In these and other ways, the child is told that he is a person deemed worthy of respectful treatment. It is perhaps unnecessary to add that the therapist's attitude must be genuine. The therapist goes further. He attempts to provide a relationship of warmth and understanding, in which the child may feel safe enough to relax his defenses long enough to see how it feels to operate without them. And keep a steady course, feeling grateful for the ups, downs, and the bends in the river. Remember to keep your spending plan in a place of honor. You may want to adjust your spending plan after the first month or two. Really look at how you are spending and where. Consider whether your discomfort is short term and will dissipate as you stay with your new plan, or if you missed something and really need to shift your pattern of spending. In the beginning, all people experience some discomfort as they shift into new ways of living. And then things smooth out and ease returns. The longer you are steady at the helm, the more ease you will experience. Eventually you will have money left over at the end of the month. Then you can gradually increase your contributions to your dream and ease funds. With practice, you will begin to rewire the intricate network of your miles of living nerves. By learning how to restructure the attitudes that may be unhelpful in your journey toward resilience, you will have a greater control over your body and mind. Let's begin. It's essential to have a feeling of readiness in order for this to succeed. These attitudes could be anxiety, sadness, despair, depression, self-judgment, guilt, anger, or feeling overwhelmed. Anything that feels distressing and disturbing to you is fair game for change.

For example, if the attitude/feeling that you are ready to change is anxiety, you'll be breathing a feeling or statement of calm and balance. The breath is slow and purposeful through the heart, with kindness and care. It may take 10 to 15 times breathing this attitude in and out through your heart for you to feel a difference. Allow the attitude to be neutral, rather than fired up and filled with history and negativity. The safety of the therapy hour seems to lie in the absence of pressure. The therapist accepts the child exactly as he is at the moment, and does not try to mold him into some socially-approved form. The therapist makes no attempt to respond to the child of the last contact, but confines himself to feelings currently expressed. By this means, it is hoped to heighten the child's awareness of what he is at the moment. The thrill that sometimes comes with this is vividly illustrated in an excerpt from a case reported by Axline. Three boys, aged eight, were experiencing group-therapy sessions. During the eighth interview, Herby suddenly asked the therapist, Do you have to do this? Or do you like to do this? Then he added, I wouldn't know how to do this. Ronny asked, What do you mean? Long-term Abundance Everyone wants to take a vacation eventually. It's also very important to plan ahead and look at what you desire your long-term future to be like. Having abundance for your future, both short- and long-term, and taking steps in alignment with your deepest longings, is the focus of this section. Here your basic patterns, your financial persona, and your stance on the Sticky Triangle come into play. Creating abundance for your future actually can be a fun game rather than some awful task.

What if you realized you could make a major shift in your sense of abundance by enjoying this process? As a young accountant, Larry shared, I just wanted to get on with the task of creating a cash flow projection for my own family and prepare for retirement. I knew it was an important thing to do. I had tried several times to include my wife, but our young children's immediate needs always interrupted any time I set aside for this. REPLACEMENT ATTITUDES As you move through this exercise, you may experience unwanted feelings. Below are some techniques to help you work through those emotions. Stress: Breathe in a feeling of neutrality, letting go, chilling out. Anxiety: Breathe in calm and balance. Overwhelmed: Breathe in and mentally say, I am safe, I am healing, everything is going to be okay. Depression: Breathe in calm and peace. Guilt: Breathe in compassion and nonjudgment. Feeling the victim: Breathe in gratitude and surrender. Focused Heart Breathing That's all. You just play. And Owen agreed with Ronny. Why, sure you do, he said. But Herby continued the discussion. I mean I wouldn't know how to do what she does.

She doesn't seem to do anything. Only all of a sudden, I'm free. Inside me, I'm free. I'm wonderful and I'm terrible. Making the process fun and beginning with our deepest heart longings was a new concept. I suddenly realized that we could take a weekend holiday without our children and have some fun and some focused time. The suggestion of talking after we had taken a walk or gone skiing was what did the trick for me. After some fun it was easy for my heart to open and hear what my partner desired. I then realized we were already a team with the same big goal, so the plan flowed together very quickly that weekend. For many people, the future is so far away that they never focus on it until it looms up in front of them. Yet you can begin creating a future of abundance with an open heart today. Now take a deep breath and step forward in time. What do you really want in the year to come? What are the dreams that seem impossible because they're so far in the future? Good for: chronic pain, headaches, nerve pain, stress relief This exercise will teach you how to access the power of positive emotions through a heart-centered breathing approach. It's important to practice this exercise on a regular basis in order to retrain your brain toward happiness, peace, and joy. Negative thoughts are automatic, but positive thoughts have to be learned and installed in order to become unconscious. Before you do the following exercise, think of a memory or recall a place that brings you joy, happiness, pride, or peace. These are the emotions that allow for chemical changes in the brain that are activated by your breath and create shifts within your physical, mental, and emotional system.

When you are stressed or in pain, these thoughts aren't easily accessed, so it's important to practice them ahead of time so you can access them on the fly. If you can't think of something pleasant, a neutral phrase such as inner peace or I am safe works just as well. Let's begin. Embrace that feeling to the best of your ability as you begin to breathe in and out of your heart. I'm a dope and I'm so smart. I'm two, four, six, eight, ten people, and I fight and I kill! The therapist said to Herby, You're all kinds of people rolled up in one. Ronny added, And you stink, too. Herby glared at Ronny, and replied, I stink and you stink. Why, I'll mess you up. The therapist continued to speak to Herby -- You're all kinds of people in here. You're wonderful and you're terrible and you're dopey and you're smart. Herby interrupted exultantly, I'm good and I'm bad and still I'm Herby. I tell you I'm wonderful. Write them down in your Travel Log! Say them out loud every day so the universe can hear you, so you can hear yourself and feel the energy of your desires. The goal is to vibrate in harmony with positive emotion so the two realities can begin to move toward each other. Add vacation to your spending plan. Begin contributing a dollar to that fund. Feel grateful that the energy is moving.