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I, however, had no moustache to catch my tears. I reached for a tissue. I remembered Martine's words, `I can't give you everything,' Richard reiterated. But in that moment she gave me everything. Kahlil Gibran affirmed: Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; Dr Russell Barkley, a leading researcher in ADHD, recently published his model of the executive function and the deficits associated with ADHD. In his search for the origins and explanations of ADHD, Dr Barkley constructed a hybrid model of the executive function based upon the most current neuropsychological research in ADHD. His model implicates the identical regions that autism researchers associate with the executive function (the frontal lobe) and the same processes (working memory, behavioral inhibition, motor control, verbal communication, and organizational abilities). Consequently, both ADHD and autism research bears out a common set of behaviors and processes linked with impairments in the executive function of the brain. Some of the most obvious and familiar to mothers with children diagnosed with ADHD or Asperger's syndrome are the following: Children who exhibit more severe cases of ADHD often share many of the characteristics and features with children at the high-functioning end of the autistic spectrum--particularly in the all-too-familiar areas of communication, social integration, and behavior. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DON'T UNDERSTAND? SIMILARITIES IN COMMUNICATION DISORDERS The ability to express oneself and to understand another is fundamental to all human interaction. Even Scripture recognizes the role that communication plays in relationships: Undoubtedly there are all sorts of languages in the world, yet none of them is without meaning. Where she thought she was giving encouragement, they were hearing judgment of their habits. Pro tip: asking others if they've lost weight is pretty much always terrible nunchi. They may have lost weight because of stress or illness or bereavement, and it's inappropriate to draw attention to it.

If you must comment, a simple You look great is rarely taken as anything other than a compliment. Just as ignorance of the law is no excuse to a judge, a lack of awareness is no excuse to the nunchi master. Without it you cannot be said to have good nunchi. One benefit of improving your nunchi is that you will notice far fewer occasions where you accidentally offend a person. Rule #8: Be nimble, be quick As we've established, when someone is skilled in nunchi, Koreans don't say that person has good nunchi, they say the person has quick nunchi. The expression slow and steady wins the race does not apply to nunchi. For love is sufficient unto love. Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips. Far Greater than Money The beach town of Kihei, Maui has burgeoned with tourism over the last ten years. What once was a sleepy romantic getaway has become a mini-metropolis teeming with time-share condominiums and strip malls. In the shadow of rampant development, there remain a few aromatic breezes scented with the spirit of old Hawaii. A handful of natives have chosen not to cash in on what have become million dollar properties, and retain the charm and dignity of their lifestyle rooted in love of the land. Auntie Martha (Auntie is a Hawaiian term of endearment and respect for an elder) has lived in elegant simplicity for over eighty years. If then I do not grasp the meaning of what someone is saying, I am a foreigner to the speaker, and he is a foreigner to me (1 Corinthians 14:10-11). Effective communication presupposes that the speaker is able to express himself verbally through language as well as interpret nonverbal messages from others. Unfortunately, impairments in communication are markers for both autistic spectrum disorders and ADHD.

However, as with the other similarities discussed thus far, the major difference lies not in the nature of the impairments but rather in the severity of them. Autism researchers and speech pathologists have recognized for some time that verbal or language abilities can be misleading when trying to diagnose autism, especially Asperger's syndrome. One point of confusion with diagnosing Asperger's in very young children is that their language development appears normal--that is, there are no significant delays in language or speech. However, once these children enter school, language again can be deceptive. The difficulty, according to speech-language pathologist Diane Twachtman-Cullen, is that children who have Asperger's possess a language system that is at least functional, if not downright impressive, at least from the perspective of vocabulary (ie, content) and grammar/syntax (ie, form). This is because it often masks their problems mastering other life skills. The DSM-IV-TR bears this out in its section on Asperger's syndrome: Good verbal abilities may, to some extent, mask the severity of the child's social dysfunction and may also mislead caregivers and teachers--that is, caregivers and teachers may focus on a child's good verbal skills but be insufficiently aware of the problems in other areas. Being right is sometimes useless if you're too slow. When I think of the people with the quickest nunchi in film and fiction, the word scrappy comes to mind. A disproportionate number of nunchi ninjas are orphans: Tom Sawyer, Becky Sharp from Thackeray's Vanity Fair, the fairy- tale version of Dick Whittington, the protagonist from the film Slumdog Millionaire who wins the quiz show, and the little street urchin and spy Gavroche from Les Miserables (his parents are alive but might as well not be). Basically, there is a trope that hardship sharpens orphans' wits and, in turn, that their wits pull them out of hardship, which fits with what Koreans say about nunchi: it is the secret weapon of the disadvantaged. For example, Tom Sawyer uses his nunchi to get out of the dreaded task of whitewashing his Aunt Polly's fence. He famously employs reverse psychology to convince his friends that he's having fun and they're missing out, thereby getting them to do the job for him. Though this might be an example of using nunchi for ill, this same quick thinking saves the lives of Tom and his friends throughout the novel. At the end of their adventures, Tom uses his quick nunchi to trick Huck Finn into staying on the straight and narrow path. Gavroche uses his wits not just to beg for food on the streets of Paris, but to upgrade it from burned bread to white bread. His nunchi allows him on several occasions to see through disguises, which is why, at age eleven, he becomes the eyes and ears of an anti-monarchist revolutionary group. Her leathery brown skin, white hair, slightly glazed eyes, and unabashed toothless smile paint a classic portrait of a colorful era nearly gone by. In striking contrast to the mega-pricey condos that have mushroomed on either side of her charmingly unkempt lot, Auntie Martha still lives in her ramshackle house just down Ili'ili Street from Kamaole Beach. There, in her own quiet way, she lives the ancient spirit of aloha l (iterally translated, the breath of life).

I first met Auntie Martha when I was parking my car across the street from her house. Before I even opened my door Martha approached me and asked, Do you have any cigarettes? I smiled and shook my head. We chatted for a while, and she told me, You can park in my yard if you want to. I like to have friends. She took my hand and looked into my eyes. Her eyes glistened, and she was very present. Yet regardless of how proficient Asperger's syndrome children are in language skills, they have great difficulty with the literal interpretation of language. For example, Dr Lorna Wing cites the case in which a small boy was told to dry a teapot on the outside. He obediently took it outdoors to wipe it dry. Likewise, as Becky and Erin passed a sign for a new housing development that read Only three lots left, Erin commented, Oh, the rest must have stayed. As you can see, although it can lead to humorous situations, the inability to understand language beyond a literal level indicates a serious lack of comprehension. These children are able to use language but are unable to comprehend the multiple levels of meaning associated with it, which seriously affects social interactions and, consequently, all aspects of life. For instance, according to Dr Lisa Blakemore-Brown, in cases where a child has solid verbal skills but an underlying problem with comprehending prosody, the misinterpretations can lead to rages and negative reactions from others. She often confuses compliments for sarcasm, which sets off terrible arguments leading to hurt feelings and mistrust. Likewise, my son Sam will commonly confuse a directive such as Put your shoes on the porch as a hard fast rule. Consequently, he puts his shoes on the porch every time rather than only in response to that one-time instruction. When bad-guy Inspector Javert tries to infiltrate the revolutionaries by posing as one of them, it's Gavroche's eagle eye that recognizes Javert is out of place, and he correctly concludes that he is a spy. Putting Nunchi into Practice Let's say you're at your favorite cafe with your best friend.

The place is crowded and you're trying to work out where to perch yourself so as to maximize the likelihood that you get the next available table. You might both say things like, Ooh, that guy looks like he's going to stand up--oh, never mind, he's just shifting his body weight to the other ass cheek. Oh, that table, that one! No, sorry, she was just getting up to get a sugar packet. If you and your friend are in the habit of cafe-hopping together, you may have noticed that one of you is always right about which table will become free, and the other is far slower. The one who spots the soon-to-be-empty table first is the one with better nunchi. A true nunchi ninja has an uncanny ability to predict human behavior. My grandsons may try to charge you, but don't pay them. Tell them that you are my friend and I invited you. Auntie Martha smiled. Aloha is far greater than money. Aloha is far greater than money. That about covers it. Aloha is far greater than money - and being right, and holding grudges, and protecting your image, and just about anything else. Aloha - love - is the only thing worth living for. I know, because Auntie Martha told me so. Deep Instead of Fast Dr Wing also notes another characteristic of language that affects social interactions is the tendency to talk on . Verbal abilities also mislead teachers and parents of ADHD children. However, often in the case of ADHD, the focus is upon the excessive use of verbal abilities to the point of disruption.