But we are holding a tension here. How do we adapt the teaching of mindfulness to a context that is distinct from the origins of this belief system and way of learning (the dharma)? Can it be successfully modified and still maintain its Buddhist historical and ethical roots, and does that matter? In the current literature (for example, Monteiro et al., 2015), there is a discussion that argues that mindfulness-based programs are potentially problematic because they have removed mindfulness from its original Buddhist context and its explicit ethical training. This argument is usefully provocative and can assist the field to be thoughtful about what it is appropriating. However, those who are practicing as Yoga teachers are mostly governed by professional bodies requiring practitioners to do no harm. This is consistent with Buddhist precepts. Clarify the problem and the solution. you're not clear about what the critic is accusing you of, rephrase what they've said in your own words. I</a> just want to be clear, are you saying ...' orI'm not sure I've understood, do you think ...?' Once you're both clear what the problem is, if they haven't said so already, ask the other person what they think the solution is. Doing this is important because you're making a genuine attempt at finding out how the other person thinks that you can put things right and improve the situation. (You don't have to agree with their solution though.) There is controversy among the experts about stimulation and ADD. One group says that we're over stimulated, with too much coming at us for us to handle; our system is overloaded. They say we need to have a quiet simple place to study or work, with no distractions. The other group of experts says not so, that we need stimulation. They say that we actually can focus better if we have more than one thing going on; one isn't enough. So we might study better with the TV on than without it; I play music while I'm writing. My guess is that it depends on the person or on the situation. It would help us to learn how this applies to us; do I do better with quiet or with stimulation, and when? The need for stimulation might explain some aspects of Daffy's and my behaviors.

You would like your teenager to call you if they are out after 10pm. You want to get some help with household chores. You would like your coworker to turn down the volume of the music they are playing. You are working hard to improve your communication skills. However, the person you are talking to may not have the same goal or the same knowledge. Even when you speak to someone in an assertive way, there is no guarantee that they will meet you with the same style. They may still blow up aggressively or react passively and avoid committing to change. When you communicate assertively, at least you can walk away with no regrets about what you said. Here are a few tips for handling challenging communication situations like not feeling heard, negotiating, dealing with criticism and saying "no." Before he learned how to turn on his super-focus, Daffy wasn't looking at people while they conversed. He'd be looking at what was going on behind them or around them, maybe for the extra stimulation. They didn't like it or understand it. I'm uncomfortable in a restaurant if I can't see the room from where I sit. I need to see who's coming in and who's leaving. I don't know why. I'm pretty sure it's ADD though it could be something else, paranoia, for example. My wife says I must think I'm Wyatt Earp. It bugs her; she thinks I'm not paying attention to her. I am, but I guess not one-hundred percent of my attention. Maybe I need that extra stimulation to feel awake or focused, and just one thing is not enough stimulation. One of the ADD theories is that since our brains need a lot of stimulation, we provide it for ourselves through our hyperactivity.

Maybe that's why I jiggle my foot or tap the knife on the table in a restaurant until my wife asks me to stop, at which point I start trying to balance the knife on edge. To this understanding of ethics, we believe we need to add an additional dimension. Depending on the culture (and its beliefs), social systems will determine what is ethical, normative, and therefore sanctioned. In an article by Rachel Naomi Remen (1988), a physician and a contemplative writer, she defines ethics as a "set of values, a code for translating the moral into daily life." We could define this morality as an integrity of purpose and based on several things, not least the relationship we have with ourselves, others, and our environment. Now we are going to do something a little different. I want you to pull out your binder or computer. It is crucial that you know all the details of your body from head to toe in order to design a customized workout plan. Let's walk through these steps. Remember, you need to contact your trusted healthcare professionals to tell them about your new plan and get their input. Do you know your body mass index (BMI)? If so, what is it? If not please request that your trusted healthcare professional, certified trainer, or dietitian check your BMI. What's your attitude? Do you know that your attitude is everything when you start a new healthy lifestyle change? Now, on a scale of one to ten, what is your current attitude? If your attitude is on the lower end, what action do you think will help you to raise your attitude to a higher level? Which body type are you? Ectomorph, mesomorph, or endomorph? How do you know? Explain.

Having listened, clarified and asked what they want you to do about it, you slow the exchange down, which gives you time to respond positively; it gives you time to consider what the critic is saying, decide whether it's fair and valid and what your response will be. You may agree or disagree that certain aspects of their criticism are valid. So, in the example above, you might respond by saying: `I don't agree that I'm disorganized and always forget what you want me to do. But yes, I do sometimes fail to meet deadlines (there are reasons for this) and yes, I often don't let people know where I am or what I'm doing. I'm sorry. I'll do something about that. I'll do what you suggest and ...' In Buddhism, as in many traditions and religions, the concept of right relationship asks that we be aware of our intentions and motivations, as they will determine our actions and their effects on us and others. In terms of teaching Yoga, reflecting on a personal code of ethics is a good start. This is somewhat uncommon and one that is not often overtly considered in professional practice as it is taken as self-evident. In addition, we typically rely on our training and professional bodies to provide these boundaries through regulation. But here, we are making this code of ethics intentional and explicit as the practice of mindfulness incorporates a way of being, as discussed above, so values derived from the practice of mindfulness become guiding principles for the teacher. Criticism opens you up to other people's perspectives and interpretations of you - what you think, say and do. OK, it might not all be accurate and the other person may be harsh and exaggerated (critics often are when they're upset, frustrated or angry) but you need to look for seeds of truth in criticism. It's not easy to take an honest look at yourself and admit that you've done something wrong. But it's OK to have flaws. It's part of being human. If you can admit weaknesses and work on them without putting yourself down, you'll strengthen your ability to handle a variety of situations in positive ways. I enjoy being with my wife and having a conversation with her. But I get antsy after a while and I need to do something else. This frustrates her and also hurts her feelings.

I may get up to go to the bathroom, or to check my phone for messages. I may pull out my cards and write down something that just occurred to me, a creative idea or a to-do that I'd forgotten. I need to check my appointment book or to-do card frequently, to stay oriented. Problem: "What if my mind goes blank, or I just blurt something out?" Stress is often behind moments of blanking out or blurting words that you regret later. Difficult communication situations are often stressful. This stress triggers your "fight or flight" system, an instinctive response designed to help you to survive physical threats by fighting or running from them. Unfortunately, this response tends to make communication worse by taking resources away from the brain. In a stressed state, you may be unable to think of the right words for what you want to say, or you may say things that you later regret. The "fight" response makes you act more aggressively, and the "flight" response makes you act more passively. Start out by tracking your weight biweekly so you will not get discouraged. Once you get your groove on--are on track and fully committed--then you can adjust your tracking system as you go. Nutrition has a major influence on our overall body response and success. Consult with your dietitian or other trusted healthcare professional for tips on what supplements are best for you. Wear lightweight and loose fabrics; you do not want to feel restricted while you are training. Well-designed activewear should feel like a second skin. Professions that are actively involved in working with psychological and physical conditions have licensing requirements and boards that act as legal parameters for the scope of their professions and guide behavior. Yoga teachers working with mood-disordered populations will be working under their specific professional clinical licenses and following the ethical boundaries outlined by their governing bodies. All of this activity bugs my wife, but without it I get increasingly uncomfortable. The antsy feeling is like restless legs syndrome at night; the tension builds up in your leg until you just have to move. You can't not move it.