How worthless, how weak, how vanquished, how hollow it is to have a parent who exists but cannot reach, who says but will not be, who thinks but doesn't dare, who plays and plays and plays, but only, always, forever in the minor key. We sing the song of parenthood in only the major notes. Were you there? Did you love full-throttle? Did you fix it after you fucked it up? The most powerful people are those with the most influence. A leader is someone who has followers and is influential over them. Leadership inspires others to say things like: I'd follow him anywhere, She lives her message, and He's not afraid to do the hard work and lead by example. In my seminars I use the following example: I take a $1 bill out of one pocket and say, Somebody comes to you and this $1 bill represents her current skill set. Pulling out a $100 bill from my other pocket I'd say, Your job as a leader is to take that $1 and turn it into $100, where it's profitable not only for your organization but also for the other person by helping her further develop her talents and skill set. Then she is able to help someone else in that same regard. Values and Voice Leadership is also about finding your internal voice in terms of values. What do you stand for? What relationships do you value? I ask you not to judge. I ask you to try these ideas and see for yourself. Ultimately, every person has to decide for themselves what to do. You can accept or reject ideas. Actively read this article: Be open to my way of living, but don't consider it the only truth.

As you're reading this article, engage in a discussion. You can do that with yourself, inside your head, or in your journal. You can do that with me on social media. You can also bring up the topics in this article with the people in your life. I propose this way of reading because it's effective. We are doing everything right. We are giving so much. Why don't they fall at our feet in adoration and gratitude? And how is it that they can actually appear hostile and annoyed with us at times in the face of our incomparable generosity? We are actually smothering them like this, and it becomes a vicious cycle. They lash out in frustration, which makes us do more, and makes them feel more smothered. They say they can't breathe, and we don't understand. They resent our unending attention and we resent their lack of appreciation. I have been at both ends of this game, and neither one is particularly satisfying or fun. One of the most difficult concepts to understand and integrate is that love is letting go. The second tube contained a camera, which was inserted through my nose into my throat. It revealed that my speaking muscles weren't functioning in symmetry. The right side would work, while the left side didn't. To treat these conditions, my speech therapist gave me exercises to rebuild my vocal cord muscles. To maintain the progress I worked so hard to achieve, I continue them to this day, practicing for 15 minutes most mornings.

When I skip them--I'm human! When those muscles are weak, it also causes issues with swallowing. People who were unaware of my diagnosis when they first met me report they would never have known I had MS by simply talking with me, and that's a welcome reward for all of the hard work and effort I have devoted to speech therapy. Managing Cognitive Symptoms Current research indicates that of those MS patients who are affected by cognitive changes, only about 5 to 10 percent suffer moderate to severe impairment--which sounds like good news. I believe that the recognition and recovery of the subtle body is a prerequisite if we are to move forward with the development of a new approach to healing. When you receive an acupuncture treatment, consult a trained astrologer, take flower essences, or attend a yoga class, you are touched and moved in a way that exists outside the parameters of what can be proven, measured, or analyzed. These modalities work on a part of you that is not purely physical. For example, a good yoga teacher will emphasize that the benefit of pigeon pose is not just the deep stretch it offers to the external rotators of your hip but also the opening it creates for you to stretch into a deeper knowing that you can let go and trust. The challenge of the asana invites you into a relationship with your own assumptions and resistances as well as your strengths. As you hold the pose, you learn to quiet your mind and listen more closely to the underlying stream of energy moving through you. While any yoga class will exercise your physical body in obvious ways, a really satisfying class will touch something that results in you leaving in a profoundly different mental/emotional state than when you went in. Of course, this sense of well-being is reflected in measurable changes to your physical body, including shifts in heart rate, hormone levels, and brain wave patterns. But an alchemist would say that through the postures, the breathing practices, the visualizations, and the chanting, you went through a process of inner transformation. The yogi would say that you balanced your chakras and moved your prana. Afterwards, as we stood outside taking pictures in the golden light of sunset, a tiny flicker of hope struck me: just as the sun sets and puts the day to bed, perhaps our wedding would put all my struggles to bed. Maybe there was a chance for me after all Overall, the day was truly a gracious gift from God. Even in the middle of the mess that came from my sin, He loved and blessed me. As we drove away from the church to spend the first night of married life in our newly rented, tiny 500-square-foot apartment, we looked at one another and said, We did it!

We are finally married! It was a total relief. Newlywed Bliss Following a delightful, relaxing honeymoon adventure to Mexico, we returned home and jumped back into life full throttle. I was entering my senior year in college and on track to graduate in three years (one year ahead of schedule). Ask your therapist for information and insight about what to expect. Practice with him or her for upcoming interactions. Ask your friends for moral support, and even request them to be present during your contacts with the narcissist. Allow family to encourage and support you through these times. Always aim to keep yourself calm, centered, and protected whenever you have to be around the narcissist. However, as Jean McBride says in her article Talking to Children About Divorce, remember, your children should not be your allies. Their relationship with the other parent is entirely different from your relationship with him or her. Also, don't try to control your children's feelings. Choose adult allies who understand your dilemma and are helpful in supporting your self-esteem and self-confidence. Say No and Mean It Cultivate an understanding that life is long, that people both change and remain the same, that every last one of us will need to fuck up and be forgiven, that we're all just walking and walking and walking and trying to find our way, that all roads lead eventually to the mountaintop. Put yourself in the way of beauty. Bravery is acknowledging your Most people don't cheat because they're cheaters. They cheat because they're people.

They are driven by hunger or for the experience of someone being hungry once more for them. They find themselves in friendships that take an unintended turn or they seek them out because they're horny or drunk or damaged from all the stuff they didn't get when they were kids. There is love. There is lust. There is opportunity. What is your internal guide system for making decisions? What is your moral compass? Before you begin working for an organization, examine your values. That way, if something comes up in your personal life or at work that conflict with your values, you can make a decision and stand by it. If not, circumstances can become very tricky. For example, the owner of a printing company told me a story about a gentleman I'll call Mike. Mike accepted the position of general manager at that company. Mike was a Christian and deeply rooted in his beliefs. Jobs came in to print girls in skimpy bathing suits and scantily clad clothes, and he was having a real disconnect with this. Instead of talking to the company owner and saying, This is really not the position for me; It will help you get the most out of your time. I can't guarantee you will be free within four years. But if you're committed to freedom, you will achieve it one day. What You Can Expect Part I of this article is about awareness.