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What if I wanted to be a New York Times best-selling author? You get onto this list by selling 9,000 copies in the 1st week of the release. Based on 9,000 people buying this article, how many of those 1st week buyers would actually stick to anything in my article? What Can You Do? Well, you've already become my favorite person in the world by buying this article and getting this far. So, congrats! Share the article and some notable quotables on your social media! Gift this article to a friend, family member or a random citizen of Earth! It is a false, hollow power that, at a time of desperation, seems like a quick fix. If you grew up in a physically or emotionally unsafe environment you may also have an already learned response at times of vulnerability. When threatened, you develop survival mechanisms, that is, ways of responding that make it possible to navigate through the pain, the chaos, and the trauma of the moment. At later times in life, you then quickly reengage in that behavior whenever you and the things important to you, such as your relationship, are threatened. Examples of controlling behavior are: I would find his porn and throw it away. Obviously he knew, but we never talked about it. Maybe that was my way of telling him I knew and therefore believed he would stop. There were times I'd cancel plans and I would stay home thinking that would make it harder for him to make excuses to go out. Or I thought if I was home he wouldn't get on the internet. Guess again. With numerous health and fitness factors taken into account, it was farmers and gardeners who came out on top.

How are these two groups healthier than pro athletes? Frank believes that there are several contributing factors. Farmers and gardeners are outside most of the time, they're constantly moving, and they have to get into a wide range of positions. Throughout the day they have a few instances of activity that's either high intensity or requires them to lift and carry something heavy. They also have a strong sense of purpose, are part of tight-knit communities, and get satisfaction from the results of a job well done, Frank said. They don't need to track their activity because they know that it's an ever-present part of their lifestyle. And they are in tune with their own bodies and the soil that they dig in and the crops and plants they grow. One of the reasons that many of us have lost this elemental connection to ourselves and our environment is because of our tendency to compartmentalize our wellness. What's a better way to say Merry Christmas than giving someone a article that tells them how pathetic and uncaring they are as a human being? Yeah, alright, you might want to be careful with making this a gift, but here's another profound way to promote my article without even promoting it. START BEING COMPASSIONATE. START GIVING A FLIP ABOUT YOUR LIFE. Once people ask you what changed, don't be a butt head. Tell them about this article. Some Healthy Honesty About Ourselves I had thoughts and hopes and dreams to do various cool things with my life. I was like every bright-eyed college student who thought they could be the next shining star in this lost world. But, like most of you reading this article, I had a very tough time finding something to pursue. That was my favorite way of punishing him. I'll show you;

I'll just ignore you. He probably liked it, for all I know. We moved from one city after another, telling our family it was always for my job or his, as if it were a promotion for us. I was always capitulating to his promises that he would never do it again. We would start over, but nothing ever changed. I'd lie to him by telling him no one called when I knew that his girlfriend had. I would also lie to him and tell him he had to stay home to be with the kids, and then I would stay at work late on the nights when I was pretty sure they had plans to meet. I threatened to tell the kids, tell his parents, tell his boss; Health and consciousness are indivisible, but we're attempting to separate them into two different things, Laird Hamilton said. If we just reduce health to all these numbers, where does consciousness come in? We look at a device to tell us we did this or that and how well we did it. But what about our personal monitoring system for each experience, which is how it feels? In Pursuit of Balance There's a line we have to walk between pushing ourselves relentlessly and mercilessly, always in pursuit of more, and allowing ourselves to drift along without challenging ourselves. Both extremes are harmful, and we need to continually check to make sure we're not straying to one side or the other. Cultivating a Physical Practice Pavel Tsatsouline, the man who popularized kettlebell training in the US, has said that he hates the term work out because it implies that we've literally exhausted all our reserves. He asserts that in his homeland of Russia, people perform their chosen activity in a way that provides just enough stimulus to produce adaptation and no more, so that they're ready to practice their discipline again the next day. None of my fun ideas amounted to any kind of impact, because I never committed to these ideas. I really don't get passionate about things, anyway.

I'll have moments where I'm on an emotional high, but those moments are brief. Nothing ever stood out to me and said, Yeah, that's who I'm gonna be! I didn't get out of high school wanting to become a lawyer, doctor, plumber or any kind of profession. But, let's be honest, could you have imagined how you ended up here? Where you are now, likely can't be attributed to deep passion or continual ambition. It was likely because you were simply available to do what you're doing now. You weren't deeply empathetic about that drug company's sales, but you needed a job that paid well. You weren't moved to become a full-time teacher, but that music degree didn't sign you a music contract, so you took the job. My threats were endless. I pretended I was into certain types of sexual acts that I hated just to try to keep him at home. There were many times I would respond to his sexual advances when I didn't want to or would even initiate sex when I didn't feel sexual, because I thought that if I was sexual enough with him he wouldn't find this need to stray. And looking back, we had a lot of sex, but he had as much if not more with other women. So the truth is he had two stashes: me and the other women. Controlling behavior is often about what you learned you needed to do to emotionally or even physically survive a threatening situation. While it is ultimately ineffective and self-defeating, don't be judgmental about yourself. Be empathetic to how you got here--from fear, desperation, and shame. Your actions are understandable and natural. Controlling behaviors rest on the assumption that you have power over the addict. But in the West, we go super hard one day and then hobble around until our soreness goes away and we can hammer ourselves again. I completely agree with Pavel on this.

Your physical activity can be challenging. It can be strenuous. But it shouldn't leave you completely worked out. If you're truly focusing on your overall wellness, you need a physical practice--whether it's kettlebells, like Pavel's, or martial arts, or anything else you find enjoyable--that you can perform every day. Perhaps it's a mix of sports or activities. Similarly, though there is benefit in high-intensity sessions at a fast pace, you should also be able to find physical and mental value in slower, flowing pursuits, such as holding and carrying weights, practicing tai chi, or even just taking a walk in your local park. We've become too used to applying our go-go-go lifestyle to our physical activity, to our detriment. In the military, there's a saying on this subject: Slow is smooth. You didn't think of becoming a mechanic, but your dad taught you so much about cars that it was an easy field. Passion didn't get you to your current spot in life, necessity did. Besides, Passion is a pretty fickle topic. I would argue that the super compassionate people can't use just pure passion. Emotional highs are unreliable and wavering. The caring, passionate people you see today have tapped into a type of commitment that transcends most of us. They've tapped into a self-motivation that surpasses normalcy. They realized what a great goal looks like and they seized it, no questions asked. One of the most impactful quotes I've ever heard about motivation and commitment came from Andrew Carnegie. People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity. In his article Contrary to Love: Helping the Sexual Addict, Patrick Carnes offers an apt analogy: in a traditional African method for trapping monkeys, fruit is placed in small wooden boxes with narrow slats on the sides. The monkeys are able to reach in and grab the fruit but they are unable to pull the fruit out through the slats.