T he mind is typically broken down into two pieces. It is your conscious mind--the part that you can control--and the unconscious mind--which you cannot. Both parts of the mind are incredibly important and yet, they cannot properly communicate together. They are constantly attempting to connect to each other. They are constantly attempting to get in alignment, but all too often, you tell yourself one thing but the unconscious mind produces the exact opposite result. Many years in fact. And the reality is: my childhood was not my fault. The sexual abuse was not my fault. Addiction was not my fault. Alcohol was a tool that I found and thought to be successful at that time. And it is successful at numbing, if numbing is what you want. But numbing is not what anybody needs. You might think you do, but it's not what anyone needs--not ever. I used to think of drinking as self-care when times were tough. Drink wine, eat chocolate, watch chick flicks--it all seemed to go hand in hand. Line a 12-cup muffin pan with paper liners. In a medium bowl, combine the pastry flour, coconut flour, cinnamon, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. In a large bowl, combine the eggs, 3/4 cup Sucanat, the applesauce, oil, and 1/4 tea-spoon stevia. Using an electric mixer on low speed, beat until well blended. Let stand for 10 minutes.

Add the flour mixture and beat on medium speed for 1 minute, or until smooth. Stir in the carrots, 1/4 cup pecans, and the raisins or apricots. Divide the batter among the muffin cups. Bake for 25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center of the cupcakes comes out clean. Cool in the pan on a rack for 5 minutes. Imagine, for example, that you desperately want to drive again after your accident. Well, your mind may assume that your desire to drive is not actually a desire to drive, and instead, it creates those feelings of fear. You fear driving because your unconscious mind, with the current paradigm that it has developed, makes you fear it. This means that, when you get behind the wheel, you are immediately overcome by that fear. Instead of being able to see that your fear is overwhelming you and overcoming it, you are behaving fearfully. Your unconscious mind does not understand that it is not giving you what it wants, and if it understood what you were asking of it, it would be able to do so. T he way to the unconscious mind, however, is a tricky one. It is oftentimes through the body. You can begin to understand what the unconscious mind is thinking or doing by stopping to look at the body language of an individual--including yourself. You can learn to recognize the body language that will guide you; Or eat comfort food, drink comfortable old alcohol--yet it's all just escapism. We can't spend our whole lives escaping from reality. We're not being authentic, and we're not facing up to what is actually an incredible life and an incredible world out there. At the end of the day, there is no amount of shit, no amount of obstacles, no amount of reasons that are enough to keep drinking when it's spiralling out of control. We are all worthy of so much better.

I have conquered shit, and dealt with obstacles, and yes it was fucking hard, and still is at times, but that is reality. But, if I can do it, anyone can do it, and trust me it is absolutely worth it. Recovery 101 Now I'm going to do something crazy, which is to summarise the recovery process in around 4000 words. It's a bit of a ridiculous thing to do given that changing drinking habits is an incredibly complicated and multifaceted process that plays out differently for everyone. Remove from the pan and cool completely on a rack. In a medium bowl, with an electric mixer on low speed, beat the cream cheese, milk, the remaining 1 teaspoon Sucanat, and the remaining 4 drops stevia until fluffy. Frost the cupcakes and sprinkle with the remaining 1/4 cup pecans. Per cupcake: 246 calories 4 g protein 27 g carbohydrates 14 g total fat 3 g saturated fat 4 g fiber 257 mg sodium MOCHA GRANITA THIS IS CHOCOLATEY ENOUGH to satisfy the deepest of cravings. For a creamier version, scrape the frozen granita into a food processor and pulse for 10 to 15 seconds, or until smooth. Serve with a dollop of whipped cream for a rich sugar-blocking effect, but you can also eat this after a meal of meat and vegetables. Prep time: 10 minutes Total time: 5 hours You can usually figure out the way that your unconscious mind thinks by seeing what it does to the body language that you are using, and likewise, you can contact the unconscious mind through the use of body language as well. I n fact, this happens regularly with the use of NLP--you will see both mirroring and the pace and lead techniques. These two techniques are highly dependent upon body language. You will see how rapport comes about through body language. You will see that anchoring is often done through body language as well.

T he body language that you have is typically read by the unconscious mind. It is an unconscious form of communication from person to person and when you can acknowledge that it is unconscious, you can then begin to better tap into it. You can see the ways in which you need to change your actions. You can see how you can interact with other people in a way that is effective. Ultimately, all you have to do is figure out the right way in which you can achieve that bridge. However, among all the various unique and personal aspects that make up each individual's journey, there are many similar issues and common scenarios that arise. We all have to deal with cravings. We all have to learn how to socialise sober. We all have to shift our hardwired thinking. We all have to learn how to sit with uncomfortable emotions. And we all have to formulate new habits. I'm fairly well versed in each of these recovery processes, having not only gone through it all myself, but also having borne intimate witness to loads of others going through it as well--most notably in my role as the community manager at livingsober. So, bearing in mind that I am summarising and generalising massively, here is a breakdown of some of the main things you will encounter when transitioning from being a drinker to being a non-drinker (if that's what you want to do). They will come and they will suck. Cravings manifest in the physical body, but they also feature very loudly in the mind. Makes 6 servings 1/2 cup Sucanat 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder 1/4 cup spoonable stevia (about 16 packets) In a large saucepan, combine the Sucanat, cocoa powder, salt, and water and bring to a boil.

Reduce the heat to medium and cook for 2 minutes, stirring constantly, or until the Sucanat is dissolved. Remove the saucepan from the heat and stir in the chocolate, whisking until melted and smooth. Stir in the coffee, stevia, vanilla, and nutmeg until blended. Pour the mixture into a 9 x 9 baking pan. Cover tightly with foil and freeze for 3 hours, or until frozen along the edges. N euro-Linguistic Programming Defined Ultimately, NLP, then, can be broken up into three key processes that define it. You must consider these three namesakes carefully to truly understand what it is that NLP is and what it has to offer. N euro refers to the wiring within the brain. It is a direct reference to the nervous system and the brain. It is how we process the senses that we have and encompasses all five of our natural senses. This part of the word is essentially how we sense the world around us. It is our experiences--it is how we process them. It is the way in which you physically processed that car accident or that awkward interview or the feelings that you had when you got into an argument with someone. It is some sort of way that your body perceives the way that your external world has interacted with you. So while your body will yearn and pine for its chemical fix, making you feel itchy and uncomfortable, your brain will also throw the biggest bloody wobbly you have heard for a very long time. My cravings mostly consisted of a wall of words inside my head trying to convince me to drink. Just a constant stream of thoughts coming at me--in my own voice, no less--urging me to pick up a drink. Justifications, excuses, reasons, ploys. Sometimes it would go on for hours.