But that's beside the point. Am I jealous? I don't think so. If it was jealousy, there'd be some feeling of anger or hate, but there isn't. As I read these stories they seemed to have one thing in common. They all had a sense of patience. For example, I came to a story of a young girl who lived in a small rural town. She somehow grew up with patience. Her father died when she was 7 years old and her mother worked long hours to support them. She lived in a beautiful country surrounded by wonderful people . They all loved her like she was one of them. She grew up as an honest, giving, and loving person. She lived in such a wonderful town that everyone returned the feeling. As a result she was always welcomed to somebody's home. It's perfectly okay to take a day off (or longer) whenever you need, but it is important to do the days in the order we present them. Each day's insights and practices build on the preceding ones, so to get the most out of the article, be sure to do Days 1-14 sequentially. After, in part 3, we'll give you the tools to create a working template going forward and cement what you've done during the boot camp into lifelong habits. Life can, indeed, be stressful. But within all its messy complexity are also the joys, empowering challenges, and rewards that make being human the rich experience that it is. We don't want you to miss out on one more minute of it because of stress.

With these tools, you will be able to ride the ups and downs with grace, and to cultivate the unshakable inner confidence that comes from knowing you can deftly handle whatever comes your way. Missing Peace One Nation, Under Stress Meet Heather, forty-six. It can't be envy either, because I don't want to be in Michael's shoes. So what is it? I tried to think back to how I felt at the time. That's a way I've discovered. It's so hard to explain. Do you understand? Therapist: It's really hard to put into words, isn't it? It's not jealousy or envy, yet there is a kind of an uncomfortable feeling there, is that it? Henry: Uncomfortable in a way, but that's still not it exactly. Why should it be so hard to put it into words? When she got older she had many options on what she could choose to do. She was a talented dancer and really wanted to be a ballet dancer . Yet she was always the baby in her family. Her sister was running the farm and she was there to help her. She was very smart and got great grades. She wanted to do many things in her life.

But she understood that the work needed to be done on the farm, or it would not be there in the future. In fact she hated farming. But she understood the importance of it. So she did it . Heather is a working mom, married with two kids, ages fourteen and nine. If you took a quick, superficial look at Heather, you'd think she has it all together. She's good at her marketing job. She seems competent and in control. She's happy in her marriage, her kids are healthy, well-adjusted, and excelling in school. She has close friends with whom she occasionally grabs coffee (or something a little stronger). It's a good life. But if you were to scratch the surface just a bit and take a closer look, you'd see that Heather is that proverbial duck on a pond. Above the water, it appears that she's gliding effortlessly. But just below, her legs are paddling awfully hard just to stay in place. It's a sort of a sorrow, when I think of Gerald saying he preferred Michael. Therapist: A sadness? Henry: Yes. A sort of sadness, a sorrow. I guess I felt sorry for myself. I probably always have.

Therapist: Pitying yourself has been -- (interrupted) Henry: An important part, yes. Sorrow for myself. That's it, not jealousy, but sorrow. She decided to go to college for her Bachelor's. She was a smart girl and got her Bachelor's in Economics, all while working on the farm. Her sister built a house for her on her property to take care of while she was at work and she lived there. She knew she did not want to work on the farm anymore so she went to masters school. She decided to get a finance degree , to help her get off the farm and help the community even more. She connected with her professors and began to intern for a local bank . They were impressed with her and her work ethic. She wanted to learn from them everything. She loved it there and they were sad to see her go. She went back to her school and began work at a local foundation . At work there's the constant push to produce more results with fewer resources, which almost every day nudges Heather from chilling to simmering on the stress scale. There are the two jobs she has been doing for the past eighteen months: her own and the job of the guy who was downsized and never replaced, whose workload didn't just disappear along with him. So now Heather's plate is full to overflowing. Then there's Heather the Mom, with her role as activities director and limo driver to her kids. Their endless cycle of doctor appointments, science fairs, and soccer tournaments often conflicts with important commitments Heather has at work, and she feels guilty and torn, always fearful of letting down either her boss or her family. Add in a broken car transmission, financial worries, and concerns about her aging mother who continually falls but refuses to move to an assisted-living facility, and Heather can easily find herself in the freak-out zone once, twice, three times or more a week.

Heather wistfully recalls how she used to play tennis as a way to blow off steam--something she hasn't done in months. And forget about what used to be a fulfilling social life. She recently discovered an invitation to an old friend's long-past wedding in a pile that she never even opened, let alone responded to. Her weight is creeping up as the number of hours she sleeps each night goes down. I see it now. Here, we have a case of astonishing self-scrutiny resulting in sophisticated understandings, in a thirteen-year-old boy, after two years of therapy. Was this process actually play therapy, or was it an interview series? It seems to have been both. There were many hours in which Henry said not a single word, but played with the clay, water, and dolls. Other hours were pure interviews. Apparently, Henry was able to do what was helpful for him, for during his therapy many changes in him were obvious. All of his many tics disappeared entirely. His stuttering ceased. He sought to participate in group games. She helped to raised money for the school and the building was named after her. The school was growing and she was being recognized as one of the top students. As a result of this , she took a high-level position at a local consulting firm. She began to do very well for herself and her community . She never forgot where she came from, or how everyone helped her. She was always there to return the favor.