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It is particularly helpful for times when you are about to face up to a difficult situation or a confrontation. When you have your act together and you're a squared away and high-caliber individual, you are at a level of Fck You. You have more freedom than everyone else and no one can say anything to you because they have to look at themselves first - and when they do, they're going to realize just how far behind they are. Get your money, thoughts, emotions, behavior, habits, and life squared away. Get all of it on a level of Fck You. If you don't have your act together, you never get to say "Fck You" to anyone and you can live the rest of your life knowing you had the choice and opportunity and you chose to take the average route. You chose to be lazy and do what's easy. You chose to act like a child, make childish decisions, and to be weak. Drug abuse and addiction need to be recognized as a perennial human problem. Through my work, I have come to understand that a complicated mixture of social forces and biological predispositions makes some people more susceptible than others to drug abuse and addiction, and understanding those factors is the first step in prevention and treatment. (We'll go deeper into this subject in chapters 1 and 2.) We have reached an apogee in drug use, quantifiable in both deaths and dollars, but the disease of addiction is not a recent development: Americans have had a considerable appetite for drugs and alcohol since the European landings in the New World and the founding fathers. Drug use was common among Native Americans in religious ceremonies and in rites of passage, and alcohol was pervasive in Britain, quickly spreading to the New World. Furthermore, opioids--including derivatives of the poppy such as opium and morphine--have been available since the beginning of the nineteenth century, when laudanum and "black drop" opium were available by prescription and contained in many patent medicines. Heroin and the synthetic opioids have become our current scourge. Attitudes about opioid use shifted over the nineteenth and twentieth centuries from medical acceptance to moral and legal condemnation. Nevertheless, use has remained constant. Our railroads were built by Chinese immigrants dependent on opium, ingesting it to sustain their stamina, abate their physical pains, and quiet the sufferings of displacement. (Today, we have countless middle-aged, high school-educated, unemployed white men, many who worked with their bodies in construction and heavy-labor jobs, who use narcotic pain pills and are dying from the opioid epidemic in cities and countrysides throughout the United States.) Epidemics of the abuse of heroin, invented by Bayer in 1898, were declared after World Wars I and II and the Vietnam War. In the decades after World War II, heroin was the principal opioid drug of abuse in this country--but no longer. What do you want to be able to say to life and to the challenges and problems average people struggle with?

"F
ck You..." While healthy activities improve one's mental health, thinking healthy does as well. Having a positive body image has been found to boost one's subjective level of happiness. A survey of 9,667 women about their body image found that those who expressed "body appreciation" were more likely to express higher levels of subjective happiness. But while having a positive outlook on one's body created positive emotional benefits, body dissatisfaction actually had "no significant association with subjective happiness." The researchers concluded that instead of discouraging negative attitudes about one's body, greater improvements in one's emotional well-being are likely to come from focusing on the positive aspects of one's body, such as appreciating the body's functionality rather than its appearance. Take a minute to appreciate how cool your body is--how much it can do and how effectively it is able to do it, from fingers to toes and everything in between. The real news is the extraordinary rise in prescriptions of opioid pain pills, and with that, the explosion of use, abuse, and dependence on them that has swept this country. Deaths from overdoses of opioid prescription medications have far exceeded those of heroin for over fifteen years, though heroin overdoses have escalated considerably in recent years. But what they could definitively conclude was that using an in-the-moment recall application or journaling style can help identify personal heath behavior patterns that contribute to your own happiness. Track your healthy (or unhealthy) behavior to identify personal patterns that affect you throughout the day, as well as to increase your motivation to engage in more healthful behaviors once you've identified the effects they have on your overall happiness. To make sure you get the most out of your relationships, invest enough energy into displaying who you are to colleagues, then show them that the real you is valuable and best of all, likable. Don't be demanding and always be willing to bend to accommodate (to a point). People will like you because of it, and more importantly they will respect what you contribute as a person, and as a colleague. By showing respect and building a relationship with everyone in your family. When it comes to your friends, you'll want to make sure you're a good friend - someone who provides value to everyone you meet, who is empathetic to everyone's problems and who shows a 100% dedication to each moment you spend with them. Empathy--facilitate a tighter bond than before by sympathizing and commiserating with their pleasure, or their pain. Technology takes tremendous leaps every year and has made communicating with others faster, easier, and more efficient than ever. We can video chat, talk by phone, and send text messages in a matter of seconds. No wonder these devices have become a central part of our lives. A Gallup poll found that more than two fifths of adults check their smartphones multiple times per hour. But as new technology is making some things easier, it is not making us happier.

A quick review of the research that's been done about recent technology indicates that these hypnotic screens that have suddenly become so hugely important to modern life do exactly the opposite: Texting damages relationships, use of social media corrodes friendships, and the more you use the internet, the more likely you are to feel anxious--or worse. Those who went online for coping--using the internet to solve personal problems, try to "feel close to others," find information about topics they couldn't talk about with others, express themselves, and find distraction to relieve themselves from stress--were "more likely to report greater depression, greater social anxiety, and less family cohesion," according to the researchers. This contrasts with those who went online for more active tasks (such as seeking information or communicating with others) who reported higher levels of family cohesion--thanks, according to the researchers, to the day-to-day communication to loved ones it can provide. But before you assume that this chapter is advocating unplugging from everything and moving to a cabin in the woods, read on. While too much technology can eat away at well-being, there are many ways that using high-tech tools can make you feel better. From leveraging meditation and journaling apps to using Facebook to create the right kind of social capital, there are ways to use gadgets to better yourself. This chapter looks into what those are and how to make the machines work for you, rather than vice versa. Ask: For What Are You Using the Internet? Another concern for frequent online users: internet addiction. The ping of an email hitting your inbox or a notification on Twitter releases a burst of dopamine much like what a smoker feels when lighting a cigarette. At one time or another, all of us have found ourselves opening a browser as soon as we wake up or surfing the web when we should have been doing something "better" with our time. But there's a big difference between that low-level wasting of time and full-on addiction. A survey of 572 university students found that for at least 9 percent of those surveyed, the internet was an addiction, with these participants continuing to hop online even as they suffered adverse effects including exhaustion (after staying up late to browse) and academic problems. Those classified as addicts agreed that they shouldn't use the internet so much, as had been suggested to them by others, and thought that they would use it less if they had more friends. The researchers concluded that "the internet does play a role in some students' academic difficulties." Yes, you want to become a better version of yourself, but why? Your "why" gives you the drive, strength, stamina, and advantage you need to make it there. My "why" for having my act together is it pushes me in the direction of my goals. I get more done, I stay on track, and my thoughts and emotions don't get in the way. My "why" for having my act together is it feels good to be in the state of having it together. To wake up knowing I did a great job and accomplished more than I thought I could the day before and go to sleep knowing I used my time wisely and hit my targets throughout the day.

My "why" is running away from feeling guilt. I hate waking up in the morning and going to bed at night feeling like I don't have my act together and guilty that I'm not doing what I know I'm capable of. I'm sure you know that feeling. My "why" is knowing that feeling like I don't have my act together doesn't have to be permanent. I'm 100% capable of always doing better and the negative feelings of laziness and complacency is a conscious choice. My "why" is having my act together sets the example for my child, family, friends, and everyone around me. I'm a positive influence in their life and I'm able to give instead of take. How is getting your act together going to make you feel better about yourself, improve your life, and contribute to those around you? It may not be the technology itself that impacts your happiness, but the ways you are using it. A look at internet usage and how it affects well-being found that the frequency of going online did not clearly correlate with well-being one way or another, but specific types of internet use correlated to depression, social anxiety, and family cohesion. Bond with them over the small things--as in romantic relationships, it's the small things in life that really mean the most. Having a cup of coffee together, spending time hanging out and talking about everything under the sun, or playing golf. It's about the moments inside your friendship that make it real, unique, and irreplaceable. Choose a safe place to sit or lie down. Imagine you are in a garden at the time of the year you like best, enjoying looking at flowers, shrubs, trees and so on. You notice a wall along one side of the garden. In the middle of the wall is an old fashioned wooden door with a wrought iron handle on it. You make your way over to the door and open it. On the other side, you find yourself in your own, very special, safe place. A place no one knows about and where no one can get you.

Enjoy being there. When you are ready, make your way back to the door. Leave and shut the door firmly behind you, knowing that your special safe place is always there, whenever you choose to return there. Walk around the garden and, when you are ready, open your eyes. Avoid people who make you feel bad--life's too short to be around and/or accommodate others who don't lift you up. Today, we no longer have the contained problems of opioid (and other) substance use that characterized our country for two hundred years. By 2013, opioid sales and dependence had exceeded dependence on either alcohol, cocaine, and marijuana. Deaths from opioids have now exceeded those from motor vehicle accidents and gunshot wounds, combined. This isn't the tide coming in: it's a tsunami. The dilemma of what to do about the pervasive use of substances that so effectively deliver their chemical and psychological effects, explaining their popularity, extends to alcohol, tobacco, hallucinogens, and a diverse group of prescription and illicit psychoactive drugs. This dilemma has been heightened by what has clearly been the failure of drug-control, interdiction, and criminalization policies--which disproportionately and negatively impact the poor and people of color. I am not calling for either blanket legalization of drugs or for criminalizing nonviolent users. We must, instead, reach a better understanding of how to better allocate the precious resources currently being expended. There is no significant--and certainly not sufficient--new money for prevention and treatment programs. Where will the resources come from for these critically needed actions if not from the waste resulting from ineffective strategies of drug control? Efforts to prevent use and scare users into abstinence by stressing the negative consequences of drug use have also failed, and examination of these failed policies and practices has yet to result in substantive change. We remain too sadly stuck in puritanical, punitive, and ideological approaches to drug use, and our policies have followed. For all the human and social damages opioids and other drugs have wrought, no substantive relief seems in sight--especially if this country continues to pursue politically driven solutions rather than those drawn from science and public-health practices. What direction will it take you? What goals will it help you reach?