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Your arrival is quite an inconvenience, the man said. So, what's new? Michael mumbled. For starters, make sure that you have learned more about the individual that you are going to manipulate. Make sure that you have understood them fully. By understanding your target, you can formulate an approach that will come about as suitable when it comes to manipulating them. Some of the things that you may notice as you try to understand people include: Most of the people are vulnerable, and it is possible to reach out to them by evoking their emotional responses. For instance, some people may cry when watching a movie, and they may showcase some high levels of sympathy and empathy. To manipulate such individuals, make sure that you have joked around with their emotions while also pretending that you feel sorry and they will eventually give you what you want. Other people usually have a strong sense of guilt. Most of the individuals who have a guilt reflex grew up in a household that was restrictive, and they may have been punished for every wrong deed that they may have committed. As for such people, always make sure that they feel guilty about various acts and they will give in to your demands at the end of it all. Here's an example of what building a safe place to deal with developmental trauma might look like with a bottom-up approach. I have a nineteen-year-old client who is eating disordered and an overachiever. She recently came in and told me that she had been suffering from a two-day panic attack. Rather than asking this woman what triggered the panic attack (as a top-down therapeutic approach would), I asked her, What is happening for you right now? I feel like I just want to get into the fetal position, she replied. Let's do that. I bunkered this woman in with pillows, creating a cocoon for her.

She spent the next hour encased in those pillows in the fetal position as I sat next to her and gently put my hands on her feet. By the time she left the session, she was amazed that she was able to quiet her mind and felt far more grounded than she had when she first walked through the door. She learned that she could stay in her body in those moments of panic and it was going to be okay--better, even! The man looked over the top of his spectacles at Michael. Just sit in that chair and be very quiet. Turning quickly, he walked toward a huge, hand-carved desk. Settling himself behind it and picking up a stack of papers, he grumbled, As if I don't have enough happening right now. Trying to get a grip on his surroundings, Michael looked around. He was sitting on a big, expensive-looking rug, and his back was against the wall of a fancy, high-ceilinged room. To his left was the hard-backed chair that had been pointed to by the man who was now busily sorting papers across the room. To his right, a globe stood on a pedestal in front of an unlit fireplace. Easing up and into the chair, Michael said, I'm so thirsty. Without looking up, the man replied, I'll get you something in a bit. Some people usually respond to approaches that are rational. For example, if you have a close friend who is always logical and they always keep up with the news, that means that they are always after information that is verifiable. In such an instance, always make sure that you have utilized your persuasive powers accordingly when manipulating them. Method 2 - Using Different Manipulation Techniques Impose an Unreasonable Request then Present a Reasonable One This is a technique that has proven to be very effective, and many manipulators often use it. It is also simple to use.

Whenever you want to manipulate anyone, always come up with a request that is not reasonable. They will reject the unreasonable request, and in that instance, you should come up with a request that is reasonable. The request that you come up with should be appealing to the individual who is being targeted. This provided her with a new sense of mastery. If this sounds simple, that's because it was. All I did was to create a safe container for this young woman to move through an experience. Of note here is the fact that this woman knew exactly what her body needed, whether she was aware of it before coming to my office or not. All I had to do was ask. We don't need to know what happened with this woman to traumatize her or to trigger that trauma. The story doesn't matter, because we're not working with it and would likely never be able to understand what that story is, anyway. That is not how this issue is going to be resolved. It is going to be resolved through her body and through her nervous system, which is at the root of these panic attacks. So the extent of our talking was limited to that simple question and her answer to it: What is happening and what do you need? For now, please be quiet. Unable to contain the question any longer, Michael asked, So, where am I? Look here now! The man slammed the stack of papers down on the desk and pointed his finger at Michael. I asked you nicely to be quiet, and I'm expecting you to do it. You are in Potsdam, Germany, a suburb of Berlin, in a free zone presently controlled by the Red army. It is Tuesday, July 24, 1945.

The man took a deep breath, appearing to calm down, and reached for his work again. Filing through papers, he said, There now, sit and chew on that for a while. Michael propped his elbows on his knees and dropped his head in his hands. The best example to use in such a case is when an employee may not accept an offer to arrive early at work, but they will voluntarily accept a request whereby they are supposed to come to work early to handle various urgent duties. The employee will prefer engaging in a short-term request since it is less cumbersome as compared to the long term request. Inspire Fear then Ensure That the Victim Has a Sense of Relief As a manipulator, the main fact is that you have a target, and you have also chosen our victims wisely. In this case, you should make sure that a victim's worst fears have come to life. In the process, you will focus on ensuring that they have been relived and they will be happy enough to ensure that you have received what you were looking for. Such tricks might be mean, but they will ensure that you have gotten what you were looking for. The best example to use in this case is--assume that your friend has a car. Try to shock them by telling them that the car was producing some funny noises. You may go ahead and tell them that the engine might be dead. You can probably see how it becomes difficult to work through these issues of developmental trauma in talk therapy. How can a person possibly get to the root of their trauma if they cannot even remember the incident that led them to this place? Developmental trauma is always less about the specifics of what happened and more about the person's reaction to it. If something causes a person to squelch their feelings or behave in such a way that their basic needs are not met, it is likely unresolved trauma. PTSD and Complex PTSD You may already be familiar with PTSD and its impact on war veterans and survivors of severe accidents and other acute events. The causes of PTSD might also include events such as surgeries or medical issues, surviving a natural disaster, or something seemingly far more mundane than any of these things.

The trauma might be physical, or it might be emotional or mental. The similarity between all of these traumas is that they leave a person feeling unsafe and with a sense of loss or disconnection to themselves and the world they live in. Complex PTSD is different from this more commonly recognized form of acute PTSD in that it is the result of cumulative trauma acquired through chronic or long-term exposure to stress, which most often occurs during childhood. I must be in the hospital. That's where they send kids who try to drive their cars off embankments. A psychiatric hospital. Michael looked over to the man at the desk. And who is he? If so, he needs to work on his bedside manner. But Germany? Why would he say that? And the Red army? Maybe he's as cuckoo as I am. At that juncture, the individual will be in fear. After that, go ahead and inform them that you realized that the strange noise was being produced by the radio. They will be relieved. You should make sure that the intervals through which you provide this information vary. Since the individual may be relived, you may go ahead and ask for another favor such as you may borrow the car once again. Ensure That a Person Feels Guilty As a manipulator, another way of getting what you want is through ensuring that you have invoked guilt in a person.