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We all feel some sort of a lie. But some of us are merely living a life that works better. It's a skill worth studying and perfecting to be able to forget those things that aren't extremely important, but in their current version, do interrupt and destroy your present chances of success. If it is sufficiently essential, it will remain, generally, on its own. If it doesn't sit alone (like the thick articles on biochemistry you need to read for your next examination), you should make a point to recall. You can just think about it. You can get something to make yourself forget. It's so simple that you have no idea how you're going to possess that talent in the next hour and almost master it. I was considering showing you how you might even forget to read this article, but that could lead to an endless loop. How many times would you read the article, when you first thought it was? It somehow involves the value system of the individual, and changes in that system. This is an aspect of therapy which has been little discussed, and thus far barely touched from a research point of view. This discussion of it is to be regarded as exploratory rather than in any sense definitive. It seems to be true that early in therapy the person is living largely by values he has introjected from others, from his personal cultural environment. The situation might be schematically represented by giving some of the values stated or implied by clients and placing in parentheses the source of these values. I should never be angry at anyone (because my parents and church regard anger as wrong). I should always be a loving mother (because any other attitude is unacceptable in my middle class group). I should be successful in my courses (because my parents count on my success). I have homosexual impulses, which is very bad (according to our whole culture). I should be sexless (because my mother seems to regard sex as wicked and out of place for any right-minded person).

You wonder if you can trust your footing as you move through the surging waters. The losses can be enormous: homes, furniture, businesses, vehicles, animals, and even one's life. So it is with sudden wealth; At the very least you will need many more advisors--investment, legal, and tax--than you had before the inflow. When a lot of money suddenly appears--for example, if you receive an inheritance or win the lottery--it spills over all of your boundaries and impacts all your day-to-day activities and relationships. A flood of abundance and the stress that follows can ruin many relationships. Whom can you trust to give you good advice regarding where to spend, lend, and invest all that money? Are you ready for all of the calls from people and organizations that suddenly want you to share your abundance with them? Some friendships will grow deeper, yet with sudden wealth, people's hidden expectations surface. Many relationships are ruined by all of the sudden financial requests. Helping Others to Forget You must follow an essential ethical concept before you start daydreaming about possessing all-powerful hypnotic abilities, tossing ideas around, and making people forget things. You shouldn't cause forgetting unless the individual agrees. They have to allow you to participate in this hypnotic conversation. That's an ethical matter because it means you're in a one-up spot. Yes, you can persuade people, change their minds, and affect certain aspects of their ways of thought, but there must be an one-up role to create that authority. This means your client has welcomed you to a trusting part. That is a responsible position. Infringing that trust would be a form of abuse or battery. Helping others to forget can be helpful when: In some cases, therapists feel it is in the best interest of your client to ignore the content of some work so that they don't sabotage the work with their conscious minds.

I should be completely casual about sex behavior (because my sophisticated friends have this attitude). As therapy progresses, the client comes to realize that he is trying to live by what others think, that he is not being his real self, and he is less and less satisfied with this situation. But if he is to relinquish these introjected values, what is to take their place? There ensues a period of confusion and uncertainty as to values, a certain sense of insecurity in having no basis for judging what is right or wrong, good or bad. Gradually this confusion is replaced by a dawning realization that the evidence upon which he can base a value judgment is supplied by his own senses, his own experience. Short term and long term satisfactions can be recognized, not by what others say, but by examining one's own experience. The value system is not necessarily something imposed from without, but is something experienced. The individual discovers that he has within himself the capacity for weighing the experiential evidence and deciding upon those things which make for the long-run enhancement of self (which inevitably involves the enhancement of other selves as well). Thus a preliminary investigation by Kessler (101), analyzing the material of three cases, indicated that evaluations at first tended to be sensed as being fixed and residing in the object; Another conceptualization of this process has evolved out of our thinking about the locus of evaluation. You can avoid much of this by preparing for floodwater situations ahead of time. Action Step Whether you've experienced a flood of wealth or not, spend some time with your Creative Current imagining all of the things you would do with a large influx of money. Note your dreams in your Travel Log. Now spend some time listening to your Rational and Emotional currents and log those responses. Consider which advisors you already know and how you would interact with them. What long-cherished dreams would you engage and bring to life? From this information there may emerge some urge to readjust your life. Even small changes can lead to an experience of more wealth and abundance. Pay attention to your Rational and Creative currents for several days after you do this exercise;

You are a father or a mother, and you want your kid to forget about a traumatic experience or some unpleasant disagreement within the family, so he won't be influenced in the future to collect the unwanted beliefs. I'm poor, and that's why my parents yelled at Me. Making him forget it and implementing a new user system will mean a lifetime difference.The doctor patted me on the shoulder as he led me to the door. Don't worry, honey, he said. You're young, and back pain is the most common thing in the world. You'll just have to learn how to live with it. I had just flown in from California, taking a break from the international mime and comedy school where I spent my days learning how to juggle, do trapeze work, and circus performing. Only at that moment, I couldn't walk a block without crying from the pain. I went to bed that night praying to die. Determined to not accept the inevitable that I was told, I went to the local library to do some research. In most statements which make or imply a value judgment, the spatial locus of the origin of the evaluation can be rather readily inferred. In therapy, in the initial phases, there appears to be a tendency for the locus of evaluation to lie outside the client. It is seen as a function of parents, of the culture, of friends, and of the counselor. In regard to this last, some clients make strenuous efforts to have the therapist exercise the valuing function, so as to provide them with guides for action. In client-centered therapy, however, one description of the counselor's behavior is that he consistently keeps the locus of evaluation with the client. Some of this is evident in the way he phrases his responses. You're angry at ----; You're confused by ----; It seems to you that ----; You feel that ----;

These activities can prepare you for floodwaters that otherwise could be very destructive. Use your findings to turn floodwater situations into positive, constructive experiences to increase your wealth and sense of abundance. John, a friend of mine, was enjoying his life, moving with ease and seeing his heart's longing coming into view. He called me to share his joy and his experiences and both of us saw his heart's desire moving toward him. Excitement vibrated through him; Then within a couple of days his focus suddenly shifted. He blinked and realized he was looking at a totally different scene. What had happened? John took a detour just as he was readying himself to expand to a level of abundance unfamiliar to him. Often we resist the energy of more and its uncomfortable levels of intensity, commitment, and abundance. I checked out every article I could find on pain, meditation, diet, and exercise. As I began to devour their information, I started to understand how my emotions and stress were tied to my pain. I also learned that I could begin to improve if I moved just a little bit every day and then a little bit more the next. That's when I began the practice of daily meditation. Confession: I have the most active, busy, convoluted mind of anyone I know. So the fact that I could learn how to quiet my mind and find some sort of peace made me realize that this was possible for others. Because of what I gleaned, I was able to return to my career and travel around the country with a three-person pantomime and clown troupe. That is, until one summer, when I decided to enroll. That began my 40-year journey of research and practice in holistic health care. I am a complete devotee of mind over matter.