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Self rides in the chariot of the body, intellect the firm-footed charioteer, discursive mind the reins. There is another way. One of the most popular narratives in psychology is that we ought to protect ourselves from other people's toxicity--their selfishness, narcissism, and entitlement. But what about protecting ourselves from the ways we sabotage our own happiness and put ourselves in positions to be hurt? Resentment is an emotional toxin we spit at others, yet it winds up poisoning us. This is clear in the moment of a particularly venomous remark when our face flushes, our heart rate jumps, we clench our jaws, and feel ready to ignite. It's not so much that emotions themselves are toxic, but that when we avoid their expression, they tend to come out anyway in convoluted, indirect, and exaggerated ways. Let's say you hurt my feelings by inviting our friend Peggy to a concert instead of me. I say nada, I stew, and I become resentful. But I don't want you to know that. Frankly, I don't want to know you have the power to hurt me, either. ) The good news is that you can care about what you care about, and I can do the same, and between us all, everything is covered. What would I march for metaphorically? The eradication of white supremacy, LGBTQ rights and dignity, gun reform, women's safety and equality worldwide, a safe family for every child, the end of human trafficking. What would you march for? Care of the earth, campaign reform, animal rescue, equality in education, media literacy, healthcare rights, religious freedom, criminal justice reform, more libraries, reforestation, care of veterans, early childhood intervention, maternal health, prison ministry, the return of cursive instruction in elementary schools, FDA reversal on cheese mite regulations, anything! Put it in the bucket! Look at all the things we can plead in favor of! Put yourself under the leadership of the greatest people and organizations you can find in the space.

Read and study and listen and learn. To gain access to the samples, Dominguez-Bello waded through an extensive pile of paperwork, and it took almost a year to get all the approvals. Rob Knight connected Dominguez-Bello and Dantas. The samples from Venezuela, which Dominguez-Bello had access to, could provide more information than just the origin story of Helicobacter. They could tell whether the native tribes--living far in the jungle and with no history of antibiotic use--were, in fact, naturally carrying any genes of antibiotic resistance. Dantas's lab got to work. Access to the samples was well guarded (just as Dominguez-Bello experienced), and properly so. They were incredibly rare and incredibly precious. Dominguez-Bello provided the contacts to the proper Venezuelan authorities, but the lab had to do the paperwork. And it was all to pursue a speculative outcome. The bureaucratic hurdles took months to clear, and as they waited, Dantas and Knight made sure that their lab was fully prepared for the eventual arrival of the samples, which landed in St. Yet to initiate and build relationships, we must risk rejection, which means being vulnerable while at the same time trying to do something that is new or challenging. The careful reader might notice an interesting contradiction here. On one hand, the protective function of self- esteem motivates an individual to avoid risk and rejection or to at least minimize these possibilities in life. On the other, the self- expansion function pushes people to take risks and thereby become more vulnerable for a time because that is the pathway toward personal or interpersonal growth. When examined more closely, however, what seems like a contradiction is actually an expression of the most dynamic part of self- esteem and how it works. In addition to its two basic functions, some impressive research indicates that self- esteem is also tied to basic self- motivations that all human beings have in common. For instance, Constantine Sedikides (Sedikides, Gaertner, & Cai, 2015; Hepper, Sedikides, & Cai, 2013) found cross- cultural evidence of four basic processes the self employs to sustain its existence.

These motivational universals are defensiveness, self- affirming reflections, positivity embracement, and favorable (self) construals. Senses are the horses, objects of desire the roads. When Self is joined to body, mind, sense, none but He enjoys. Now that we have a better understanding of the power of Sanskrit to guide us to deeper levels of meaning, we are ready to discover what happens when the body, mind, and heart are in alignment. When we are aligned, we feel strong, capable and confident. We find we have clarity and certainty, and our endeavors meet with success. For example, we know we need to get into shape, so we set a goal to exercise regularly. We're excited and resolved to follow through and we establish and stick to a weekly program. After three months, we feel healthier, happier and more energized. The alignment of our thoughts, feelings and actions increased our confidence, so that we will carry this forward and achieve even bigger fitness goals. When we are out of alignment, it is much more difficult to attain clarity, certainty and success. So, I wind up forgetting, if you will, how angry I am. I also forget to invite you to my party, an acting-out measure that sends a message, yet still seems innocent enough to me. You're more willing to feel your feelings and you let our friends and I know you think I'm a Clot for not including you. It's the emotions we're less aware of that often cause the most harm, the most toxic of which are those driven by righteousness and self-sufficiency. Both states make it hard to see our part in relationship problems. Often without realizing it, Clots spend immense time and energy gathering evidence against others. We're so convinced they're wrong and we're right that when we wield our indignation, it actually feels like we're retaliating against an attack. Then we invest, sometimes pathologically, in constructing powerful rationalizations of how we were wronged and must now do something about it. Increasingly, we protect ourselves from what we want and need, inadvertently isolating ourselves.

Painfully ensconced in a delusional self-sufficiency, we need no one because no one is good enough, or non-Clotish enough, to meet our needs. Volunteer behind the scenes, if that makes sense in your field. An invaluable tool of mine is studying the critiques. What do the critics of this advocacy say? Where are the tension points? What do the front lines look like out there? What conversations are like-minded advocates having right now? If your conviction is related to injustice for a group of people, your very first stop is pulling up a chair to their table and learning from their experiences. Remember, no one is actually voiceless. People have voices, just not enough listeners. There is no substitute for the lived experience of the people you care about. Louis in early 2013. The team went into overdrive--and the initial results were both fascinating and troubling. The studies showed that the members of the Yanomami carry bacteria that have resistance to some of the common antibiotics that are currently used in modern hospitals across the globe. But there was something more. The microbiome of the Yanomami had resistance to advanced, sophisticated antibiotics. 7 The data showed that the tribe had resistance to naturally occurring antibiotics, but also to synthetic antibiotics--which, by definition, were not supposed to be found in nature. How had a tribe closed off in the jungles of the Amazon developed resistance to drugs that had been created in pharmaceutical company labs during the 1980s? Dantas, Knight, and Dominguez-Bello showed something no one had expected--as was the case with Gerry Wright and Hazel Barton. Not only was the bacteria in the microbiome of previously uncontacted people antibiotic resistant, but the Yanomami were also resistant to drugs that were supposedly created in the lab.

8 How could this be? Defensiveness concerns the ways in which people deal with negative events, including negative feedback from others, that could disrupt a sense of self or well-being. These mechanisms are similar to the classical Freudian defenses that protect people from psychological pain, such as blaming others (displacement and rationalization), but they also include newer ones such as the self- handicapping strategy M readily employs. All of these largely unconscious practices or mental habits help self- esteem shield us from potentially destabilizing stressors. Self- affirming reflections are another technique individuals use to prevent the destabilization of the self and to maintain a sense of identity. They involve embracing ideological beliefs about the self and others that help manage stress by reducing pain, such as a sense of disappointment or loss. The truisms found in religion, philosophy, or folk wisdom, such as It happened for a reason or Things always work out in the end, might be examples of such helpful affirmations. A third type of basic self- motivation is something called positivity embracement and concerns how people go about getting positive feedback about themselves. There are many ways people may embrace the positive. We feel one way but act another. For example, a friend asks us for help; we agree, but we don't attend to it and it plays on our mind. It sours the relationship; eventually, we begin to avoid this friend. Once there was an old farmer who had an old horse. The horse looked tired, thin and weak. The farmer wanted to let the old horse live out the rest of its life with ease. So, he let the horse go free to roam around the hills and mountains.