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Being in either the future or the past allows those in the throes of anxiety to stay out of the present moment, which would necessitate them to come into their body. That is why I encouraged Anna to observe. I wanted her to practice being here and now, even if here and now felt uncomfortable. I think I get it. You mean I have to be ready for what's coming. Solomon nodded slowly. Then how do I prepare for something when I don't know what it is or when it will happen? Seek wisdom, the king said simply. Michael had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. Okay, I know I'm not stupid, but I'm not catching on here. How do I seek wisdom? The answer I have for you will not help your frustrations with me, the king replied and then paused. My answer is to seek wisdom. For starters, it is good to note that it is not possible to defend yourself from a manipulative individual. The best thing that you can do in this case is to make sure that you have first identified that the individual is indeed manipulative. If they happen to showcase that they are deceptive, you should ensure that you have kept a safe distance from these individuals. If they are not deceptive, you can continue being friends. It is also good to note that some people may mislead others by spreading false information. For example, you may come across some people talking about how manipulative a certain person is. Never issue the manipulative person a warning.

You should just leave and continue leading your life as usual. After leaving them, they will look for other individuals who they can manipulate into ensuring that they have heeded to their demands. If a person is unwell, you should go ahead and try to find out more about their condition. Anna and I spent a lot of time discussing how she felt, knowing that she wasn't doing all of the things she felt compelled to do. My stomach is rumbling, she would tell me, or I feel tightness in my chest. From there it was a matter of staying with that feeling. I would ask Anna to put her hand on her chest and accept and hold space for that anxiety. Not only does observation help to connect a person with their body, but it also tends to slow things down. Anna began to realize that she could feel anxious and move through that anxiety without having to act upon it. It was from this point that she started to gain the ability to mobilize without fear. She was able to act more slowly and methodically, without a constant feeling of frenzy. She even came to the realization that no one--including herself--was going to die if she didn't get something done. This allowed Anna to become more fluid, embodied, and tolerant. Michael couldn't believe what he was hearing. Even the wisest king in all of history talks in circles just like every other adult, he thought. As if the king had heard Michael's thoughts, he spoke, Michael, you have a condition common to most people. You hear, but you do not listen. Seek wisdom. Seek wisdom. Wisdom waits to be gathered.

She cannot be bought or sold. She is a gift for those who don't give up, and only those who truly look will find her. The lazy man--the stupid man--never even looks. Since some people do lie, you can also go ahead and seek some expert advice from a psychologist or even a psychiatrist. If the person is unwell and they do not showcase any signs of improving, you can move on and continue living your life as usual. If the manipulative individual is related to you, you should always be direct with them. Ensure that you have set some boundaries an always be firm such that they cannot dare to cross the set boundaries. Manipulative individuals will realize that they will be held once they tend to showcase undesirable behaviors. The manner in which such people behave towards you will also determine the manner in which you will interact with them. If they understand some of the rules that you have set, they will be okay with that, and they will not intrude in any way. Also, ensure that you have initiated a discussion with the manipulative individual while also trying to learn more about their character and condition. Ensure that you have not lectured them in any way. Always ask questions that will help you to learn more about how they are. With all of this, the anxiety didn't completely diminish, but it did begin to lose its charge. With lower levels of anxiety, Anna had more tolerance for the inherent unpredictabilities of life. This allowed her to be more present with her children, as well as less agitated by them. She got to the point where she could even be playful with them. She also started to establish a stronger connection with her husband, and they can now more easily work through issues when they arise because Anna is able to articulate her experience in a way that she couldn't do before. The same can be said for all of her relationships, actually. Today, Anna has real and far more meaningful connections with her friends than she ever did before, because she is able to set better boundaries by vocalizing what does and doesn't work for her as opposed to simply going into fight or flight mode.

She is able to remain socially engaged, even when her nervous system is activated. Perhaps most important of all (and at the root of all of this), is the fact that Anna has begun to develop a relationship with herself. She can be with herself and observe what is happening in her body and in her nervous system, and then put that experience into words. Wisdom is available to many but found by few. Seek wisdom. Find her, and you will find success and contentment. Well, Michael said, I certainly don't have success or happiness in my life right now. That is all in the past, Solomon noted. Even the present is constantly becoming the past--now . He snapped his fingers as he talked. The past will never change, but you can change the future by changing your actions today. It is really very simple. We are always changing. Never try to fix them, leave such matters to professionals such as psychiatrists or psychologists. Always ensure that you have issued them a referral to a renowned psychiatrist or any other medical practitioner who can deal with their condition accordingly. The manipulative individuals should also be issued the support that they need. Additionally, you should never interrupt a manipulative person whenever they are telling a story. Although some of the stories issued by the manipulative individuals will appear far-fetched, you should never judge them. According to them, their story is valid, although it may appear to be made up to some extent. Ensure that you have not told them any of your stories.

If anything goes wrong, they will always use the information that they have about you to fight back. Always remember that we never choose our family members; If any other people may appear to be toxic in your life, you should also avoid them. The Takeaway As with Anna, it's important for anyone dealing with anxiety to build up the tolerance necessary to slow things down and become their own observer. Breathwork helps with this a lot, because it calms the nervous system and brings us back into our body. It draws us directly into the present moment. This is huge when it comes to alleviating anxiety, which tends to cause us to hover above our bodies, almost as if we're not really there. We disconnect. As with any other variety of healing, overcoming anxiety requires that we have the desire and motivation to want to heal. If you are reading this article, I am guessing that you do have this desire. You likely feel uncomfortable with where you are and feel that something needs to shift. Acknowledging that you are tired of feeling the way you are feeling right now is the first step in all of this. We might as well guide the direction in which we change. How do I guide my direction? Michael asked. Solomon rose to his feet and began to walk around the room. Clasping his hands behind his back he said, Your parents--are they concerned about the types of friends you choose? Michael did roll his eyes this time. Why do your friends concern them?