should all have a place. Clothes and shoes go in closets. Dirty clothes go in hampers. Towels go in bathrooms. Trash goes in the trash cans, not the floor. Dishes, pots, and pans go in kitchen cabinets. Everything should be in place and accounted for. As an Aircraft Mechanic working on secret and experimental aircraft, the rules were strict and clear: every tool, screw, nut, bolt, rivet, hi-lok, etc. has a place and no one goes home until every tool and piece of hardware is back in place and accounted for. The person in charge didn't suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and want to make our lives miserable, it was because tools and hardware left in an engine or somewhere else on the aircraft could lead to it crashing and killing people onboard and on the ground. It was 100% necessary that every single tool and piece of hardware was accounted for. We did this by "shadowing" tool boxes and putting as many accountability procedures in place as necessary. Every drawer of every toolbox had the shape of the tool cut out into foam and at the end of the day, the tools went back in their place. If it wasn't there, it was missing and all operations on the aircraft stopped. We separated into search teams to find it. The tools not stored in toolboxes were traced onto walls so they were quickly and easily seen if they were being used or missing. When we checked out hardware, it was counted out and we documented EXACTLY how many screws, rivets, nuts, bolts, etc. we used. If it got thrown away, we documented that too. We left no room for mistakes.

These intense and strict accountability procedures kept everyone on the aircraft safe, it kept us sharp, and it saved time and effort when doing our job. When they met, I learned that a stream of pleading, blaming, hating, and threatening was followed by Andrea's dramatic exit from the room. She could not be found for one day, then a second. Eleanor, with considerable support, stayed the course. Inside, she was churning, fearing the worst, and trying to bear the fiery accusation that she could not love her daughter and treat her this way. After two months Andrea went for her first appointment with a therapist who would work with her on her co-occurring addiction and depression. That happened just before the clock was about to run out on the rent. What happened to the boyfriend was not clear to me, but he appeared to be gone. It was a good year before Andrea achieved some significant sobriety, was attending classes, and spoke regularly with her family. Almost another year passed before she offered her first thanks to them. Now, years later, this chapter in their family's life is painfully memorable, but it is past. Andrea was using substances because her body craved them, because of being taken over by the disease, mind and body. Andrea's mother, with the support of her second husband and other children, and with my coaching, had decided it was a necessary gamble to cut Andrea off. This family's decision proved successful, but it was a gamble nonetheless. A therapist such as me has to have informed opinions and be willing to voice them, but let the patient and family decide what to do. A family is usually the greatest support and ally that a person with a mental illness, including an addiction, can have. The decisions a family has to make about their loved one's mental health are not easy, nor are they cut-and-dried, and the results are not predictable. Families can both see the early-warning signs of trouble and be an essential source of love and hope through the demands and doubts that derive from these conditions. Many times, families help pay for costly and long-term treatments, sometimes mortgaging what little they have. I am reminded by my work with Eleanor that it is family, and friends, who gives rise to the saying that those who go the furthest in recovering from illness do not do so alone.

You've put off doing the laundry for so long that you've run out of clean clothes to wear. Still, you can't bear the thought of lugging several bags of dirty laundry over to the cleaners and spending hours watching the washing machines and dryers rotate. Your supervisor appears with two boxes of files and says, "It's your turn to deal with these." You really dislike filing, and your boss has personally handed these files over to you. Still, you wonder if there's a way you can flee from this unpleasant task without alerting him. When procrastinators feel overwhelmed, they tend to go into self-protection mode, shutting down like overloaded circuit breakers do. However, while circuit breakers re-set at only the push of a switch, people are a bit more complex. So, Why Do I Continue Procrastinating? "I know I'm driving myself nuts by procrastinating about this, that, and everything. So, why do I continue doing it?" I've been asked this question by many procrastinators, and it's a natural question. Just why do we keep on procrastinating when it causes us so much stress? Well, for some pretty good reasons. Here are just a few of them: We've been this way for quite a while, and although procrastination is not the best coping method ever invented, it has helped us to avoid some stressful situations for better or worse--unfortunately, it's usually for the worse. Procrastinating makes us feel independent because no one can pin us down and force us to do things we don't want to. Everyone is going to feel "the blues" at some point in their lives. Feelings of sadness or despondency are certainly common enough after experiencing a major loss or simply as part of the daily hassles we all go through. But, when these symptoms become overwhelming and refuse to go away, then things become more serious. Even though depression is something that should only be diagnosed by a trained health professional (Dr. Google doesn't count), here are some common signs that might indicate that a person may be clinically depressed: Chronic fatigue, often to the point where it is difficult to get out of bed or take care of oneself. Persistent feelings of personal worthlessness, guilt, or helplessness. While we all experience occasional bouts of self-doubt, people who are depressed may find themselves being overwhelmed by these feelings.

Feelings of pessimism and hopelessness. Sleep problems, including insomnia; disturbed sleep; or, in cases of severe depression, spending too much time sleeping. Concentration and memory problems. People who are depressed often find themselves unable to focus and often forget even trivial details. Loss of interest in activities that were once enjoyable. This can also involve an overall inability to feel pleasure (a condition known as anhedonia). Feelings of restlessness, whether due to racing thoughts that can't be controlled or due to a sense of muscular tension that make it difficult to get to sleep at night. Appetite problems, either eating too much or not eating at all. Irritability, or having a "short fuse"; this is a common symptom in people with depression. Persistent sad thoughts, usually linked to the feelings of pessimism and hopelessness already mentioned. Aches, pains, or headaches that don't seem to stop. These symptoms may not have a physical cause but can still seem very real to someone experiencing depression. You're not to think you are more important than we are. You're not to convince yourself that you are better than we are. You're not to think anyone cares about you. You're not to think you know more than we do. You're not to think you are anything special. You're not to think you are as good as we are. You're not to think you are smarter than we are. You're not to think you are good at anything.

You're not to laugh at us. You're not to think you can teach us anything. This is a big component of Scandinavian culture and the reason why you will see very few flashy luxury cars in Denmark. Well, that and a 150 per cent car tax, obviously. But the Jantelov goes deeper and wider than cars. Where success may be enthusiastically flaunted in the US, humbleness is the bigger virtue in Scandinavia. Buy a luxury car with a personal licence plate saying SUCCESS' (as I saw in Riga, Latvia), and you can expect to have your car keyed within a day or two. <a href=''>There</a> are a lot of negative implications to the Law of Jante, but I do think we tend to overlook one positive aspect: it does seek to curb conspicuous consumption, and that may not be a bad thing. <a href=''>Being</a> exposed to other people's wealth can have a negative effect. <a href=''>In</a> South Korea, they have a saying for all this:If one cousin buys land, the other cousin gets a stomach ache.' Again, your home reflects your mind. If it's cluttered and disorganized, your mind is cluttered and disorganized. If it's clean, clear, and intelligently organized, your mind is clean, clear, and more organized. If you're not developing emotional attachments to everything you own and regularly throwing out and giving away the things you don't need, you're mentally and emotionally retaining only what's necessary and useful and throwing out the thoughts, emotions, and habits not serving you. When your mind is cluttered and unorganized, look at your home - it's probably the same or getting there. When you're an emotional wreck and your mind is all over the place, your home becomes a wreck. Cleaning is good for your mental health. When you clean and organize your home, it does the same for your mind. It's therapeutic. From 200+ years of reports and studies, militaries understand this concept better than anyone. When a unit loses a battle, there's usually an investigation conducted as to what happened, what they did differently, and what variables contributed to it.