Sending and receiving the molecules of energy that you want more of in your life call you to be mindful of yourself in your current situation. You can be aware of your reactions, perceptions, and beliefs in the moment, so that you can be intentional with the feelings you choose to activate within yourself. When you are with other people, ask yourself these two key questions: Are you sharing molecules that make you happy? Are you receiving molecules that make you happy? Are You Sharing Molecules That Make You Happy? Most of us have grown up believing that our body, thoughts, and feelings are ours alone. We have believed that we are wholly contained beings within ourselves and that what happens within us stays within us and does not affect anybody else. We now know that what we are feeling sends molecules of energy that impact others. Are you sending molecules of energy that bring you the kind of outcomes you really want? I imagine that you can recall a time when you had a heated argument with someone you love and care about, and that during the argument you felt so strongly about your viewpoint and what was right according to your perspective that you could not focus on anything else. Arm gestures: Arm-crossing is a defensive body language because it signifies that you are not interested in the conversation. You must practice the art of keeping your hands by the side in a comfortable position or when you are sitting, you must keep the hands on your lap in order to exhibit openness and acceptance. Firm handshakes: A proper handshake can create a good atmosphere to strike a meaningful conversation with another individual. It assigns instant credibility and trustworthiness about you as a person whereas weaker handshakes make you appear as a person with low self-esteem. However, you must not shake the other person's hands too hard; Regular eye contact: in a healthy conversation, two people talk to each other and look into each other's eyes regularly regardless of whether you are the speaker or the listener. You need not stare at the other person and should blink or look around sometimes. Maintaining eye contact helps in developing a healthy communication process. Taking notes: when another person is talking, it is a good practice to note down the good points of the conversation. In this way, you will increase your knowledge base that acts as food for thought in case you wish to counter any point mentioned by the speaker.

Patients are usually aware of the demands of different settings--home, public clinic, private office, disability agency, courtroom--and how these help cast the story in a certain form. Similarly, health professionals, when they stop to think about it (and in the exigency of the clinical day most do not), recognize that how they listen to these accounts constrains the telling and the hearing. The busy surgeon in an emergency unit, the obstetrician on hospital rounds, the internist in a union or industry clinic, the psychiatrist in a state hospital ward or in a private office, the exhausted intern, the professor out to make a point about bioethics--all attend differently. The way they nod their head, fidget, or look at the patient influences how the patient tells the illness story. Moreover, the priorities of the practitioner lead to selective attention to the patient's account, so that some aspects are carefully listened for and heard (sometimes when they are not spoken), while other things that are said--and even repeated--are literally not heard. The physician's training also encourages the dangerous fallacy of over-literal interpretation of accounts best understood metaphorically. I regard these phenomena as the way clinical reality--the definition of the problem at hand and the awareness of the others' expectations about how to act therapeutically--is constructed differently by different health professionals interacting with different patients in different settings. Financial issues, the ubiquitous bottom line in a capitalist society, loom large as a not-so-hidden interest in clinical encounters and not infrequently distort clinical communication and practice. Clinicians (and researchers, too) need to unpack their own interpretive schemes, which are portmanteaus filled with personal and cultural biases. They also must rethink the versions of the clinical world they create. It also is doing the best job it can in containing and holding the sickness, disease, emotion, traumas, and other imbalances that it holds within it; This may mean that your inner six-year-old is very afraid and needs protection, or that your body needs to release inflammation, anger, fear, jealousy, grief, or depression and is protecting itself because it would be too overwhelming to release it all at once. Our minds are funny in their capacity to seek protection by resisting. When we heal in a significant way we must shift physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Whatever level we are working on reverberates out to the other levels. While much of our resistance does come from fear, and understandable fear at that, it is our minds that lock us into place, that tell us that we cannot heal, that we are not worthy of healing, and that it would be too frightening to go through the death process (not revealing, of course, that rebirth is on the other side). Our minds tell us to stay with the known, because we know what to expect. Even if our lives are deeply unhappy, we know what to expect in our routine, and there is a sense of safety there. Our minds will take on black-and-white, either-or thinking as a form of resistance. If we are not exercising, we set up a plan to exercise for 60 minutes every day.

For yet others, it is an unconscious way of doing what was done to them, a learned response, a kind of self-sabotage that demonstrates to the world that they feel unworthy of life. Creating Safety The most typical way of creating internal safety is to dissociate and allow the most capable alter for the situation to emerge. That can happen in myriad ways, be it an angry alter who keeps everyone safe when feeling threatened by someone or an alter who numbs the system to keep another part from committing suicide. As therapy progresses, the system will begin to learn to work together, in a more conscious way, to create safety and learn to tolerate a wide range of emotion. Reinforcement of Misbeliefs about Self and Others Individuals with DID share many common beliefs about themselves and the world. Some of the beliefs, such as, I am a bad person and deserved to be abused, are untrue. Others, however, may be based partially in truth. A person may hold the belief that men cannot be trusted because she was abused by a male caretaker. What type of person did something like this? What happened to Will and why he did what he did became her obsession. The more she thought about him, the unhappier she became and the more her sense of abandonment grew. Marissa secluded herself at home, drowning in depression and bitterness. She had never felt so alone. But then after a few weeks, it hit her: Why am I suffering for five weeks over eight dates in two weeks? She thanked God it didn't go on for months, or it would have taken her years to recover. She realized that she had given Will more than he deserved, but more important, the degree of pain and grief she felt couldn't possibly be just over this man. Six weeks later, Marissa signed back on to the dating service, and her friends were happy but encouraged her to take things slow and go easy on herself. I've taken six weeks to grieve, Marissa said.

Look into these things and try to compare how mindfulness can bring positive results to these problem areas and goals in life that you have. When you check your life as well as what mindfulness can do, you'll be more encouraged to try. Apply the nothing-to-lose mindset. When it comes to practicing mindfulness, you will not be required to go on a diet, to give something, etc therefore, there is nothing to lose when you try it. When you have this mindset, you will be encouraged to try and embrace the importance of mindfulness and see if it really can work for you. When you are able to start practicing mindfulness, you are now increasing your chances to achieve success in this quest. DO MEDITATION Meditation is an effective way to achieve mindfulness because it lets you get in touch with your mind and inner self. Since meditation is focusing and concentrating on yourself and not the outside world and distractions, you are able to practice paying close attention to reality at the moment, helping you master mindfulness. How to Meditate to Achieve Mindfulness: When these kinds of things trigger our survival instincts, our brains immediately go to work to explain the situation. Why did that person do that? Why did he say that? Is it true? Do I really suck and should just throw in the towel? Studies like Kuleshov's experiment show that our brain can't avoid telling us a story to make sense of and find patterns and meaning in seemingly random things. This explains, for example, how the real story Once upon a time, my mom asked me why I didn't take better care of myself and told me to watch my weight leads to the lie I am fat. That lie causes pain, and our mind strives to make sense of that pain. That pain was also an unanticipated part of our story, which introduces the question all stories ask: What happens next? The attempt to find meaning in this part of our story, and answer that question in an effort to inform future behavior, gives birth to a work of fiction: I am ugly, and I'm going to be single and all alone forever.

I've pissed away so much time and money, the recollection of which is like a weight tied to my ankles as I try to swim to the surface. We're all wastrels. Each one of us is short of where we could be. For the warrior, this is encouraging. There's room to grow. There's a challenge ahead. No matter where you are there's light in your future. You're nowhere near your potential. You haven't come close to realizing what you're capable of. It sucks to realize this. You might have wondered, How could he think that? Is he crazy? He just doesn't understand! If he did, he wouldn't think that way! During the argument, with your many roiling thoughts and feelings, you probably didn't slow down and remember how much you cared about this person in your life. You likely argued your point and stayed with your beliefs and felt so strongly that, without awareness, you sent your loved one only molecules of anger, fear, or resentment, which would push that person away from you. It takes only a small moment of awareness of yourself and a small shift to create more of what you really want. When you are arguing with someone you love, deep down, you probably really want to have a closer relationship with this person. You probably also want greater understanding between the two of you. Being able to send molecules to your loved one that match your true desires can happen at the same time you are having other feelings--even during an argument.