And I realise that the badness that I most fear being capable of is the badness of looking to be loved. While I shame myself, and insist that I am immutably unloveable, I am trying to keep myself safe. I am trying to avoid ever being abused again. Because somewhere, at some point in time, somehow, I have taken on the belief that I caused the abuse by needing to be loved. I have no idea of its genesis, only that it takes the form of a self-evident belief. And if I shame myself continually, if I detail my badness, my unworthiness, at all times, then I can keep that part under control: and we will never, ever, seek to be loved, and we will never, ever, allow ourselves to be abused. But the therapist's words scorch through me. There are many layers to my shame, but this is one of the thickest: the way I have needed to cast myself as the villain, to ensure that the love-needy parts of me don't get their way. Those numbers are expected to increase dramatically in the coming years. The number of cancer cases in the U. An even more sobering statistic: Worldwide, 9. Those cancer victims are not just numbers. They are husbands and wives, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, best friends forever since elementary school, your next-door neighbor, and your colleagues at work. If you have cancer, if you know anyone with cancer or if anyone you love has died of cancer, you might be feeling angry right now. Your anger would be well justified. Why are we Losing the War on Cancer? Here's the simple answer: We're losing the war on cancer because conventional medicine refuses to understand that each person's cancer is a unique and individual disease. There is no one-size-fits-all solution. The disruptive forces are environmental energies that can come in and wreak havoc with the body's energies. These energies--wind, heat, damp, dry, and cold--can overwhelm the triple warmer response and make it hard to understand why things aren't going well in the body.

But there is also a flip side to these energies. Sometimes it's good for us to be disrupted. Some of the best things in our lives come to us in crazy, unplanned ways. And if we are closed to them, we'll miss out. We don't want to barricade the doors against these energies; Senior Eden Energy Medicine teacher Dr Sara Allen teaches about the disruptive forces using the wonderful metaphor of keeping our screens clean. If we keep these points clear, the five environmental energies can flow into us, bringing change, but have an exit as well. Since many of these screen points are located on the head, doing the Crown Pull (see week 1) is helpful, as are massaging, holding, and releasing the head into the hands as noted above. Adopting scent-free spaces is one way to accomplish this. The East Bay Meditation Center (EBMC) in Oakland, California, is a powerful example of a group adopting scent-free practice. Offering meditation training and teachings from Buddhist and other wisdom traditions, the EBMC was founded on a mission to foster liberation, personal and interpersonal healing, social action, and inclusive community building (East Bay Meditation Center, 2017). The EBMC offers a comprehensive resource article to prepare participants in their programs to be scent free and a detailed list of fragrance-free products that one can use. Offering a scent-free space also means refraining from burning incense and ensuring that there are scent-free soaps available in bathrooms. It's a modification that requires commitment and practice, and increases accessibility for survivors looking to access safe, transformative, and trauma-sensitive practice. Offering gender-neutral bathrooms is another practice that enhances safety and accessibility within trauma-sensitive practice. A gender-neutral bathroom means that people of any gender can use them. The goal here is not necessarily to turn every bathroom available into a gender-neutral facility, but to ensure there is at least one gender-neutral bathroom accessible to students and clients. This practice and initiative ensures that all people have a place where they feel as safe as possible using the bathroom. In Western medicine it is accepted that the fluid in the peritoneum actually travels in a circuit, starting at the liver, working its way around the bowel, dipping into the pelvis where it communicates with the outside through the fallopian tubes and then going back to end under the liver. Here at the liver there is an opening between the towering walls of the liver and the diaphragm.

This fluid is absorbed into the lymph. This is the actual JueYin. Western medicine calls it the submesothelial lymphatics in the paracolic gutter. Once again, JueYin is easier to say! The fluid from this gets absorbed into the collection of lymph nodes called the cisterna chyli. Cisterna is Latin for a cavity and chyli means fat suspension: this is a big cavity in the body containing a milky fatty suspension. This fluid doesn't just contain what the peritoneum produced, it also contains a lot of the fats that have been absorbed into the lymph of the gut. The fats in the body have a special circulation - they don't get absorbed into the blood from the gut; She made me. And it's like she's declared that I'm hateable. That's who I am. I'm squirming now under the pain of it, and something else is forcing its way through my chest as well. Something like grief, but it's got mushy edges and it feels like it will suffocate me. Indignation is dripping from every word. It's not fair! And it's not true. You're not hateable. But then I'm caught again, because what she's saying is so alluring, and I so want to believe it, that panic rushes through me. The police transport Lucas from the jail to the rehab site. He refuses to speak to anyone, fights with the staff, and ends up in isolation.

After a week or so, a therapist approaches him again. Lucas, bored by his isolation, agrees to meet. They sit together in a small room with a one-way mirror. The therapist asks Lucas whether he is willing to discuss all the reasons why he doesn't want to get treatment. Lucas quickly agrees, eager to show the therapist why he doesn't need to go to therapy. Together, they begin a cost-benefit analysis. This is the first time Lucas takes a reasoned look at the costs and benefits of his treatment avoidance. Lucas and his therapist talk about the cost-benefit analysis. Although relationships can still seem troubling, Neil continues to hope that he will grow socially and find meaningful connections with others along the way. My current profession is as a general veterinary surgeon in a mixed rural practice in Shetland, an archipelago of inhabited islands far to the north of mainland Scotland. Most of my work is with dogs and cats, both preventative health care and treatment of all kinds of ailments. But I also enjoy a fair amount of large-animal work, with cattle, sheep, and horses. Until recently, my likes have perforce been solitary activities-- reading, long-distance hiking, and studying--as I was unable to break through the autistic barrier between myself and the outside world. Recently, however, I have at last been able to enjoy the pleasure of interacting with small groups of people. I love the Scottish Gaelic language, which I have learned as a second language. When I was young, I loved and learned to play the Highland bagpipe, and I still play. My main dislike is the small, but significant, proportion of neurotypical people who react with condescension and disdain to people with autism spectrum disorders and attempt to undermine us. This is the most common type of bullying I have encountered in my life; They have a chemical composition similar to morphine and heroin and have a calming effect on the body while building the immune system. This explains why happy people seldom get sick and suffering while complaining often gets sick.

Laugh till Cry Laughter and crying are closely related to psychological and physical viewpoints. Think about the last time someone made a joke to you and made you buckle with Laughter; How do you feel afterward? You feel tingling everywhere. Your brain releases endorphins into your system, which gives you what was once called naturally high, which is the same experience that drug addicts get when taking stimulants. People who laugh at the hard things in life often turn to drugs and alcohol to get the same feeling as the Laughter caused by endorphins. Alcohol relaxes the inhibitory effect, makes people laugh more, and releases endorphins. I ache now with the pain of it all. The therapist looks back at me, no doubt wondering what I'm thinking. I want to believe her. I think, actually, that I do believe her. But it still feels wrong. As the therapist bends her head in towards me to catch my words, I realise how quiet my voice has become. This too is shame. I look up at her. And if I'm bad, then I don't deserve to be loved. I don't know what she means, but I know she's right, and I have a sudden rush of my own insight. Cancer is a terribly complex disease. The newer and modern laser-targeted approaches to cancer treatment (a/k/a targeted therapy) will inevitably fail because cancer cells are smart-- so smart they almost seem to have a brain.