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Does life feel in a hurry or out of control, or do you feel as if you're making steady progress toward a goal? How do your boundaries--or lack of them--contribute to the state of your life? The reward for wise boundaries is the joy of desires fulfilled in life. It's being able to say, as Paul did, The time for my departure is near. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith (2 Timothy 4:6-7) (p. What will you do to stand strong against this resistance? What weapons do you now have in your arsenal? People with mature boundaries know that they will face resistance to their limits. They plan ahead (p. Does your life tend toward a frantic or a steady pace? Does life feel in a hurry or out of control, or do you feel as if you're making steady progress toward a goal? How do your boundaries--or lack of them--contribute to the state of your life? The reward for wise boundaries is the joy of desires fulfilled in life. It's being able to say, as Paul did, The time for my departure is near. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith (2 Timothy 4:6-7) (p. What will you do to stand strong against this resistance? What weapons do you now have in your arsenal? People with mature boundaries know that they will face resistance to their limits. She's absolutely right. I could know if I wanted to know.

It's exactly because I think it's too overwhelming, too unbearable, too shameful, that I don't want to know. The thought sits heavily upon me, like treacle on a sponge. I don't want to know about my parts. I hate them. I hate what they represent. I hate having to have parts. I hate being different. I hate being messed-up. Ability to understand the needs, feelings, and beliefs of other people Ability to see how other people perceive them Ability to see how their own behavior affects others The problems with understanding other people's needs, feelings, and perspectives lead people with BPD to run over the boundaries of other people. They unwittingly place unreasonable demands on people, feel entitled to special treatment, and become enraged when they don't get what they want. We discuss all these issues and more in this article. Standing in Other People's Shoes Perspective taking involves being able to comprehend the views, feelings, and needs of other people. Having this ability often leads to success in relationships, school performance, and job performance, as well as empathy for others. Good therapists have this skill in abundance. Because of my ADD, I'm very impulsive and can't stay focused on a task. If I want to do something, I jump up and do it.

Multitasking is my enemy! Also, paying a compliment to someone makes me feel as vulnerable as lying naked in the middle of the street. The people who have inspired me have always been real, and not famous. People who seem to have good luck all the time inspire me. I am very much impressed by the funny things that people say, whether they are famous or not. I try to remember these gems and make them my own. Humor is so important to me. If someone thinks I'm funny, I find it consummately flattering. I don't know why he shouted. I just asked him about his monthly report. Toxic people may play thinking games that are too complicated for the normal brain. They will provoke their targets with sensational jabs and comments and then use their natural confrontational responses to prove that their targets are unreasonable. They like to lure their goals into situations that indicate that they are victims of abuse. In workplaces where impressions matter, your visible aggression will be negatively evaluated. No one wants to care about the events that led to this outbreak. Break the Limit Sorry, I called you can fool the other day. But when you give a speech like a fool, what can I say! Like the window of tolerance, Medusa is a basic frame we can offer people to guide their overall practice. In my second session with Dylan, I spoke to him about the Medusa problem.

He was frustrated that his meditation practice--which had been grounding and vitalizing for several years--was making things worse. In our first conversation, my goal was to empathize with Dylan and normalize his experience. He'd gone through something traumatic, and his mind and body were responding in ways intended to keep him safe. I wanted Dylan to know how much respect I had for the parts of him that were trying to protect him, even though I knew they were causing him distress. I hadn't thought of it that way, Dylan said in our conversation, surprised by what I'd covered. I thought I needed to get over this problem, not appreciate it. In the coming weeks, Dylan developed compassion for the way he was constantly tracking for danger. We talked about what it meant for him to be transgender, and given his history, why it was understandable he'd be compulsively searching for safety. I learned a lot about nature and the energy in the forest. The older men deliberately sought out places of power in which to do their physical exercises, and they became pain-free as a result. I perceived these high-energy places as bright spots - like very bright smoke or light flickering through the area, or transparent confetti sprayed into the air. Sometimes, instead of their sports exercises, the men played music together. Their joy and the good vibrations that resulted from this remain happy memories to me to this day. I had completely different experiences with my paternal grandfather. His large farm was located in the forests around Augsburg and he was mainly concerned with investments - for him, everything revolved around money (one got the feeling that he may have invented Monopoly). He was not only interested in investing in large projects, but also loved winning money from playing Schafkopf, a traditional Bavarian card game. As my grandfather soon realized that I could remember all the cards that had been played, he taught me the rules of the game. I was allowed to play with the adults or in a team with my grandfather, and whomever I played with won every round. What happened to me happens to many people, and it's a tragedy: The caregiver is so worn down from caretaking, and the dying so worn down from fighting to live, that we miss out on the very thing that matters. Replay, please, I would think.

I'd like a replay of that whole thing. Her death should have been more sacred. One thing it taught me is this: It's time to rehumanize death, to allow it to be holy and special and caring. Death is not a medical or personal failure. It is the natural conclusion to life. I think my rancher friend knew this. At a certain stage of life, aggressive medical treatment can become sanctioned torture, and when I compared these two deaths in my mind, all I could think was: May we all be in a position to look up at someone we love and pull the oxygen mask from our face. I know this is hard. They also know that, should it be needed, a no is waiting inside the heart--ready to be used not for an attack, not to punish, but to protect and develop the time, talents, and treasures that God has allocated to them (Psalm 90:10) (p. A Day in a Life with Boundaries Remember Sherrie from article 1? She was stumbling through the day in a haphazard, out-of-control fashion. But then imagine that she has read this article, and has made significant progress. Look again at a day in her life now that she has boundaries (pp. Be specific. What in her comments to her heavenly Father is new and/or especially freeing for you? To what do you attribute her success? Take time, as Sherrie did, to thank God! They also know that, should it be needed, a no is waiting inside the heart--ready to be used not for an attack, not to punish, but to protect and develop the time, talents, and treasures that God has allocated to them (Psalm 90:10) (p. A Day in a Life with Boundaries