experiences. So if you're worried that you might return to your old patterns of stopping and starting exercise, approach it differently than you have before. Choose a different activity, a different time of day, a different place. Enlist a workout buddy. Be creative and flexible so that you're able to create a new pattern--one that you enjoy. Rules often reside in what you were taught or what you decided for yourself is what you have to do to be okay. These include your emotional survival strategies. For example, you may have learned spoken rules such as, "You have to brush your teeth twice a day," and, "You have to be nice to your brother." Other rules were never uttered but rather "understood." One in my family was: "It's not okay to openly express anger." No one ever told me that precisely, but no one ever got mad at home. And if you did, you were sent to your room "until you can act nicely." I heard one argument between my mom and dad when I was about seven and was certain they were divorcing. Your culture, your religion, your school environment--these are other places where you developed your beliefs and the rules that emerged from them. Beliefs about what you're supposed to do as a man or a woman, what rules you need to follow because of cultural mores--all of that can be explored.

And remember, some of those beliefs and rules were positive and helpful. Your job here is to uncover the ones that are creating your perfectionism, the intense pressure and loneliness of your life, and your denial of emotional pain. As I said earlier, in the span of your life, not every moment can be recalled and singled out. Nevertheless, just as with me, there have been events, moments, in your life that have defined and redefined who you are. The event enters your consciousness with such power that it confronts the very core of who and what you conceived you were. It is no exaggeration to say that, before such an event occurs, your self-concept is A; after it occurs, your self-concept is B. A part of you is replaced or modified by that piece of your history, something new that will always be with you. You will forever after define yourself, to some degree, by your experience of that event. It is those events, those moments in the time of your life, that we must now identify and evaluate. Assuming you are forty years old today, you have lived a total of 14,610 days. You probably cannot separately distinguish in your mind 14,600 of those days, but ten of them you can and already have. These moments, on those particular days, stand out for you, the same way that a house stands out from the background in a painting. A renowned psychologist named Alfred Adler observed this tendency we have to form mental pictures of ourselves based on our history. He noticed that our minds condense all of our experiences around those happenings that are most important. One of Dr. Adler's favorite techniques was to ask the patient what their earliest recollection was. However the patient responded, Adler would complete the patient's description by saying, "And so life is." His point was that this relatively small portion of the patient's life was critical to their present perception of self. It was his belief that those recollections were at the core of each person's personal truth. He was right. When the radar is bleeping boredom, anger, apathy, complacency - then you are off your purpose.

The feeling `good' brings us into the now. Other emotions take us into the past, as depression does, or into the future, which is what anxiety can do. Who would I want to employ as a cleaner? A person with OCD? Or are they more suited to a job where absolute obsessive precision is required? A phobia of spiders is not a healthy behaviour, but a complete disregard of the potential danger is stupid, too. The quiet of a mind. Your mind is where you can find a different point of view. A different behaviour. And in that differing point of view you find the feelings change. You have control to decide which way to take your emotions. (Remember to think back to the tool of putting your tongue behind your teeth.) Have you ever listened to two political opponents? Remind you of someone? The two opposing parts of your mind. Strong belief sets and behaviours, versus desires. Fears pitted against desires. A past negative experience versus desires. Disney captured it well in the famous Goofy cartoon with him driving around, an Angel Goofy on one shoulder and a Devil Goofy on the other. Visualize yourself lighter and able to move more freely. Imagine being strong enough to lift boxes and groceries with minimal effort.