I do it while I'm brushing my teeth. The book says it may take six to twelve months to see results. I've been doing it for about six months and can't say I've seen any improvement in my ADD, but my balancing is definitely better. That can't be a bad thing. Nor would I have embraced the significant power of what forgiveness brings, how it frees my soul, and how to trust and love again. Nor would I have known to incorporate self-care by tapping into my deep beauty and inner worth. Nor would I have discovered how to become healthier and live a life of wellness, peace, happiness, purpose, and rejoicing. I haven't looked at much of the ADD material on the internet. The part I include in this book is good. I'm still a book person; I like to hold the book in my hand and turn the pages. I don't use a Kindle or those other machines yet either, but I suspect I will. If I had more time I would look at the things available on the internet too. At the end of the book are some recommended books and some web sites. Stop treating yourself like an object that has malfunctioned and instead treat yourself with unconditional worth and dignity. This involves exercising your self-determination. Instead of ruminating about what a failure you are, exercise that willpower muscle of yours to do something that you enjoy or that is constructive. Do something rational, like reading a good book or whatever other rational activity floats your boat. Kant believed that you should not let your reason become a slave to your emotions. Don't call yourself nasty names, degrade yourself to others, or otherwise put yourself down. That's no way to respect yourself as a person.

Distract yourself with something you enjoy doing, like eating your favorite dessert, listening to your favorite music, or watching an upbeat movie. You would rationally wish that others treat themselves well; be consistent in treating yourself the same. People with a secure attachment style are able to enjoy the full benefits of all five types of attachment. These individuals were raised by affectionate, emotionally intelligent parents who responded to their needs promptly, generously, and consistently. As children, securely attached people were helped to discover appropriate ways to express their needs and emotions and taught to give to others as generously as they received. People with a secure attachment style are comfortable both being independent and leaning on others. They are also comfortable having other people appropriately depend upon them. They have a generally positive view of the world and the sense that they are able to count on the support of others to set and achieve healthy life goals. People with a secure attachment style are prone to stress and anxiety when going through particularly difficult times but, in general, they are less prone to day-to-day anxiety and bounce back more quickly from stressful experiences. That's because a parent's prompt, generous, and consistent attention to a child's needs stimulates the child's calm-down nervous system, teaching the child to self-regulate in the presence of stressful events. Just creating the nor would I list brings unbelievable tears of joy to my eyes. Because too often you don't see what you have accomplished until you stop and write about it. Then you rejoice from the bottom of your soul. I urge all of you to write down your nor would I list. I urge all of you to listen to the stories of other people. Most of all, I urge you to love yourself through discipline, action, and determination. I end with a favorite quote from an unknown writer: An empty lantern provides no light. Self-care is the fuel that allows your light to shine brightly. I do suggest that you learn all you can about ADD; use your common sense to weed out the garbage. See what seems to be commonly accepted and not just unique to one place, for example, or what seems to be just too good to be true.

If it seems weird and it's expensive too, I personally would stay away from it. In general, the more you know the better off you are. I do believe that what is really going to help you are the strategies, the principles and the tools I'm telling you about, and maybe the medication, which can help you focus and help you use the strategies. Life can be hard sometimes and having ADD definitely makes it harder, all of the time. So, if you bought this book, or checked it out from the library, or borrowed it elsewhere, or even if you shoplifted it, I hope you will feel committed to actually read it and not just put it on your shelf or in your thingsto-do pile. And not because you `should' read it, but because it will help you and your life can be better and you might like that. Like the man in Sartre's story, you have the freedom to interpret your situation as you choose. Sartre would therefore remind you that your demand for perfection exists only because you have decided it does, and that if you choose to ruminate or otherwise torture and degrade yourself about having made a mistake or failed at something, then you bear the responsibility for it. It's your choice, and you are free to move on with your life. Think positive. You have the power! Sartre would recommend: Reframe your experience as a learning experience. Give yourself permission to be a fallible human; it is part of the human condition to make mistakes and fail. Do something you always wanted to do but never found the time to do--for example, sign up for music or dance lessons. You can define yourself only through action, not by talking about what you coulda, shoulda done. Incidentally, this prompt, generous, and consistent attention does not mean that the parent hovered or constantly did things for the child. Rather, it means that the parents were responsive to the child and taught the child healthy ways to meet his or her needs in collaboration with others. When the child was a baby, that meant responding quickly to cries and meeting the child's needs. But as the child got older, that same parent was good at helping the child identify and meet his or her own needs in a healthy and appropriate way. Through this process of secure attachment, the child learns that the world is a safe place filled with helpful people (if you know where to look), and that the child is competent to meet his or her own needs efficiently in most situations.

The securely attached child grows up to be a calm, capable, and predominantly peaceful adult. Answer these final questions, and make sure you refer back to your journal often. Do you rejoice daily? Create a list of what rejoicing does for you. Where do you believe your spiritual journey is guiding you? There is a definite beginning, middle, and end to every challenge. We are not so much interested in the "why" or the "how" as the "what" and the "when." What do you want? What does it look like? What will it take? What do you need to get there? The process is short-term and solution-oriented. It is so utterly pure and simple that it boggles the mind. The key elements are safety, encouragement, and validation, coupled with honest and direct questions. The process assumes nothing. It reverses the roles of student and teacher, of audience and actor, of spectator and participator. The coach is not an expert but rather a catalyst for discovery, an agent of change, a midwife aiding you in birthing the true you that has always been present waiting for the proper moment to emerge. Create a list of the miracles you have experienced by transforming your life through self-care by tapping into your deep beauty and inner worth. We can help ourselves by becoming educated about ADD. There are other good books besides this one. The internet has a lot of helpful material about ADD, much of it for free, but keep your garbage sensor active.

I didn't learn how to study until medical school. School had always been easy for me; I'd never had any concern about a test until college. I got into Rice, a prestigious school, and suddenly I was in with the top students from the top high schools in Texas. And I was in way over my head. Back then, I thought that you studied by reading the book and underlining. I didn't catch on until medical school that, No, you read a page in the book, then close the book and see if you can recite or write down the important parts. When you have that page, then you go on to the next page. It's work. It works. (See a more detailed explanation in Appendix 1.) I never asked anyone about studying; I didn't know that I didn't know how to study. I hear that nowadays in some places, they actually teach kids how to study. No one ever taught me. It was assumed that you knew how to study. I assumed that I knew how. Wrong! Now it's time to put that power to work by creating and implementing your own plan of action. Exercise 4.4 will help you do just that! Identify your behavioral responses. Think again about the perceived mistake or failing you've been working through in the previous exercises. Now make a list of the ways you responded behaviorally to this situation (say, you avoided others, ruminated, kept yourself up at night thinking about it, or were discouraged to pursue new opportunities).