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Do drop the volume if they speak softly. Beliefs and values Seeking to authentically understand the beliefs and values of another person without judgment can establish a very profound connection. Again, you don't need to agree with them or change your values; Language patterns Matching language patterns with sales and marketing staff is a favorite NLP communication technique. The person feels understood by using the same words to describe things and processes. Listen to the words of their might. We have often learned to paraphrase what somebody says instead of using the same words. We call it positive listening. It asks the question -- What circumstances will sustain human beings in their capacity for full function (ie in health); Here is obviously a basic willingness on the part of the sponsors of this Centre for people to be themselves -- even when that involves differing from the values held by the sponsors. To leave the person free to choose or reject what we regard as desirable things requires an inner questioning of basic attitudes which is no easier for the biologist than for the psychotherapist, as the following statements indicate. The training of the staff is difficult. It is in fact no easy thing for the individual as a scientist to place himself as an instrument of knowledge completely at the disposal of any and every member, and at the same time, without exercising authority, to assume his right and proper position in the community as a social entity. But he is also there to make observations. This the members have readily come to accept, jokingly describing themselves as the biologist's rats. They soon come to appreciate that the scientist's primary concern is to be used by the members as a means of reaching and sustaining their own maximum capacity for health. Moreover, they come to sense that in carrying on their own activities and inaugurating new ones through the method of self-service, many of them are in fact step by step themselves growing into important members of the staff. The active-passiveness of the observer is not easy to attain without the essential extension of the laboratory scientist's discipline which allows facts to speak for themselves.

Breathing into your emotion and allowing the wave of energy to gather, rise, crest, and subside is a form of resonance. You can simply be with your cycle. And when it has passed you can again resonate with wealth and abundance and spend your money where it harmonizes with your larger goals. Combinations Your emotions can show up one at a time or in various combinations with their accompanying body sensations. Each emotion of a combination registers its own level of intensity, and all can affect your approach to abundance. A classic combination is the emotion feeling of hurt. Consider the various methods your family and friends use to stop their feelings of being hurt. Some people take action to end their hurts by spending money, some by eating or driving, working in their garden, reading--the list goes on. Have you noticed that those solutions actually work? This is a mistake when it comes to reporting to the NLP. We apply specific words to their respective interactions. If someone says she wants to be comfortable and you're thinking about her potential, you may miss the boat on the relationship. Representative structures can be very strong and subtle to match. Has anyone had that kind of conversation? I can't see the big picture here Alright, you need to read the instructions more carefully This is a misunderstanding of the representational structures. Matching and Mirroring the Outside Have you ever seen a couple sitting in a restaurant or cafe-sharing a meal or a coffee. Seeing and a strong indication that they are in relationships is usually fairly evident. Also, the opposite is true;

In human biology the facts are actions which seriously complicate the problem but do not put it beyond the possibility of solution. The biological necessities of the situation then compel us to leave the members to themselves, to initiate their own activities, their own order of things. We have no rules, regulations nor any other restriction of action, except a very fluid time-table. Within eighteen months the seeming chaos and disorder is rapidly developing into something very different. This is apparent even to our visitors, one of whom on leaving described the life in the Centre as being like a stream allowed to form its bed and its banks according to the natural configuration of the land. Here in this community effort is seen the emergence of the same type of hypothesis upon which the client-centered therapist bases his work. Not only is the hypothesis the same as regards the person, the client, but the conclusion in regard to the role of the leader also has many striking similarities. Is there any unity in these bits of evidence gathered from such diverse sources? Is there anything relevant to our concern with psychotherapy in studies which cover such remote issues as whether people eat kidneys, or decide how an industrial shop unit shall be run? I feel that there is. They don't. All of these actions are doing kinds of actions. People are called human beings for a reason; Three particular combination emotions can affect the way we think about abundance in a profound way: bitterness, compassion, and gratitude. BITTERNESS. Someone has done something that is beyond the boundaries of what is acceptable. The breach is so large that it can not be repaired--not by the usual means anyway. Nearly everyone you talk with agrees that it is way beyond what any rational person would forgive. They are right. So are you.

A person having an understanding of this can balance and mimic the physiology of another person to easily establish relationships. To be sure, matching and mirroring are NOT to imitate or duplicate (which will have the opposite effect of falling out of relations). Matching and mirroring are normal and subtle, where copying is apparent and unnatural. Some of the aspects that we can suit and mirror on the outside are: Body language (legs, head tilt, hands, arms, torso) Posture (upright or bent, leaning one way or the other) Movements (referred to as verbal space-how do you gesture tomorrow, for example) Breathing rate Voice (tone, rhythm, volume, speed) Matching and mirroring a person's representation mechanism along with this. Visual-Looks good. Auditory-Sounds good. If we consider the central thread which runs through these highly varied studies and experiences, it would seem that it may be summarized in an if-then type of statement. If the individual or group is faced by a problem; If a catalyst-leader provides a permissive atmosphere; If responsibility is genuinely placed with the individual or group; If there is basic respect for the capacity of the individual or group; Then, responsible and adequate analysis of the problem is made; It would appear that the hypothesis which is central to this article, and basic to the function of the client-centered therapist, is an hypothesis which has been and is being investigated in other types of human relationships as well, and that the evidence in regard to it has a significant and positive similarity no matter what the field of endeavor. SUGGESTED READINGS The reader who wishes to consider in more detail his own attitudes as they actually operate in his reactions with others, and the means of implementing his basic attitudes in therapy, will find rich food for thought and a wealth of practical help in Porter's article, An Introduction to Therapeutic Counseling (148). An earlier consideration of implementation is contained in article six of Counseling and Psychotherapy (166).

Your anger, sadness, and fear are justified. However, unless you allow yourself to experience these emotions, to resonate with them and let them go, you will dam up your emotional current. Becoming frozen is the ultimate cost of resisting your emotional experience, and frozen bodies cannot resonate with ease and abundance. Bitterness can fill your entire life, freezing your dreams and your joy. You are keeping an account--a bitterness account--one in which you keep track of the event and all the other offenses that go with it. You also keep track of how it could be repaid, the actions they could take and the things that could be said to make amends. These are the costs to them. They owe you. For example, the explanation might read: 10/5/92 ____ said the following hateful things to my face. Cost/repayment: demand an apology, no dollar amount. Auditory Electronic-Makes sense. Kinesthetic-Feels right. Olfactory / Gustatory-Smells wonderful. Matching and mirroring the keywords of a human, filled with significance, for what is important to him. Not so much to suit and mirror but more to be conscious of. We switch our eyes in a patterned manner, which is an external indicator of what's going on inside. Generally speaking, (some people do the opposite); We are doing self-talking down to the left. We recall a picture up to the right. You will start matching and mirroring their primary representational structure using this knowledge-gaining an understanding in which they view the universe.