Date Tags advice

I freely pay my 100 percent, no more and no less. I contribute my whole self rather than a smaller percentage. I step into place, rather than being corraled or cajoled. If I step into responsibility, then responsibility is my ability to respond. Feel the change in your body. Would you rather step forward and celebrate, . You get to choose. I like the celebration energy. So what about other people? They begin to take care of themselves, and they step into the energy field of equality, celebrating their wholeness, their 100 percent, and bringing their 100 percent to whatever is afoot. Let's use the problem-solving perspective to set the scene some more for this model that we're about to examine. Imagine someone whose neighbors have real problems. It could get so bad that he wants to get out of that setting and move house altogether. If his new neighbors are' troublesome' as well, so he decides to move again, and once again he ends up next door to the' neighbors from hell,' you could start wondering if there's something he needs to change about his actions in dealing with other people, as he's the common factor in all this. If he doesn't know how to behave differently, he may need to learn new skills or capabilities: perhaps some assertive communication, maybe a better way to deal with disagreements, maybe even some relationship skills. And if he thinks the way he behaved is the only right way to act, it will have to change his beliefs before he can solve the problem. If those convictions are at the root of his personality, he may need to reconsider who he is to achieve a permanent resolution. And to get the drive to do that-after all, it's a big chance-he might have to start thinking about what's more important to him than he's to himself or has some sort of spiritual conversion from the path to Damascus. This example illustrates Robert Dilts' model, which he called 'Logical Levels' or sometimes 'Neuro-Logical Levels,' and we call it 'Levels of Change. One right way of thinking about this is to picture a pyramid with several layers.

Perhaps it may be put in this way. Experiences have been distorted or denied because it seems that to admit them would be too destructive to the self. In the safety of the therapeutic relationship it is discovered that, though the admission to awareness and the reorganization which is necessitated are both painful, yet the gain in internal comfort and release from tension clearly outweighs the pain. Hence there seems to arise a strong tendency to look at material still more deeply denied. The foregoing excerpt appears to be the first feeling of anxiety presaging further self-revelations to come. I phoned mother; Why did it have to happen now, just when I'm looking forward to the next interview and going on vacation? Oh, dear, I thought that problem [of mother] was well in hand, and here it is again. Won't I ever be able to cut loose from mama's apron strings? What's the use -- I've tried so hard, and I just can't keep it up for ever. So of two people, each assumes 100 percent, and each is a whole person, not a lesser percentage. While the old numbers added up, the new numbers have a different feel and vibration and seem like a whole lot more, like an abundance of responsibility and fun--like a celebration! So what happens when they don't pick up their share? Interesting question. It seems like you stepped back to the old vibration. You have 100 percent and they have 100 percent and you interact. If one of you doesn't step into the place of dancing with your 100 percent, then can celebrating responsibility even happen? It seems silly, but once you realize they are coming from the perspective of assuming a burden and looking from underneath a heavy load, you have to stop dancing with them. Remove yourself from the situation. The goal is to get off the River of Shame and travel on the River of Gold.

The base layer in the world, including other people-this is where you are and what's around you. The key questions here are: Where am I? What is it about me? The level of climate is the level of incentives-and external threats. This covers where you're working, where you're living, and those around you. If you're looking at a company using this model, it would include its industry, its rivals, and the legal and regulatory structure within which it's doing business. Behavior is the next level up. This is what you are doing -which, of course, occurs in your environment and acts on it. Continuing upwards, the capability is the next step. When action is what you are doing, then this is what you know how to do, what you can do, and the abilities you have. The Fifth Interview The following day Miss Cam came in for the fifth interview. She had, from the first, planned to leave town for her vacation within a couple of days after this interview. During the contact she went very deeply into many areas of her experience, including her relationship with her mother. She felt it was impossible to change that relationship. She stated at one point, I'm just a baby. But it's so disgusting to be a baby girl when you're as old as I am. At the conclusion of the interview, which to the counselor did not seem at all characteristic of the ending of therapy, she bade the counselor goodbye, stating that she would try to carry on by herself. The following material was written a few hours after the interview. What a desperately discouraging occasion!

A classic challenge is contributing to the financial support of aging parents. One child is wealthier than another and contributes more money, while the other(s) have less wealth and contribute less money. The situation requires that you participate; You also have lots of thoughts and emotions from the past that pile up upon the present situation. The truth is the contribution of money is not equal and cannot be, especially when everyone knows it and keeps silent. What to do? Step into the energy of celebrating. Call the game on yourself! Fully acknowledge your own thoughts and emotions to yourself. Separate the past from what is happening right now. And your action is selected from within your skill spectrum-just because you have the potential to do something, it doesn't mean you're going to do it. The next level up is Values and Beliefs-Values are what matters to you, and Beliefs are what you believe about yourself, other people, and how the world works. Your values are what motivates you -if a goal is essential to you, you'll put the time and effort to make it happen -and they're also the criteria you use to decide whether something is right or wrong. Beliefs include linkages between cause and effect-you believe that something else is causing a specific event or that a particular action will have inevitable consequences. At this point, we can also include your rules for yourself-if that happens, I'll do it. And complex equivalences -this implies that it is also beliefs that this person or object can be put in that category. Above that, we have Identity points. That's your perception of who you are, your sense of yourself. Eventually-and for some reason, this is often left out of business NLP articles; That's more what your part of the value to you than it is to yourself, what you feel connected to, and for what you will eventually give up your life.

So flat and hopeless, like being up against an insensate blank wall -- immovable, impenetrable, unscalable, a dead end to life and growth, a sterile, uncaring wall of mystery cutting me off from myself. It's difficult to convey the peculiar quality of hopelessness, of deadness, as if the whole universe were really and truly senseless -- no point in trying to solve the mystery of yourself, no point in anything, because if life is meaningless, it can only end in frustration and death, and what looks like mystery is only the revelation of ultimate futility and negation. It isn't that there is something you don't understand, but rather that there is nothing to be understood. You might just as well not be there for all the good you can do, for all the good this interview or anything else can do. With the best will in the world, you can't solve the insoluble. I'm just pointlessly discussing a pointless existence which you pointlessly reflect. It's non-sense; And just to make everything worse, you look disapproving. Now I know perfectly well that you don't actually look that way, and in a sense, I don't really care any more whether you approve or disapprove. But you see, last time your face suddenly looked different -- as if it had been black with coal dust, and then was washed clean to reveal an altogether unsuspected freshness and individuality. Deal with your past issues with the appropriate people, whether it's your siblings or your parents. Here is the bigger challenge: They may not want to or be willing to hear you. First, listen to yourself. Then write out everything that you are experiencing--all of it. Read it through, then, ideally, destroy your writing and send it out to be healed on the breath of the wind. Let go of trying to fix your past. Sometimes in feng shui, when the challenges with one space are just too much to cure despite many attempts, we finally suggest that you move. In this case you move on. You go with the flow and allow the river to carry you to another place where the energy is more harmonious. The shift begins with you.