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And, thirdly, that therapeutic interaction at this emotional level, rather than interaction at an intellectual cognitive level, regardless of the content concerned, is the effective ingredient in therapeutic growth. These, I recognize, are bald assertions. It seems to me at the present that they are statements which can be proved only through subjective experience, and the data which will eventually enter into a proof or disproof, while always present in a relationship, are most often out of the range of a recording machine. But, if these phenomena can be subjectively experienced, there is obviously some way of communicating about them. In therapy, I am quite convinced that this communication takes place, primarily, at subverbal, subliminal or subconscious levels. I can only attempt to the best of my ability here to bring these things to the level of words. It seems to me that we can love a person only to the extent that we are not threatened by him; Thus, if a person is hostile toward me, and I can see nothing in him at the moment except the hostility, I am quite sure that I will react in a defensive way to the hostility. If, on the other hand, I can see this hostility as an understandable component of the person's defense against feeling the need for closeness to people, I can then react with love toward this person, who also wants love, but who at the moment must pretend not to. Similarly, and somewhat more important to me in my experience, I feel that positive feeling expressed by the client toward us can be a very real source of threat, provided again that this positive expression, in whatever form it may take, is not clearly related to these same basic motivations mentioned above. FINANCIAL PERSONAS It's time to recognize your own financial personas--the masks you wear when you focus on creating abundance--and how they drive you. Maintaining your persona costs you both energy and money. Many people remain frozen in time, locked in an old persona and drama. These same personas prevent you from pursuing true abundance and instead throw you on the rocks of ruin or require repeated passages through rough waters. Each of us has at least one financial persona, and most of us have two or more. Feel free to add to this small list: This Is a Big Deal Money Is Evil Easy Come, Easy Go High-Stakes Gambler Tightwad Spend, Spend, Spend It Ain't No Use Nothing Works I Can't Understand Money Poor Me I Can't Afford It The Rules Don't Apply

That's more than 20 percent of the adult population who are limited in their lives and work. Acute Pain versus Chronic Pain MBC techniques address the biopsychosocial components of both acute and chronic pain, which are very different. Acute pain is usually sharp, sudden, and specific. While horrible to experience, it lets us know that we need to rest our body. Acute pain often accompanies surgery, dental work, childbirth, or a sprained ankle. This is when medication, crutches, and rest are important. After six months, you should expect tissues to fully heal. Acute pain doesn't generally last longer than six months, and goes away when there is no longer an underlying cause. Chronic pain is ongoing and can continue even though the tissue has healed. I might add that the greatest struggle which I have had to date, in what seems like a perpetual process of becoming an adequate therapist, has been my searching out of these so-called basic motivations within myself, but this process alone has made it possible for me to enter into deeper and deeper relationships with clients of both sexes and all ages without feeling personally threatened by my feelings toward the client and by his toward me. Having again placed love at the forefront of my consideration here, I should like to return to the three assertions mentioned above which seem to grow out of this concept for me, and consider them in greater detail. First, I should like to consider why it is that in the past I have been unwilling to let any strong feeling of mine enter into the therapeutic relationship. At the beginning, the reason I gave myself for this unwillingness to become in any way emotionally involved was taken from the statements of many people who were experienced in the field. Statements such as: the therapist must keep himself out of it; At this level I was literally stuck for a long time, fearing the worst if I should let any kind of personal involvement enter into my relationship with my clients. Gradually, however, I began to find another level of reason for my fear of involvement which had reference to my own ability to accept my feelings and needs in relation to other people, rather than to a theory of what is good therapy. I should like to mention a few of the specific reasons which I found at this level as examples. The rather deeply disturbed client is usually preoccupied with himself and with his own problems, and I began to realize that all through my life I have been willing to become involved with people -- that is, to really give something of myself to them -- only when they have seemed to be in a position to give me something which I have needed in return. More bluntly, I have striven throughout my life to satisfy my needs, and because clients, as I have seen them, have been poor potential satisfiers of my needs, it has been safest not to express these needs -- actually, not to feel them in the therapeutic relationship.

Let Met Help You It's Only Money There Will Always Be Enough Penny Wise/Pound Foolish Clueless Sharp Pencil Bargain Shopper Wannabe Rich Happy Idiot Action Step Which ones call out to you? Which ones seem most distasteful? What other phrases and names would you use? Note all of this in your Travel Log. Notice what costume you put on when you slip into your persona, what money/financial activities you prefer to engage in and which ones you avoid. Ongoing pain is a result of a sensitive nervous system. It's multifactorial, meaning that there's more than tissue damage occurring--the whole body and brain become more sensitive. Examples of chronic pain include headaches, osteoarthritis, back pain, fibromyalgia, and collagen diseases. Chronic pain can cause a whole cascade of biopsychosocial events, impacting the body, mind, and spirit. Chronic pain can become coupled with fear of movement, fear of job loss, and a chain of emotional thoughts about what might happen if you continue to hurt. Physical effects include tense muscles, as well as stress and anxiety about the impact of ongoing pain. In this instance, motion is lotion. But the difficult part of moving with pain is convincing your frightened brain that doing so will improve your situation. After all, pain is real! Your brain has determined that there is pain, and your body responds to that information.

This absence of the possibility of direct and immediate satisfaction has been one reason for my refusal to really enter a therapeutic relationship, but there has been an even stronger reason. A lack of satisfaction is one thing, direct and outright rejection is another, and I have thus feared that if I allowed some of the more tender parts of myself to become exposed in a therapeutic relationship that they would be trampled on, misused, and perhaps ridiculed. These were some of the real reasons why a lack of involvement was appealing, or even more than that, mandatory. I assumed, of course, that the clients knew nothing of this; This may have been true at the client's level of consciousness, but unconsciously, I think he was learning directly from me, Do not be free in this relationship. Do not let yourself go. Do not express your deepest feelings or needs, for in this relationship that is dangerous. What do I mean by subconscious learning on the part of the client? At this point I can only say that when it became less necessary for me to hold this attitude in therapy, my clients immediately moved into those more delicate areas which I had been shutting off within myself, and the feelings and needs which were involved in these areas could not only be discussed, but also experienced freely and without fear. Formerly, I would have said that I did not need to let my own needs and feelings interfere with the progress of therapy; Consider what they do to create or consume abundance. What kinds of situations or dramas drive these personas? How can you change these situations to encourage more abundance? What might your larger drama and money drama look like? Spend some time sending love and gratitude to your financial persona(s). They have been working very hard to safeguard you and your abundance based on the money drama they are engaged in. To identify the presence of your financial persona, pay attention to all of your currents and sensations as you interact with the flow of money in your life. Notice your energy flow while paying your bills, buying a special treat for yourself or someone else, accepting a compliment or gift or money, or covering the tab for a friend or relative on an outing. Noticing your currents as you deal with your boss or colleagues will be especially interesting since that is where you spend hours of time and lots of energy. Also notice whether you are preserving an old script, playing variations, creating a new script, or flowing and creating abundance as you recognize your own personas.

Fortunately, MBC techniques can help your system become less sensitive to the alarms that are causing your chronic pain. The body has billions of nerve cells that are connected like highways. The nervous system is a living, breathing alarm system that sends danger messages in order to keep you safe. Take, for example, when you step on a sharp rock. The nerve in that leg sends a message to your brain that there is danger under your foot, and you better pay attention The brain gets your attention, and you hop off the offending rock, sit down, and rub your foot. Once you've done that, the alarm in your brain should relax and go back to normal. But for some people, this alarm is extra sensitive. This continued pain can even cause the neighboring nerves to become more sensitive. When you experience nerve pain, or neuropathic pain, the messages coming to your brain are extra sensitive. Imagine a house alarm system that goes off when a leaf blows against the door. I am merely saying that I feel that it is impossible for a therapist not to act in terms of his own needs. The only choice which is involved for me is whether I wish to react to whatever need I have to defend myself against feeling, needing, and involvement in general, or whether I wish to develop a sufficient acceptance of these needs and feelings so that they can be freely operative in all relationships, therapeutic and otherwise. At this point I should like to react to the contention which is sometimes put forward to the effect that when the therapist satisfies his needs in therapeutic relationship it is a distorted form of sublimation, a rather ugly and parasitic misuse of the client's emotional vulnerability. I certainly feel that this can happen, but responding to this possibility by withholding any emotion which it is feared may get out of hand, is for me an inadequate and castrating way of dealing with the same emotionality which I feel lies at the very heart of the best interpersonal relationships. We may now turn to my second assertion, since the discussion immediately above has provided a certain basis which allows me to deal with the therapist's needs. As soon as the word need is mentioned in this connection, I think that we often become concerned with rather specific needs which usually require in our culture a fairly specific context in which they can be legitimately satisfied. So long as these specific and pointed needs are at the forefront of the therapist's preoccupation, it does indeed seem ridiculous and out of taste to suggest that they be satisfied in the therapeutic relationship. What then are these very basic needs which I have probably made sound mysterious and obscure, which I maintain must be expressed by the therapist, if the client is to feel a maximum of security and freedom in the relationship? In my previous paper I could express them only in a negative way by saying that they were freely expressed and operative when the therapist felt completely free, uninhibited, and uncontrolled. To express these needs in a positive way is somehow very difficult because all the words I can think of sound so trivial while the feelings themselves feel so real and so potent.