Be an engaged part of your network. Change your game and speak up! Listen to be present Multitasking is seen as an art form these days with communication merely an exchange of information. True connection, the meeting of minds, and the mastery of networking, of actually being present not just in body but also in attentiveness, means switching off from multitasking. It is the real and pure source of achievement. Self-discipline sounds like such a tough, no-fun type of word, but it is really about making one decision -- do I do it, or do I not do it? If you decide not to do it, then wear the consequences. If it is no big deal, then stop beating yourself up about it and move on! If you decide to do it, then first of all take the smallest and easiest step possible. It's not about completing it; Too often we become too focused on completing the task. If you want to beat procrastination forever, then stop thinking about finishing the task and just focus on starting it. The challenge most people have with thinking about finishing the task or project at hand is that there is so much to do, so many steps, so much time needed to make it all come true. Turning it around and just focusing on starting takes all of this thinking out of the picture. You go into your child's bedroom to wake her up. Be gentle, and be early, so it's not all panic stations. At breakfast, ask your child to describe how her toast/ eggs/ cereal taste. How does the sensation of chewing feel? What's does the food feel like in her mouth?

Ask her if she'd like to choose to do one activity each morning and not think so much about it but sense what she's doing, for example, washing her hands/ putting on her shoes/ petting the dog . Each day she can pick something else, so it's always new. Driving your child to school, you could play I Spy with My Little Eye, but do it with sound, so it becomes I Hear with My Little Ear and ask her to guess what sound you're listening to. This plugs her right into the experience of paying attention. You could also play this with smell. Unable to see now, a deep tremble passed through her. Not only did she feel herself to be in imminent danger, but in what direction could she possibly move without further endangering herself? What other choice did she have? A strong resolve stirred in her, and drawing in the deepest breath she knew how, she took a running leap. It was several days later when the Golden Ram again wandered back by the sunbaked rock where he first met the great Blue Salamander. And as he approached there was a detectable lightness to his gait, for during his travels he had been a grateful witness to countless wonders unfolding in this early article of life. And now his hope was that the great Salamander had herself been taken through some of these monumental changes. He had his answer the moment her saw her contentedly sunning herself on the great rock. Well, he said, don't you look happy? If I didn't know better, I'd swear you weren't the same great Blue Salamander I met here sometime ago! As I walked through the graffiti-covered backstreets, I tried to picture what would happen next. I'd walk into my office and find someone to write on my chest with a black marker pen. The message: #MenFem. Every BODY is beautiful. I'd head over to the ITV studios, mic up, and when I was asked a question by the interviewer, I'd calmly explain why I dropped my trousers on the underground.

At the right moment, I would take off my shirt and reveal my hidden message. Who knew what would happen after that? I was sitting in my office with a marker pen in hand, ready to have the message written on my chest, when the phone rang. Hiya, is that Andre Spicer? Yes, I replied. My philosophy about these dreams is this: take constructive action on predictions that can improve your life or someone else's, but try not to feel guilty or responsible if you can't prevent what's going to transpire. As was true of my hurricane dream, you may not have the ability to alter events, though you're given a window to acclimate to them. I consider all predictive dreams as evidence of the depth of the intuitive connection we can have with ourselves and humankind. They link us to all shades of life, a knowledge I cherish. Happy or unhappy, truth is freedom if you view it from that perspective. Guidance Dreams You can be your own best intuitive and still not be able to read certain situations. Guidance dreams are expert at dispelling confusion. Whenever I'm in an emotional funk or too involved to see a person or predicament accurately, I turn to them. No matter how flummoxed I get--feeling hurt or rejected can still sometimes put me into a tailspin--I know the escape hatch from that dismal prison. Dead or dying bodies throughout history are crucified or hanged in gibbets. They dangle from chains. They are suspended above roadsides or in public squares. Or they hang in cages at the sea's lowest edge and are left there until the tides have risen and receded three times. Dead bodies were used to set examples--bodies of sailors hung in pre-Revolutionary Boston Harbor as a warning to pirates.

Punishments were often designed so as to multiply agony and draw out suffering as long as possible. Death might have been inevitable, but the administration of the punishment was meant to maximize pain and prolong the anguish of the convict. These historical punishments are notable not just for their cruelty and torture but also for the critical role that public exhibition and shame played in their implementation. Pillories served as a measure of both discomfort and humiliation, as their positioning in the town square or near the courthouse steps encouraged passersby to notice--and ridicule--the restrained criminal. Indeed, the definition of the word pillory--dating back to the year 1325--contains within it the purpose of evoking shame. Disorganization Take a look at any toddler's playroom and you can see that the ability to organize our surroundings is not something we are born with. Even more than the external world of toys and housekeeping, our personalities need organizing. To be purposeful people who can get things done, we need to be able to organize our desires, goals, time, and efforts. This is an important aspect of functioning. Mothering is very important here. The structure we talked about above, the containment we saw in earlier articles, and the consequences and limits of discipline all play an important role in someone being able to organize his or her life and function well. Mothers who do not discipline and invoke structure and consequences produce very disorganized personalities. Controlling Moms say, I'll clean up and organize you. If you grew up believing that someone would always be there to organize your life, you may have difficulty now in the areas of goal achievement, identity, direction, and follow-through. Significantly diminished interest or inability to take pleasure in regular activities Significant weight loss or weight gain totaling more than five percent of one's body weight in a single month or marked decrease or increase in appetite Insomnia, defined as the inability to fall asleep or to remain asleep, or hypersomnia, defined as excessive daytime sleepiness, sleeping more than ten hours each day, or inability to feel refreshed after sleeping Psychomotor agitation, defined as purposeless actions such as wringing of hands, pacing, finger-tapping and other such repetitive motions; Chronic fatigue or loss of energy

Continual feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt Significantly diminished ability to think or concentrate regularly, or chronic indecisiveness Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide which can surface at any time, seemingly without cause For the purposes of this article, we will not concern ourselves too much with the strict clinical boundaries of depression, nor restrict our advice to those who have previously obtained a diagnosis of depression from a psychiatrist, physician, or other medical professional. Technically, the symptoms above are intended to describe what is referred to as Major Depressive Disorder, for which a patient should display five or more of the above symptoms, including one or both of the first two, occurring during much of the day, nearly every day, during a two-week period. Listening is twice as important when it comes to networking. When you are engaged in conversation are you truly listening or are you rubbernecking, checking out who else is in the room or what other people are doing? Are you focusing on the conversation at hand or listening with one ear, with the other on another conversation? Are you actually there in body but thinking about other things -- the to-do list you left at the office, that email you must send later, what you are going to have for dinner? Or are you so in your own head that you are focused on thinking about what you are going to say next? BUILDING A NETWORK THAT WORKS FOR YOU IS ABOUT CONNECTION. LISTENING IS AN ESSENTIAL PART OF CONNECTION. AND LISTENING PLUS THE GREATEST ROBBER OF SELF-CONFIDENCE IS PROCRASTINATION THE GREATEST ENHANCER OF SELF-CONFIDENCE IS ACHIEVEMENT. A recent participant in one of my Passionate People Programs shared that she had been procrastinating about finishing her master's degree.