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In other words, good judgement required good judgement. Given this experience, Nick advised us, Develop your bullshit detection skills. <a href=''>This</a> is largely a result of life experience, hopefully as broad as is possible. <a href=''>There</a> are still too many citizens uncritically accepting BS from sources they trust, but should not. <a href=''>Nick</a> suggested that everyone has an agenda, not necessarily a nefarious one, but certainly people in all relationships have a purpose in what they are telling you and a desired outcome they are working towards. <a href=''>He</a> suggested five steps for making order-based decisions under pressing conditions: <a href=''>Assess</a> what information you have. <a href=''>Generate</a> options for how your decision might play out. <a href=' '>We</a> have simply chosen not to be controlled by it. <a href=''>He</a> describes a neighbor who used chemicals to kill weeds in accordance with the no-till technology, which is supposed to save farmers time and help to conserve soil, but which killed off nesting bobolinks. <a href='*/'>In</a> Great Possessions Kline laments the loss that farmers will sustain who are eager to ease the burden of their work with the chemicals required by no-till: Presently no-till farming with its dependence on vast amounts of chemicals is being touted by the experts as the way to guarantee green fields forever. <a href=''>What</a> they fail to say is that those green fields will be strangely silent--gone will be the bobolink, the meadowlark, and the sweet song of the vesper sparrow in the twilight. <a href=''>Kline</a> emphasizes the type of crop rotation that discourages insects and thus eliminates the need for insecticides. <a href=''>When</a> corn follows hay, he advises, there are fewer crop-damaging insects. <a href=''>He</a> paraphrases Wes Jackson on what is often described as the tedium of farming: The pleasantness or unpleasantness of farm work depends upon the scale--upon the size of the field and the size of the crop. <a href=''>By</a> staying with the horse, the Amish have maintained a proper scale, says Kline. <a href=''>With</a> farms the size of his, there is always something to do, yet farmers are not overwhelmed. <a href=''>Families</a> work together and thereby grow together. <a href=''>Here</a> I was trying to copy them, and they weren't telling me what they were really doing. <a href=''>There</a> was one time when I paid for specialized training and flew all the way to Hawaii to learn the secrets of a successful networker from Japan. <br /><br /><a href=''>I</a> sat in the front row, and after four hours of hearing nothing on how to improve my business, I finally just stood up and asked, You've been telling us for an hour now that you had so many new clients and customers that your business started booming. <a href=''>How</a> did you get those customers? <a href=''>He</a> was evasive, and it was obvious he didn't want to tell me. <a href=''>I</a> refused to sit down. <a href=''>In</a> front of about two hundred top people I rephrased my questions. <a href=''>You</a> said that three nights a week you packed a room full of new customers. <a href=''>How,</a> exactly, did you pack the room? <a href=''>He</a> started to sweat. <a href=''>It</a> seemed otherwise impossible to move from being alone, staring at a text or a digital profile, toward that place of abandon where we wanted to be. <a href=''>Or,</a> worse, to tolerate coming home alone AGAIN when the date was a bomb. <a href=''>This</a> is rough and raw stuff. <a href=''>Jardine</a> was single when she got sober, and she shyly reluctantly nervously finally made an online dating profile. <a href=''>She</a> checked the box for sober herself, and wrote that it was a priority, and she also clicked it as a priority in whoever she was seeking. <a href=''>A</a> sober guy who lived in Austin, too, and taught wood shop and was wearing pine-green corduroys in his photo started corresponding with her, so they met for coffee. <a href=''>They</a> made clumsy conversation. <a href=''>He</a> was starving, and she wasn't, so she watched him wolf down a big plate of eggs. <a href=''>He</a> apologized for being so hungry, and she laughed because he was funny, and they decided to make another date. <a href=''>He'd</a> had more time sober, and more practice at sober dating, so when he came to get her in his banged-up silver truck, he already knew where they were going. <a href=''>Make</a> assessments on positives and negatives. <a href=''>Refer</a> to your own experience or engage those who have more. <br /><br /><a href=''>Use</a> deadlines to spur action and avoid perfectionism. <a href=''>If</a> we assess the words that we heard repeated most often throughout the interview portion of our research,values' would be right at the top of the list. Although, as we discovered with words such as leadership' andresilience', single words seem to have numerous definitions. One of the people we've turned to over the years for advice on our business concerns is Tony Harris. Tony has built and exited multiple businesses, and yet, despite having a finance background and a clearly commercial streak, he is someone others also look to as a community leader and whose council they seek on making business and life work harmoniously. This led us into a conversation about the importance of building values-based businesses and communities. Not agreement, but respect. Tony very much subscribes to the ethos that success is better when shared. While doing chores with his son, Kline was able to hear about the issues of adolescence. When he, his wife, and five of their children bundled straw on a thirteen-acre wheat field (a chore called shocking), the job was soon finished because everyone helped. Kline's Amish upbringing does not seem to have limited his acquaintance with the world. He writes knowledgeably not only of farming practices but also wildlife and geology. In Great Possessions he includes a detailed history of three alien species intentionally introduced which are considered by many to have become pests--the starling, house sparrow, and carp. He states that Hotspur's line in I Henry IV about starlings led to their being brought to America: Nay, I'll have a starling shall be taught to speak / nothing but Mortimer. <a href=''>The</a> desire to live simply is not new: Ben Jonson praised the virtues of Penshurst; <a href=''>Thomas</a> Jefferson declared that his new nation should be one of yeoman farmers; <a href=''>Antiquarianism</a> is also not new: most societies have a form of the belief that somewhere and at some time, people lived simpler, nobler, more meaningful lives, whether in a golden age of the past or a more primitive place in contemporary times. <a href=''>It</a> is understandable that people romanticize a culture based on strong family values, self-sufficiency, and identification with place. <a href=''>He</a> answered, It's easy to get customers, but that's not what I am teaching. <a href=''>He</a> started showing us pictures of his great office, his Rolls Royce, and his checks. <br /><br /><a href=''>I</a> stood again. <a href=''>In</a> your area, you are not allowed to run any advertising. <a href=''>How</a> did you pack a room? <a href=''>How</a> can I learn to pack a room? <a href=';pid=891019;zid=0;pbg=0;cid=0;ctcid=0;mid=0;sid=0;redirecturl=http://'>What</a> I really wanted to say was, You have no right to get up onstage and teach if you aren't going to teach us how to duplicate you. <a href='[]=%3Ca+href%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2F'>The</a> fact was, he didn't want to teach me. <a href='[]=%3Ca+href%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2F'>I</a> would be his competition someday, and he didn't want to help me. <a href='[]=%3Ca+href%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2F'>After</a> he was off the stage, I didn't stop. <a href='[]=%3Ca+href=%22http://'>Dinner</a> at a vegetarian Italian joint, then on to pinball and Red Bulls, then an old-school soda fountain for ice cream. <a href='[]=%3Ca+href%3Dhttps%3A%2F%2F'>They</a> hung out for hours, and he kissed her when he dropped her off. <a href=''>It</a> was superfun, and yet Jardine balked at how close they'd felt, the ordinary intimacy that was so different from the one-night stand, and almost more painful to handle. <a href='[]=test+machine+(%3Ca+href%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2F'>She</a> hid, and they didn't keep dating, but she felt empowered from the experience. <a href='[]=trial+run+(%3Ca+href%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2F'>They</a> decided to be friends, and hung out for a year before they fell in love, and started a relationship that thrives to this day. <a href=''>Maybe</a> those uncomfortable places that occur in early dating are building blocks to a strong bond. <a href='<a+href%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2F>lunch+time<%2Fa>'>Maybe</a> good things take time. <a href=''>Maybe</a> we have to go out into the world before we know what we want if we're going to get what we want. <a href=''>Amanda</a> was long married with three kids when she got sober. <a href=''>Date</a> night always meant escape and reconnection, a time to remember who she and her husband were as lovers and adults, a time to find fun. <a href=''>But</a> this is not a function of softness, but rather something Tony sees as critical to community building:The risk, I think, is that we might lose our ability to communicate in multiple directions. Technology has us all set to broadcast.

If we're not actually engaging in communication with different people, in different circumstances, having different life experiences to us, then all we're really demonstrating is that we're not interested in them. What Tony was alluding to was that the idea of order, whether social, organisational or even familial, boils down to an agreed set of values: laws, rules and conventions around behaviour are simply an attempt to codify what we believe to be true. Throughout history, an ability to agree on codes of conduct has been critical to ensuring harmonious family and community life. As the scale of our concept of family, kin and society has increased from familial to tribal to national and even global, this ability will not only continue to be essential, its importance will only increase as we become more interconnected and interdependent. This makes the ability to assert and apply order a Forever Skill. Establish a sense of certainty. Strive for absolute clarity. Hold yourself and others accountable. Pictures of Amish farms and buggies decorate calendars, and people look to the Amish example for evidence of the strength of community. Residents of this area enjoy the musical sound of shod horse hooves on pavement and the sight of buggies along the sides of roads. We often frame our vision, however, to suit our ideals. The workmen who built Penshurst and the servants who labored there lived in a stratified society that offered them few choices; Although diversified farming helps to protect ecosystems, and Amish separation from the world necessitates admirable self-reliance, they employ modern conveniences, and they sometimes hold their communities together by coercion, not cooperation. As a child I visited many Amish farms with my father, and for a time I envied their way of life. After moving to Ashland County, I observed more closely. I knew that they live, work, and trade with non-Amish, but I did not know the extent to which they use modern products and equipment. My first surprise was in seeing them in the grocery stores in Loudonville buying items like frozen pizza and ice cream, which they pack into Coleman containers for the ride home. They cannot own cars or telephones, but they can rent them: many communities before the age of cell phones installed coin-operated telephones for community use. By that time, I had taught a lot onstage myself and had helped hundreds of people improve their sales. One of his direct associates who worked with him came up to me.