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They're often the ones who have the most engaged fans, too, because we want our athletes to be real people we can relate to. So even if you're an accomplished competitor, you might want to assess how many of your posts relate to your sport, what you're projecting to the world, and how this impacts how you view yourself. If you see that your self-worth has become dictated by your results, try to reassess your own standards and introduce new interests that broaden your perspective on life. Does This Shirt Make My Arms Look Small? When we think of image-related disorders, the first to come to mind are those that are eating-related, like bulimia and anorexia. These are obviously very serious and pervasive conditions, yet they're not the only problems of this type. There are also conditions in which people who are big and strong see a hollowed-out, puny reflection when they look in a mirror. This is one example of a condition known in the medical community as body dysmorphic disorder, and it cannot fail to be perpetuated by the selfies that other musclemen and women continually post. However, in other contexts, it can hurt others who hear this, suggesting a judgment that thinness is better and fatter bodies are bad. Please be considerate of context when discussing these issues. At the same time, it may cause harm to others. After all, you may be wondering, if Lindo thinks they're too fat, how are they judging bodies that are actually fat? I want to acknowledge the tension and offer this insight with the hope that readers can focus on the problem being in the internalized cultural idea, not my body or your body. More common is to experience heartburn. Parenthetically, Yoda was also my nickname in college. I never asked why it was bestowed on me, scared I might learn it had more to do with my small stature or looks than anything else. My favorite Yoda quote, which inspired me in managing the stigma put on my short stature: Size matters not. Look at me. Maslow, Motivation and Personality, 2nd ed. Virginia M.

Shiller, The Attachment Bond: Affectional Ties across the Lifespan (Lanham, MD: Lexington articles, 2017). Knight, The Use of the `Corrective Emotional Experience' and the Search for the Bad Object in Psychotherapy, American Journal of Psychotherapy 59, no. Naslund et al. Eilis McCaughan, Kader Parahoo, Irene Hueter, Laurel Northouse, and Ian Bradbury, Online Support Groups for Women with Breast Cancer, Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews 3, no. Boothby, Margaret S. Clark, and John A. Bargh, Shared Experiences Are Amplified, Psychological Science 25, no. Alexis Elder, Excellent Online Friendships: An Aristotelian Defense of Social Media, Ethics and Information Technology 16 (2014): 287-97, doi:10. It might be an extreme example, but looking at the latest pics or vintage shots of Arnold Schwarzenegger is enough to give anyone an inferiority complex. If you can draw inspiration from Arnie or someone else who has what you consider to be the perfect physique, that's great. But as VitalityPro cofounder Dr Frank Merritt says, They should inspire you not to become them but to become the best version of you. It's also self-destructive to constantly compare yourself to the looks of celebrities or stats of pro athletes. Competition is beneficial in many ways, but when we're focusing on either the aesthetics--looking like the latest Hollywood action star, say--or the performance--like the one-rep maxes of your favorite football player--of others who you won't actually be competing against, you're chasing the unobtainable and will only end up disappointed and probably injured. It's not just beach and gym photos of actors and athletes that can become harmful. Some world-class competitors post videos of themselves doing crazy exercises and workouts that they can get away with because of their proficiency but that are far beyond the reach of the average person. In our culture of celebrity obsession, we think, Well if so-and-so is doing this, I need to be doing it, too, and try to replicate their exploits. Maybe we even post pictures of ourselves emulating our heroes and heroines--right before we tear a muscle, slip a disc, or drop that ludicrously heavy weight on ourselves. While we need to push ourselves and test our capabilities, imitating elite athletes is not the way to go about it, particularly when they're doing exercises that can be a one-way ticket to the office of your chiropractor, physical therapist, or orthopedic surgeon. Judge me by my size, do you? And well you should not.

For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. BEYOND SELF-LOVE Loving yourself as is. Loving yourself just because you're enough. Loving your body because it's your home. Self-love is a feeling, not an idea. It's your birthright. Self-love isn't conditional. Boothby, Clark, and Bargh, Shared Experiences Are Amplified. Donald Woods Winnicott, The Theory of the Parent-Infant Relationship, The International Journal of Psycho-analysis 41 (1960): 585-95. Priscilla Fishler, Michael Sperling, and Arthur Carr, Assessment of Adult Relatedness: A Review of Empirical Findings from Object Relations and Attachment Theories, Journal of Personality Assessment 55, no. Burn, Six Hallmarks of Codependence, Psychology Today, April 27, 2016, https://www. Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself (New York: Harper/Hazelden, 1986). Yurasek, Social Media Use during the College Transition (master's thesis, University of South Florida, 2014), text available at https://scholarcommons. Walton et al. Balancing the Virtual and the Actual Life Happiness depends on ourselves. Many people struggle with being able to balance their busy lives. Tech + Exercise = Addiction Amplified Though studies find that most people buy wearables to try to improve their health, our activity trackers and smartwatches soon become yet another way to obsessively check our e-mail and send and receive texts every few minutes.

One survey found that the typical American touches his or her phone 2,617 times a day, and that's not taking into account the additional interactions people have with their fitness-related devices. On a message, maybe. But you may lose something else if you turn on this function and are texting and e-mailing while exercising. How is that going to improve your workout or, more importantly, the learning you should gain from it? Though Washington Post columnist Mark Smith had some positive things to report while wearing three activity trackers for a year, he also admitted that there were many downsides, including constant notifications: The watch, in tandem with the phone in my pocket and the wearables on my other wrist, have allowed me to become part machine. Digital information now courses through me, delivered in deliberate and learned sets of vibrations. And yet many people can go a day, a week, or longer with little to no actual human touch. Smith's colleague Nora Krug decided to ditch the technology when she realized that data and music had become a crutch. We don't love ourselves because we've lost a few pounds. If that were part of the deal, we'd have to withdraw our love when we regain the weight. Instead, self-love is appreciation for the underlying you that persists through the changes. It is unconditionally valuing yourself. It's about showing compassion for yourself when you get rejected and devalued--and knowing you're okay, just right actually, anyway. It's about showing compassion for yourself when you come up against parts of yourself that you don't like. It's about forgiving yourself for the things you've done to survive and how that may have wired into habits that don't serve you as well today. Self-love is also about allowing ourselves to feel rage at the people and culture that have hurt us, grieving for the loss of a loving relationship with our bodies, and opening to the possibility of connection and belonging. NOT A MAGIC BULLET There's a myth in the body positivity movement that teaches us that when you're feeling unwelcome in the world because of your body, self-love is the magic bullet. Between work, school, family, and all the other responsibilities that encompass living, adding technology into the mix makes achieving balance even harder. A recent study by RescueTime Blog found that

We spend three hours and fifteen minutes a day on average on our phones The average person checks their phone fifty-eight times a day and We rarely go for more than two hours without touching our phones. Our gadgets have a seductive and enticing quality that makes them hard to ignore, let alone put down! We indulge our curiosity the second we hear the ding from an incoming e-mail or text. Social media pulls us in to see what our friends are doing so we can squash our fear of missing out. The newest news alert pops up on our screen, screaming for our attention. What was once meant to make our lives easier and less complicated is doing the opposite: when logged on, we're more stressed out, more depressed, and more anxious than ever. After reverting to tech-free outdoor swims, yoga sessions, and runs, she told her readers, I'm beginning to miss the technology less and less. I can hear my breath and the sound of my feet. I am more aware of how my body is moving and of the cars and dogs along the path. Birds provide the music. And just because I don't record my workouts for posterity, it doesn't mean they don't count. In fact, they matter even more. The New Neediness The maker of the sensor-equipped tennis racket that we mentioned earlier promises users a special badge for each new improvement. One popular app now offers a virtual trophy case to showcase your accomplishments. This is the same kind of operant conditioning psychologist B. Unfortunately, there are limits to the self-love prescription--its effectiveness drops off where your self meets others in a society that dehumanizes you in your body. If you feel bad in your body, it's because our culture has targeted your body for abuse.