This respect avoids damning the world as a whole just because it has some negative aspects. Instead, you appreciate that an imperfect world, where there are bad or undesirable things, can still be a good place. So, for example, despite the existence of poverty, sickness, and death, you do not damn the cosmos and are still open to the possibility of good things happening too. Sadly, many people lose sight of the forest for the trees and spend their lives deeply depressed about the crappy things, looking bleakly on the cosmos, and thereby depriving themselves of the opportunity to enjoy the good in the world. This deep philosophical understanding of human worth and dignity means that you "fully accept yourself even when you perform badly..." and, therefore, "counteracts your self-downing" (Ellis, 2001). You can unconditionally accept yourself without accepting your life, however. "Why do bad things happen to good people?" is a gnawing philosophical question, indeed. The practical starting point is to accept that shit happens. But that doesn't necessarily mean that your life is totally bad. "My life sucks, because I deserved to be promoted and instead they promoted that guy who has a fraction of my experience, and now he's my boss." That really is a tough break! But it doesn't mean your life as a whole sucks! Unconditional life acceptance means resisting this type of inference and remaining open to the good things in life even when shit happens. Remember, unless there is an immediate threat to your life or wellbeing, you should not be experiencing fear. If you are, something in your nervous system is misfiring. The more you ignore this simple biological fact and instead try to control all the outside factors that might be causing the anxiety, the more anxious and out of control you will feel. Because you are ignoring the real cause of your anxiety, the unnecessary or disproportionate triggering of your autonomic fear response, any attempts to "fix" the problem by trying to control your external world will simply backfire. First, remind yourself that having a legitimate concern about X does not mean that X is an imminent threat, and then refocus on getting this fear-threat system back under control. You will be able to consciously and intentionally restore a sense of peace and confidence. At first, with any of these exercises, depending on the intensity of your experience and how long you have been suffering from anxiety, it might take up to fifteen to twenty minutes of concentrated effort to get yourself back under control. With consistent practice, however, you can reduce this time to mere seconds.

Create new opportunities. When you offer to help a stranger, friend, and/or an organization, you never know what doors will open for you. Meet new people. Through volunteering, you will be amazed at the people you will meet. Volunteering is a delightful way to make new friends; you can talk to people who are relaxed and doing what they enjoy. Live your purpose. You are walking in your divine light. Your calling is a feeling and a fire in your heart and soul that you just can't shake away. Learn from others. Getting feedback from others is essential to learning and growing. Be observant. You can learn a lot by watching how someone with expertise approaches a situation. Feel blessed. Live a life of thanksgiving every day. A computer program handles the accounts, but I have to discipline myself to enter the data each night before I leave the office; that's a rule. I stay on top of it so it doesn't pile up, the old dog poop principle. I record the medications in my notebooks in green ink so I can find them, and also in a special folder. These strategies work pretty well. Given a choice, I would enjoy picking up the dog poop more than I enjoy doing all this paper work, but the strategies make it doable. Ideally, I'd delegate the paper work to my wife.

However in this small town she knows a number of the patients, so confidentiality would be a problem. Also it would be potential conflict between us if I were her `boss'. The current system works OK (I didn't say well) even though I'm working in an area where I'm weak, because I recognize my weaknesses and use strategies to cope with them. "John lied to me, so he's a rotten person" is a self-defeating inference because it leaves no room for rational discussion to resolve the matter. Instead, it fuels blind anger. "In lying to me, John did something rotten" leaves room for rational dialog with John and the possibility of a constructive resolution. Unconditional other acceptance means taking the latter, constructive approach to interpersonal problems. Authentic people are autonomous (self-determining) and live according to their own creative lights. They therefore do not demand the approval of others in trying to validate themselves. Instead, they value their individuality and personal freedom, and do not attempt to hide their responsibility for their decisions by blaming others or making other lame excuses. The point is, anxiety -- unlike fear -- is not a reaction to your environment. Anxiety may be triggered by context, but it is caused by a misfiring of the autonomic nervous system (the combined speed-up/slow-down nervous systems). Because of this, your best hope for reclaiming a sense of peace is to focus primarily on getting control of your body rather than your environment. The final step in the Relabel-Reattribute-Respond process is addressing the situation that triggered the misfiring of your fear-threat system. Again, just because your anxiety wasn't strictly caused by something outside of you doesn't mean there isn't a real problem to deal with. It's just to say that the particular stressor shouldn't be producing the kind of intense, fearful panic usually reserved for an imminent, physical threat. you successfully reattributed your experience of anxiety as a misfiring of your fear-threat system and used several of the suggestions you read above to get your fear-threat system back under control, you're ready to do something productive about the situation that inadvertently triggered the misfiring of your fear-threat system. Offer love. Love and kindness are great gifts to offer and they don't cost a dime. Forgive.

Forgiving and letting go are acts of self-love; they free your soul. Say thank you. Saying thank you or sending a handwritten card goes a long way and makes a difference in someone else's life. I'd like to conclude with a thank you to a special group of people. They don't get paid. They rarely take the time to enjoy a vacation. They often set aside their emotional, medical, financial, legal, and self-care needs. Who are these heroes? They are our family caregivers. I thank and salute you. You are the world's true heroes who demonstrate that true love is an act of giving unconditionally with no boundaries. Some jobs fit us perfectly and some types of jobs are disasters for people with ADD. They can almost destroy us. We need variety within structure. We need to avoid work requiring precision, concentration, repetition, and neatness. When possible, we need to delegate the things we are not good at. Know Thyself. Let's face it, we are not the easiest people in the world to live with. Some of us maybe wouldn't be easy to live with even if we didn't have ADD, but the ADD certainly makes it harder. We are unreliable, hyper-sensitive, easily irritated and frustrated, and we tend to take it out on others.

We don't listen well. We interrupt and we blurt things out without thinking. All that along with overall poor social skills which cause our partners frustration and embarrassment, and I could go on and on, but why bother? We're just not easy to live with. So in this section I'd like to say something to our significant others to make their lives easier, too. I'd like to, but I really don't know what to say. I asked my wife, and she says tell them to pray for patience. She also says it would help if we could have married a saint. I added, "Since we're fantasizing might as well be a rich saint." (are there any of those?). Being courageous means you are disposed to take reasonable risks, without under- or overestimating the danger. This means being afraid (or not afraid) to the extent that it is reasonable, and acting according to the merits of the situation. The courageous person does not demand certainty before acting but also does not take unreasonable risks. Such a person also does not awfulize or catastrophize about how bad something is--turning it into the worst thing, or near-worst thing, or much worse than it really is--and then worry excessively about it. This set of guiding virtues involves rational control over your actions, emotions, and will. By telling yourself you can't do otherwise, you can defeat your own purposes. For example, you can keep yourself from advancing by refusing to try. In contrast, a person with self-control can take control of her own life (body, mind, and spirit) by cognitively and behaviorally overcoming such self-defeating can'ts. There are three type of self-control. When you are stuck in an anxious response, you can't effectively problem-solve. You can only react to a problem, which will probably cause you to do something impulsive that can only make things worse.