Judge it objectively. If it causes a negative reaction from others and leaves you with anything but good and happy feelings, make it your priority to change it to get better results. You can even ask the help of someone objective that you trust to help keep an eye on your behavior. Once you have decided to change negative aspects of your behavior, don't wait! Start doing it immediately. Don't let the negative and bad habits that kept you from so much good in your life, grow more roots. Deprive it of its influence and power over you by replacing it with positive thoughts, words and actions. Don't blame your loved one and don't blame yourself; We're not saying Don't worry, everything will turn out fine. We're recommending informed, proactive engagement, plus patience. Change usually takes time and practice. Good News (with a little bad news): First the bad news: these are not quick fixes. But this is also the good news! The changes we suggest making now in the way you relate to your loved one will support positive change on his part over the long run. Once you get the hang of this approach, you can keep doing what you're doing and keep on helping. You're learning a new way to relate, not merely a way to get him into rehab. Rehab may be a part of it, but this is so much more. Given enough time and experience you'll weed out the ones who want to do better from those who just want to bring you down. Until then, don't wear your heart on your sleeve. Scorpio Venus/Libra Sun:

Why do you keep attracting the wrong people? They're always so possessive, domineering, or heavy. Can't you go out with somebody who's easy to get along with? Bad relationships are like ghosts--they'll keep haunting you until you get to the bottom of what ails them. Own up to the parts of yourself you project onto others and your relationships improve immediately. Scorpio Venus/Scorpio Sun: Neither of you trusts the other. When you find yourself in front of the fridge craving a snack even though you had enough to eat, stop and think what you are doing as you open the fridge door. It will help if you put a big red sticker right by the handle saying something like THINK to make you become consciously aware that it is a bad habit. It does not benefit you in any way. Close your eyes, breathe in and out a slowly and think about it. You can use anything to remind you to stop your negative habits in their tracks, a sticker as a visual cue or a motion sensor with a beep as an auditory cue. Be creative. Make a conscious decision to stop this bad habit and acknowledge it out loud a few times so that it is stored in your subconscious mind. You can say something like: That was not my thought! I make a better choice to be beautiful, healthy and happy (according to God's will). While breathing deeply with your eyes closed, replace the negative habit that urges you to crave something to snack on with a positive vision of how beautiful and strong you are for not giving in to the urge. You can only do your best. Thankfully, in clinical trials, it has been proven that your best is enough to help your situation change. You're in a position to help, on the one hand, but you're also unhappy with the relationship the way it is.

Try to take on the helping strategies in the following articles in the spirit of making yourself happier and inviting your loved one to join you, rather than making your loved one change. Start where she is. Start where you are. Go from there. Remember, you're in this together--that's why it works. Exercise: Daily Reminder to Be Nice You don't have to wait for your loved one to make changes to start being nice. Surprisingly, this has nothing to do with lies or betrayals. It's all about gaining and keeping the upper hand. You two wield zingers, guilt trips, and psychological manipulation tactics like evenly matched opponents. One day you'll get to the place where you can lay down the weapons and just be together. Scorpio Venus/Sagittarius Sun: Hopefully, you're a cat person. It helps to explain how your lover can be affectionate one moment, then hissing and scratching the next. The mixed messages would drive anyone crazy, but you love it. The sooner you learn to let this person come to you, the better off you'll be. Scorpio Venus/Capricorn Sun: Visualize it until you can feel how excited and happy you are for believing in yourself. Now you can go and have a glass of water, a cup of tea or some other healthy alternative. To change your habits, you need to repeat this consciously and continuously.

The more you think and visualize something, the more you say and do it, the more set the new neural pathways in your brain become, until the better habits are established. The more nerves in your brain fire together, the more they wire together. Avoid Distractions The process takes time and effort before it becomes a regular and effortless habit. Therefore you need to get rid of anything that will distract you along the way to your goal. Steer away from it as far as possible, no matter who or what might be causing it. If you have a craving for eating ice cream, drinking beer, or smoking cigarettes and you want to change it, make sure you don't keep any of it anywhere in the house. This exercise will help you start to set the stage for change, starting with less distance, tension, and anger between you. Being nice doesn't mean you condone everything that is happening; And when you time it right, when your loved one is abstinent or otherwise not engaged in behavior you want to change, being nice rewards the behavior you hope to encourage. Also, it feels nice to be nice! You may feel awkward, not to mention sad, contemplating this list if it reminds you that there aren't many niceties in your relationship these days, but you can bring them back, and you will get the hang of it, and most likely it will feel good. Plus, people tend to be nice back. Did you express appreciation to your loved one today? Did you compliment your loved one today? Did you give your loved one any pleasant surprises today? Did you visibly express affection to your loved one today? Sex is where you really open up. But pretending like nothing happened afterward isn't a healthy way to deal with abandonment issues. Rejecting someone before they reject you leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy of loneliness.

There's nothing wrong with sex for sex's sake. But if there's more going on, then be honest with your partner. The love life you save may be your own. VENUS IN SAGITTARIUS You love a good laugh--anything from piercing satire to fart jokes. Nothing is too sacred or cheap as far as you're concerned. Laughter is the universal language, which is good because you often attract people from other countries or different backgrounds. Avoid places, friends, colleagues or other people that might temp you to violate your decision. Do this until you are strong enough to stick to your new habits without danger of falling back into old ways. The first 30 days are usually the most difficult. This is the period in which most people tend to give up and fall back in their old comfort zones. To break through this period you need to take every measure possible to prevent you from going back to your old ways. You can compare it with an airplane taking off. To get in the air, it has to fight gravity and use all its power to break free to get to cruising height. I was told that during takeoff and getting to twenty thousand feet or cruising height, the plane consumes more than half and up to 80 % of the fuel it uses for the total flight, depending on the distance it has to go. The exact facts are however not that important here. I simply want to help you prepare. Did you spend some time devoting your complete attention to pleasant conversation with your loved one today? Did you initiate pleasant conversation with your loved one today? Did you make any offer to help your loved one before being asked?