People respond best to reward and recognition. Rewards along the way will bring out the best in you. More importantly, they will do so in a more consistent, sustainable and conscious way. Feel -- Think -- Do . The power of an emotional connection is amplified when you combine it with a mental connection and then with a physical connection. This doesn't mean I've turned beige, I still have the residue of fury up my sleeve, but now I use it only on occasions when my anger is appropriate, as in when someone's taking my parking space on purpose. Just as I've tried to stop my traffic-warden-attacking habit, you can change the long-term effect of your body's response to stress by learning to regulate your basic fight, flight and freeze reactions. Stress isn't always a response to an emergency or a disaster; Stress levels can also be made worse by a rich diet, by smoking, drinking alcohol . The way in which a person interprets an event, along with their general state of physical health, is not determined completely by genetic factors but by behavioural and lifestyle choices. In other words, don't blame your mother for giving you the genes that led to your crack habit. Type 2 Diabetes For emergencies (fight or flight), we need to increase the level of glucose in our bloodstream to give us energy, but if the stress lasts too long the body can no longer take in the glucose and the result is diabetes. So the thing that helps us in the short term becomes damaging over time. One bit of chocolate is good, but a chocolate fountain with a straw next to your bed isn't. And yet the condition we remain effectively blind to is this: if it weren't for the invisible backdrop of perfect stillness, of pure peace, we would not see any of these forms in the manner that we do! A moment's study of a short analogy will take us a long way. If we went to a cinema expecting to see a story unfold, complete with movie stars, scenery, action, and interaction, but there was no screen there in the theatre to act as a backdrop for the projection, the showing of that movie would be meaningless. One would see no more than a whirl of indistinguishable light and phantomlike motions projected onto the various protruding walls guarding the way to the back of the stage. Can we begin to see, in this instance, how the movie screen-- that silent backdrop of white stillness that reflects the projected images--is equally essential to our understanding of all the activity that we see displayed upon it?

Can we begin to see how without the former in place as a constant, the latter has virtually no context and therefore no real consequence? Now let's carry this idea over to see the following truth in parallel: much in the same way as the screen in the theatre makes it possible for us to see the action-packed motions of the movie, it is an unseen stillness that reveals what we experience as being the ceaseless movement of life. With this insight in mind, can we recognize how unaware we are at present of this abiding stillness in which we ourselves move and live? Furthermore, can we see that it's not that this stillness isn't there--it is! The fact is, it is we, ourselves, who are not present to this unchanging presence! Should you work in an investment bank, or maybe rob one? We sat at a table and ordered a bottle of red wine and some tapas. As the plates arrived, I was looking around the table. Where there was food, I just saw money. The meal was going to cost me more than I had spent for the whole month thus far. When the check came, I was secretly praying he would volunteer to cover the costs, but he didn't. Shall we go for another drink? Could do, I responded, but let me first check something. I had downloaded a new app, which listed all the bars in Stockholm that sold cheap beer. It turned out that one of the recommended places was just down the road. That's why as a child and intuitive novice, I'd have dead-on intuitions about unspoken pain such as Eric's as well as illnesses and disasters, but was less apt to pick up happier events. Needless to say, this can be a disconcerting phenomenon until it's understood. On an intuitive level, emotions such as grief and terror are easier to sense than the lower-keyed vibes of calmness or confidence. It's important that you channel this knowledge into new behaviors so you're not the doomed moth eternally drawn to the flame. Take Action: Harness the Energy of Words and Tone

The Zen of emotional freedom entails learning to resist negativity's flash and turn up the volume on the positive. Let's make this maneuver practical by examining your words and tone, areas where you can have total control if you exert it. As Dr Emoto's work indicated, words impart energy that can be enlivening or malignant. This is true whether you direct words to yourself or others. You think them. I make the assumption that they are highly defended, that they are judging these other men, that they are ruthless, even cruel. At the very end of the class, one of them speaks. My presuppositions shatter. All I hear is vulnerability. I was born, he says. Biological father took off to California because I was crying so much that he thought I was a monster. He told my mother that he wanted to kill me. My mother met my stepfather. My two brothers were born. Mom worked for AT&T. After all, they share years of a common past. When that is reconciled, a rich present becomes available. But suppose this process isn't mom's priority right now. This generally means more work for the adult child. Patricia, a close friend of mine, had been working on mom issues for some time, and then her detached mom became ill with terminal cancer.

When she found out about her mother's condition, Patricia wanted to make the best use of whatever time they had left. So she asked Mom if she would go to a Christian therapist friend of hers for a few sessions. Mom agreed, as she also wanted to wrap things up in her life. Once there, Mom also gave the therapist permission to talk to Patricia about her, as an aid to resolution. How can I get connected to her in the time we have left? Only from yourself. Train the brave How would letting go of your concern of what others think free you to express yourself more authentically? What would you do differently if you didn't care what others may say or think? Trust your intuition An odd feeling in your gut. A subtle sense of foreboding. A funny inkling. A knowing whisper: This just feels right' . <a href=''>I'm</a> sure you've felt those intuitive murmurs before. <a href=''>Learning</a> is a self-directed desire and a choice. <a href=';url='>You</a> must choose to keep learning. <a href=''>You</a> must choose the right Teacher in your network. <a href=''>Harvard</a> professor Linda Hill says,You can't think of something new unless you are being pushed to think in new directions, and you can't do that unless you are engaging with people who have a different viewpoint. It is not only what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable.

Four years ago I set myself the target to triple the sales in my business, write a article and start a speaking career. Yes, they were lofty goals and I had no real idea how I was going to achieve them, and yes, I was scared. But I didn't just cower in the corner. I got off my butt and recruited a Butt-kicker who would (and did) make sure I delivered. I was forced off the couch and out of my comfort zone and held accountable for my goals. When true goal alignment is formed you no longer simply set goals; The challenge for some people is that they know what they want but not why they want it, or they know what but they don't know how to achieve it, or they know what and how without understanding why. In reality, the what is what we go for when we are discovering our why, and unfortunately most people get stuck at the what. Think about those questions people asked you at school: What are you going to do when you leave school? Think about at your work: What is your target for this month? We are all so focused on what that we never explore the why, and yet the why is where the reason, the emotion, the purpose and passion live. It is the source of our energy, our desire, our drive and our determination. Achieving goals is more than just taking action. First you need a plan of action; Then, as we learned in an earlier article, having a plan and taking action without knowing how you want to feel is like driving the car without a destination in mind and not knowing why you are on the road in the first place. During a period of stress, as I mentioned above, the digestive system shuts down, because you need all your energy for flight or fight and there's no time to think about lunch. When sugar levels rise over time, insulin, as with diabetes, becomes resistant to glucose and glucose can't be absorbed. This means that you eventually end up on one of those TV shows where they need to take the roof off your house and have a helicopter airlift you out of your spaghetti-filled bed. Infertility If you're suffering too much stress, your reproductive system shuts down.