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Emotionally and mentally, a strong EQ means that you will experience a greater level of self-confidence and self-esteem, you will value yourself more, and you will stand up for yourself more. People with a strong EQ tend to find themselves thriving in social settings because they have compassion and grace with themselves and others, and because they know how to navigate their emotions in a healthy manner. They also tend to know how to help others' navigate their emotions in a healthy manner, meaning that other people tend to feel more at ease and confident around people with a high EQ. Overall, there are many positive benefits that come from recognizing and boosting your EQ. How to Measure Your Own Emotional Intelligence Measuring EQ is not an exact science, though there is a test that helps people discover where, approximately, they fall on the EQ scale. The current test being used is called the Mayer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test, or the MSCEIT. But I also honor the fear and trembling that continue to seize me before each public presentation. Stage fright is often characterized as a form of narcissism, a crippling overfocus on the image of the self that one presents to the world. But I believe that the opposite is true. I have come to view speech anxiety as a sign of fundamental integrity. It seems to me that those of us who face our audiences with weak knees and fluttering innards understand too well the essential humanity that we share with our audiences. We know in our bones that we are no better or more evolved than the people who sit before us, yet we are being invited to pretend just that. The podium's mandate: Fake infallibility and aim for perfection. To approach an audience in the face of that demand--even when we disbelieve it--is a harrowing experience. Public speaking sure did teach me a thing or two. I learned that I'm never going to transcend fear, but I needn't let it stop me. As a species, and particularly in our younger years, we are inclined to roam about looking for novelty, with children and teenagers driven by this imperative for their rapidly developing brains. But, of course, learning continues throughout our lifetimes, with new pathways of communication being forged in the brain as we think. This flexibility, the phenomenon scientists call plasticity', is essential for our individual survival. <br /><br /><a href=''>It</a> allows us rapidly to alter how we perceive and interact with the world. <a href=''>It</a> provides an up-to-date map of reality as our world changes around us, which it does all the time, from the banal act of hopping on the bus to go to work to the more challenging arriving in a city we've never been to before. <a href=''>Wherever</a> we are and whatever we're doing, our brain provides us with a constantly refreshed survival manual of our environment. <a href=''>It</a> allows us to navigate our worlds. <a href=''>Do</a> some individuals have a brain type that supports a heightened urge to seek out new sensations? <a href=''>Some</a> people seem intrinsically content to stick with their routine. <a href=''>You</a> may be the kind of person who dislikes disruption to your cherished patterns of activity. <a href=''>I'm</a> not going to get over it. <a href=''>Sometimes,</a> the offender is trying to make things right, but it is too late for the person who was harmed. <a href=''>In</a> this case, the person who is recovering from a transgression might indicate higher scores in the first three phases but a lower score in the Outcome phase (Figure 8. <a href=''>I'm</a> not going to get over it. <a href=''>The</a> recovering victim noted positive feelings toward the offender, the benefits of a reconciled relationship, and the remorse/change of the offender. <a href=''>But</a> the recovering victim is not going to get over the offense. <a href=''>Sometimes,</a> this is due to a value-based standard, such as, I would never stay with someone who cheated on me! <a href=''>At</a> other times, the recovering victim realizes that no matter how much they might care about a person, they are not going to get over the hurt or issues of trust. <a href=''>Another</a> possibility is that the recovering victim simply feels indifference toward the offender, indicating that the offender might now be a decent person but simply wants nothing to do with the offender any longer. <a href=''>I'm</a> trying to see the good in this. <a href=''>It</a> contributes to nursing trauma, as discussed in article four, where parents hope to exclusively nurse their baby/babies but run into significant barriers, and yet they feel so much externalized and internalized pressure to nurse that it starts to erode their parenting confidence and their sense of self. <a href=''>Exclusive</a> nursing can be a difficult thing to establish even in the best of circumstances, and when there are issues such as low milk production, trouble latching, or chronic blocked ducts, feeding your baby can become all-consuming. <a href=''>I</a> have worked with many new parents who describe hellish conditions -- mastitis so severe that they need to be hospitalized, nipples that become torn apart due to latch issues, and feeding cycles that leave parents no time for rest. <br /><br /><a href=''>Here's</a> how one parent described the impact that nursing had on her: <a href=''>I</a> was told to try and feed the baby for twenty minutes on each breast. <a href=''>But</a> the baby kept falling asleep and my milk didn't flow very fast, so I had to attach a small tube to my breast and pour pumped milk into it, which was impossible to do alone so I always needed to have someone with me when I was feeding the baby. <a href=''>It</a> was messy and frustrating, and each feed took about over an hour. <a href=''>After</a> I was done, I couldn't rest because then I needed to pump each breast for twenty minutes to stimulate more milk production. <a href=''>I</a> hardly got any milk when pumping, and I would obsess about it, but the lactation consultant kept telling me to trust my body and that how much I pumped wasn't a reflection of how much I had. <a href=''>Once</a> I was done pumping, I had to clean and sterilize everything, and by the time that was done it was time to feed the baby again because I was supposed to feed him every two to three hours. <a href=''>What</a> about the predetermined homes and class we are born into? <a href=''>We</a> do not have a choice in this matter. <a href=''>The</a> truth is that they do not matter anyway if you see the bigger picture. <a href=''>In</a> order to understand this, we have to accept some truths: We are not at the centre of the universe. <a href=''>Humans</a> are not the only matter or lifeform on this planet. <a href=''>There</a> are universal laws of cause and effect that govern all matter and energy throughout the universe. <a href=''>Building</a> a dam for creating a water reservoir or generating hydroelectricity has extraordinary benefits. <a href=''>But</a> a radical change in the volume of water leads to shifting the tectonic plates under the earth's surface, and gives rise to earthquakes. <a href=''>The</a> victims are not destined for disaster. <a href='http://xn--101-8cd4f0b.xn--p1ai/user/dangerhall95/'>Nature</a> does not single out families. <a href=''>Their</a> teacher received modeling for how to help her class gain self-regulation skills by repeating this exercise often. <a href=''>Practice</a> is needed to process angry feelings, as well as develop the ability to feel the entire spectrum of emotions, including sadness, love, fear, and joy! <a href=''>Other</a> Activities to Support Assisted Self-Regulation with Guided Practice in Cooling Down <br /><br /><a href=''>Almost</a> any school activity can be structured for the practice of self-regulation. <a href=''>Monitoring</a> and modeling a charged (activated) and calm (deactivated) nervous system, with opportunities for self-soothing and self-monitoring, are essential. <a href=''>Inserting</a> many pauses during an activity and following every activity with a guided practice in cooling down teach each student to check their internal thermometers for activation level. <a href=''>They</a> can put one hand over their heart to notice (or some might want to count the beats) and feel how it slows down when allowing time. <a href=''>Here</a> are a few examples, with instructions, for turning regular activities into opportunities for self-regulation practice: <a href=''>Martial</a> Arts such as T'ai Chi, Aikido, Qigong, and other such practices provide a system of coordinated body posture, movement, breathing, and focus. <a href=''>Add</a> Time In or Pauses to track activation. <a href=''>Next,</a> you need to identify the thoughts that are going on inside your head while you are angry. <a href=''>There</a> will be some thoughts that are completely irrational, and your duty is to find positive and rational alternatives to them. <a href=''>One</a> such common toxic thought pattern is demandingness, and if you identify that in yourself, then you need to replace it with being more flexible. <a href=''>If</a> you use words likehas to' and `must,' then you need to work on your vocabulary and avoid the usage of these words. It is one thing to suggest but another thing to insist on. If you have the habit of being too hard on yourself even when you make the smallest mistakes, then it is time that you start loving yourself. You have to accept your fallibility and know that one small mistake does not automatically make you a bad person. Also, if you want to make a great impact on your thinking patterns and adopt a new perspective, then you will have to work on it on a daily basis. If there are multiple thinking patterns that need correction, you can start with one and then work your way up to the others. Once you are confident about changing one single thought pattern, you can move on to the others. This test works by asking a series of emotion-based problem-solving questions, and then measuring the individual's EQ based off of how they answer the test. Many people call the MSCEIT the ability model when it comes to testing for EQ, as two additional measurements have been designed since then. The two additional methods for measuring EQ include the mixed model and the traits model.

The mixed model was designed by Daniel Goleman, and it measures self-awareness, self-regulation, social skill, empathy, and motivation. The trait model was designed by Konstantinos V. Petrides, or K. Petrides, and it was proposed as a way to measure ones' traits in comparison to EQ. This model is similar to Goleman's model, and it allows individuals to self-report and then bases their measurements off of those self-reports. Using Emotional Intelligence to Master Your Emotions Using emotional intelligence as a guideline to help you master your emotions is important, as it provides you with a concise, research-backed set of guidelines that help you understand and manage your emotions. I learned that survival is a perfectly reasonable goal to set for myself the first dozen or so times I face a dreaded situation. I learned to observe my worst mistakes in a curious, self-loving way. I learned to hang on to the life raft that is my sense of humor. I learned that I must show up. Finally, I learned to view my worst failures as a gift to my sisters and brothers, who, upon observing my glaring imperfections, might gather the courage to get behind the podium themselves. WHAT PUBLIC SPEAKING HAS TAUGHT ME ABOUT PRIVATE SPEAKING Actually, the risks I've taken behind the podium are minor compared with the vulnerability I feel when I open up a difficult conversation with someone in my personal life. Public speaking, after all, is a hit-and-run affair. Even if you've made a total fool of yourself, you know you'll never have to face those people again. They'd rather listen to you anyway than be home cleaning the kitchen or figuring their taxes. Or you may be more impatient and restless, constantly craving new experiences and sensations, driven by the pleasures of the unexpected. Are these opposing dimensions of personality ingrained in each of us at birth? Or does our life experience cause them?