Instead of will power, "won't power" becomes the rule. Sometimes a procrastinator will engage in a pursuit that has no real value just for the sake of having a substitute activity (such as aimless channel surfing or oversleeping) in order to calm down from the anxiety he feels. He can also distract himself from a task simply by thinking of other things, like by daydreaming.In general, the risk of women developing major depression at some point in their lifetimes is around 20 percent compared to 10 percent for men. At this point, it isn't clear whether this can be due to biological differences or due to the fact that men are less likely than women to report emotional problems. Also, women tend to be more sensitive than men to the emotional pain resulting from relationship problems and are also more likely to seek treatment early when depressive symptoms develop. Again, while depression can strike at any age, it appears most likely to affect people between the ages of 25 and 45 (with 32.5 being the average age). While late-life depression in people over the age of sixty-five also remains common, they are also less likely to seek treatment until their symptoms become much more severe. There can also be more difficulty in diagnosing depression in older adults since the symptoms may be confused with other medical conditions such as Alzheimer's disease, at least in the early stages. People with a family history of depression seem much more vulnerable to developing depression themselves. For someone with an identical twin suffering from depression, the likelihood of developing it as well is about 50 percent. For people who have a parent or sibling with depression, the risk of developing depression appears to be around 25 percent. It still isn't clear whether this is exclusively due to genetics or from growing up in a household with a depressed family member. Interestingly enough, even people who have an adopted family member with depression have an increased risk of developing the same symptoms themselves. Though there are prominent exceptions, married people in general are less likely to develop depression than people who are either single or divorced. Also, the likelihood of depression rises sharply following divorce or the death of a spouse, often due to the grief that follows. Not surprisingly, people who are unemployed, have an uncertain job situation, or are dealing with financial problems are prone to depression. There also appears to be a link between depression and education, with people who are well educated being less likely to develop depression over time. Again, however, there are prominent exceptions, and the likelihood of depression often depends on how well people are able to cope with the financial and social problems in their lives. For reasons that are still not clear, people from different ethnic backgrounds often vary in terms of whether they will develop depression at some point. This is often linked to differences in family support as well as the greater stigma concerning mental illness in some cultures.

This stigma may make people from some ethnic groups less likely to admit to having emotional problems such as depression. As a result, the depression goes untreated and may become life threatening. People who suffer from chronic pain or other persistent medical conditions that affect the overall quality of their life often develop symptoms of depression that can make their recovery even harder. The relationship between pain and depression often leads to a vicious cycle, which can make coping much more difficult. Many people with chronic pain also develop problems with poor self-esteem and become pessimistic about their ability to move on with their lives. If you are like the respondents in a study undertaken by George Loewenstein, professor in economics and psychology at Carnegie Mellon University and director of the Center for Behavioral Decision Research, you would want the kiss three days from now. Yes, someone actually researched this question. The study, `Anticipating and the Valuation of Delayed Consumption', was published in 1987 - the year of the release of Dirty Dancing - so now we know who all the respondents in the original study wanted to kiss. The study also showed that the respondents would be willing to pay more for the experience three days from now than for having the experience right now. Every year, I prioritize a week of skiing in the Alps with my friends. Not only is it the purchase of an experience, it is also an investment in others - and something I look forward to for the half-year running up to it. Imagining my friends and me skiing down the mountain (me humming the James Bond theme), or relaxing on our balcony, with a sky that is the kind of blue that can only exist when it is paired with white, snow-covered mountains, I can already feel the warm cup of coffee in my hand and the sun on my face. The point is, in some circumstances, expectation can be a source of great joy. However, we must also be aware that, in others, expectation and ambition can be a source of misery. A calm, quiet, and peaceful efficiency apartment that isn't very special is ten times better than living in a large, luxury, and multi-bedroom home with a pool and a crazy, chaotic, and negative environment. Unpredictability, chaos, and negativity have no place in your home. You shouldn't have to live with or around anything or anyone robbing you of your happiness and peace of mind. Design your home environment to your specific wants and needs. Respect your home 100% of the time and expect all roommates, family, and children to as well. If it's not YOUR home, you should still respect it, regardless of what everyone else is doing.

It's the mature thing to do. It should be automatic. It should be the standard no matter where you are. Your home is an extension of yourself. If you don't allow family, friends, and guests to disrespect you as a person, you shouldn't allow them to disrespect your home. Expect guests to conduct themselves in a respectful manner towards you, your home, and everyone in it. Expect them to respect the boundaries and rules. Expect them to respect your other guests. Expect them to respect your furniture and pets. If you're picky about furniture, like I am, expect them to know it's not cool to put their feet on couches and furniture without asking. If someone makes a mess, expect them to respect your home enough to clean it up. If they're arguing in person or on the phone, expect them to respect your home enough to step outside. Whether to stand by and unconditionally support or to use what leverage (conditional support) they had was the toughest decision this family ever had to make, knowing they were between the proverbial rock and a hard (drug) place. It was not an easy choice for me, either, as their doctor. What if they continued to support her, no matter what, and a medical or legal disaster ensued from her behavior? What if they decided to make their support contingent and she disappeared from their lives until they got a nightmarish call from a morgue--one that would haunt me as well? In the end, this case of family and individual treatment was a success. Not all are, and some take considerably more time before safety and normalcy return. Eleanor and her second husband briefly tried the first option, offering Andrea support with no consequences for her continued drug use. But they knew soon from their son, the landlord, and the school that it wasn't working.

They got lots of promises from Andrea, in the few calls that she answered, but she continued to live one dazed day to the next. They feared the second choice, for good reason. A person in the throes of addiction, facing withdrawal and the work of rebuilding a life, will do most anything to keep the intoxication going and withdrawal at bay. I knew that and believed that reasoning with someone deep into his or her addiction has its (considerable) limits. Eleanor feared that if the family cut off Andrea's credit, which was funding the addiction--as was the drug dealing by her boyfriend--she could likely turn to getting money the old-fashioned way, by prostitution. If they ended rent payments, she could become homeless. They also imagined her wrath and potential alienation from their lives. Although we all need to take an occasional break at one point or another, if your breaks are just taken to avoid your responsibilities, then your procrastination can progress into a bad habit. Luckily, like most bad habits, it can be overcome if you make a solid decision to change. While that change cannot happen overnight, if your decision is firm, you can purposefully implement that change into your life--and you will notice the difference over time. As you may have already noticed, procrastination is a highly complex system that develops and grows. It then becomes second nature and an enormous source of frustration within the person suffering from it. This sense of frustration often comes from self-directed questions like, "Why don't I do what I need to do, when I need to do it?" or, "What on earth is wrong with me?" Questions like these can seem so relatively simple and natural to ask that we may assume their answers will also come to us with that same relative simplicity. Unfortunately, nothing could be further from the truth. We can ask ourselves about why we procrastinate until we're blue in the face, yet accomplish next to nothing. This is because habitual procrastination involves the thinking patterns and self-beliefs that we've developed over a long time. Whether it involves childhood physical or sexual abuse, being a target of bullying, or being a victim of violence, people who have been victimized are especially vulnerable to developing serious depression. This is usually linked to learned helplessness (i.e., losing confidence in our ability to take control of our life). As we can see, there are many different risk factors for depression. Even when these risk factors aren't causing the depression (such as with chronic pain), they can certainly make the depressive symptoms much worse.

This is why treatment can be so important, both in terms of treating the depression itself as well as helping sufferers cope with the additional life problems. As people grow and mature over the years, the problems they face at each stage of life will change as well. In adolescents, for example, this means coming to terms with puberty and learning how to develop intimate relationships. As they grow older and become young adults, however, new problems will arise including the need to start careers, enter long-term romantic relationships, and take on new adult roles. As time passes, new responsibilities lead to new challenges, and it can also lead to problems with depression depending on how successfully these challenges are met. While people can develop problems with depression at any age, the symptoms of depression that you experience will often change depending on the unique problems that you tend to face at these different stages of life. Research looking at depression across the life span suggests that people may become more vulnerable at different stages in their life. Many of these studies have focused on factors that can lead to depression. These factors include loneliness, life satisfaction, and psychological well-being, and longitudinal studies reveal an interesting pattern, reflecting how we change and grow over time. If you buy an experience, make sure that it is well into the future, so you can look forward to it. Six months from now, what would you like to do? See a certain band with your friends? Invite someone who you feel a lot of gratitude towards to a nice restaurant? Buy the tickets or the gift certificate now. Or go long. Ten years from now, what would be your dream experience? Start putting money aside in a separate happiness account. When I do presentations I often ask the audience to imagine two worlds. In the first world, you make L50,000 per year and everybody else makes L25,000. In the second world, you make L100,000 per year (so twice as much as before) and everybody else makes L200,000.