Dr Totton believes that when you have trauma tucked inside, you can't just stop your mind from chattering and make it go blank. It often takes training and time to first learn how to relax, and then to go inward to notice your thoughts and emotions, and then finally to be able to let them go. How often do you feel triggered by intense anger? Unresolved trauma shortens our fuse, leaving us one comment, act, or thought away from losing our center and melting down. This is largely because our nervous system is so dysregulated that we cannot stay aligned with our inner peace. If the bodies within that light are filled with love and grace, she meets her true reflection. At the beginning of her journey, she and her digestive system exist in perfect harmony. Her instincts are in tune with the aroma of milk and she finds her first meal easily. As she feels the love, warmth, and pleasure from bonding with her nurturer, she looks forward to more of the same. As she learns the new act of consumption, she learns the act of disposal. As she notices the relief of both, she knows they must be healthy. She and comfort have been companions for a quite a while. Therefore, consumption and elimination feel like old friends. To be rid of useless thought is always satisfying regardless of where it happens or how it happens. As the infant notices the mobility of her body, she tries to grab for prizes within her grasp. While we instinctively prefer reversible decisions to irreversible ones, this flexibility often make us less happy in the long run. We'd rather be able to change our minds--return our new phone, switch our flight to a different day, reply maybe to an event. But it turns out, just like the students who could switch their pictures, we're less committed to choices we think we can reverse, and commitment is crucial for happiness. As we discussed earlier, once you commit to something, your brain starts the magical process of rationalization, convincing you that you made a good choice. You retroactively ascribe more positive traits to things you chose and more negative traits to things you didn't.

The students who had to choose a final photo committed to their picture right away, immediately launching the rationalization process. Those who had the chance to change their selection spent the week going back and forth, weighing the different options. This led to feelings of doubt, so that even when they stuck with their original photo, they felt less sure about it. When your brain accepts something and you move on, you aren't left agonizing over the decision. In other words, we want reversible decisions, but irrevocable ones make us happier in the long term. We're stressed out all the time. Throughout the world and for thousands of years, people have used this practice to calm their nervous system, quiet their mind, and lengthen their fuse. Gordon explained, it also helps balance our biochemistry. Meditation helps drop cortisol, which drops inflammatory cytokines, which reduces inflammation, which improves our sense of well-being. We often think of meditation as sitting cross-legged on a cushion on the floor and quieting our minds. This passive meditation aims to make the mind a still pond, without any ripples of thought or emotion. Instead of teaching passive meditation to his clients, Dr Totton uses active meditation, or guided imagery. Many of the experts we spoke to use this kind of meditation for their patients as well. With guided imagery, you go with your thoughts and any images that arise. Instead of reliving the experience, you watch it as if it's a movie and narrate to your therapist what you see, what's happening, where you are, who you're with, and what you're doing. This stimulation fascinates her for hours, as she explores texture, shape, size, and color in a world of curious objects. Soon, she is looking for new challenges. All of them represent growth. Are you encouraging her to feel joyful in each and every discovery? A child only has a distorted view of normal bodily functions if an authority figure around her has a distorted view first.

Being in human form is a miracle in matter. If the source of all that exists didn't believe that every function was necessary, every function wise, and every function important, it wouldn't exist. The newborn is delirious with joy to have entered the human game. When she is hungry, she is fed. When she is wet, she is changed. Keeping your ex around as a potential love interest turns your breakup into a changeable decision. Allow yourself to move on by making it an unchangeable one. So, did you slide into your ex's DMs last night? If you're still carrying a torch for them and secretly wondering if you'll get back together, try these Seven Simple Steps to Block 'Em Like It's Hot: Take a deep breath. Grab your phone. Delete their number. Block them. Block them on everything. Social media, email, your bed, etc If their mom or sister follows you, block them, too. Becoming the observer and seeing yourself and your emotions, thoughts, and experiences from a higher vantage point allows you to disconnect some of the intense, emotional charge around your trauma. Everyone can benefit from meditation, especially people who experienced childhood developmental traumas where our parents couldn't read or understand what we needed at that moment. Through guided meditation, we can go into our memory vault and repair what was broken. We can use our mind's eye to visualize ourselves asking for and receiving the care that we needed. We become our saviors giving to ourselves what our caregivers couldn't--for whatever reason that may have been.

Most of the experts we spoke with noted the benefits of meditating, and most teach their patients first how to relax, and then to meditate. But they also had a couple of cautionary flags. First, sometimes we can use meditation (or any spiritual practice) to bypass the trauma in our bodies. You can experience incredible awakenings, but if you have trauma stored in your body, it still needs releasing. Especially if you're wrestling with a Big T event, which tends to embed in the nervous system. When she is happy, she is praised. When she cries, she is comforted. As her every wish is fulfilled, the new game starts to feel like the old game. She believes she is still in heaven, just with a few more sensations to enjoy. If she continues to welcome this new state of being, her new dream becomes a part of the happiness she already knows as the beauty of her existence. In her mind, nothing has really changed; Why does she lose her conviction that her heaven on Earth is just another facet of the heaven she just left? She does because she hears a different opinion and she believes it. This concept that her body is not a holy receptacle of love is often introduced through parental misconceptions. Your baby considers her embodiment to be wondrous to behold and exciting to explore. Actually delete their number this time. I know you have it saved elsewhere. Burn your phone. Oh, and don't forget the payment app Venmo. Seeing your ex send Venmo money to some new fling for--Oh, God, is that an eggplant emoji?

Maybe this seems like too much. How harmful could it be to check their Instagram or Facearticle once in a while? Here's even more evidence from psychologists Tara Marshall and Ashley Mason. In one research paper, Marshall wrote that exposure to an ex-partner through Facearticle may obstruct the process of healing. Mason found that talking to an ex worsens your psychological health. If you're experiencing PTSD or working through an extreme event such as being in a war zone or car accident, being repeatedly abused as a child, or being assaulted or in a natural disaster, you may want to consider using meditation under the care of a trained therapist or professional. There's a chance meditation could make your trauma symptoms worse or retraumatize you. In Dr Totton's practice, if a patient is rewatching an intense experience, Dr Totton may say, Okay, put that event on the floor. Now I want you to imagine yourself getting taller all the way up to the clouds. Put your head in the clouds, so your shoulders expand from horizon to horizon. You're putting your feet all the way down to the center of the earth. Now from up there, and as big as you are now, look down at that traumatic event that happened. Through this exercise, Dr Totton helps his patients to change their perspective and perception of the event. This can transform how they feel and experience it in the future. Most people need the care and assistance from an objective observer. When she hears a different opinion, she gets confused. This discrepancy between her belief and your belief is usually around her tactile, oral, and rectal functions. Why wouldn't she be curious about this new toy called a body? Aren't you curious about new ideas that come into your life? This child has just entered a world of sight, sound, and texture.