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If this posture is replicated in a formal context, then it suggests boredom or lack of concentration. If a speaker reads this body language, then he or she should realize that one of the members of the audience is feeling less interested in the message and should activate self-feedback. Self-feedback includes things such as am I speaking fast. Day 6 takes the information you learned in the last article and builds on it to introduce another important memory tool for learning numbers--phonetic sounds. Words to Remember Things By In the last article, you learned about how to use the Phonetic Number Code System to remember numbers. For the purpose of this article, I have repeated the consonant letters of this system. What follows is a challenging memory tool that uses this system to sharpen your memory. What you're going to do with these phonetic sounds is create a library of words based on those consonant sounds. Sound confusing? Now that you've run out of single-digit numbers, what do you do for double-digit numbers? For a two-digit number, the word must begin with the consonant sound representing the first digit, and end with the consonant sound representing the second digit. Even though that explanation sounds like a confusing phrase you'd find in a contract (such as the party of the first part, herein referred to as the party of the second part. Optimistic self-talk is the way in which we stop negative events from overwhelming us and sapping our desire and enthusiasm. Using techniques such as the Adversity worksheet, it becomes possible to develop an ear for your own pessimistic self-talk and that of others. Building on the self-awareness described in article 2, it is possible to develop an ear for the language used by our emotional brain when we encounter adversity. EXERCISE 4. Adversity: What has happened? Beliefs: What is the emotional part of my brain saying? Explanatory style

Consequences: How could this alter my behaviour if I believe the emotional part of my brain? Disputation: How do I push back on these beliefs? Explanatory style Should I give them a break? Should I vary the tone? For the posture where one crosses the legs from the ankle to the soles of the feet while seated, it communicates that one is trying to focus on an informal context such as at home. For instance, if a wife or a child asks the father about something that he has to think through, then the individual is likely to exhibit this posture. If this posture is replicated in a formal context, then it suggests boredom or lack of concentration. Akin to all aspects of communication, it is imperative that the audience generates feedback for the speaker to take into account and adjust accordingly. While some forms of body language indicate casualness, they are not entirely deliberate, and they are merely stating the true status of the affected individual. What is important is for the speaker to adjust the communication by simplifying it, introducing breaks, varying tone, and being sensitive about how the audience feels. Even though posture is affected by our health status and sometimes the furniture, in standard environments, our posture is largely mediated by our emotional states, and for this reason, body posture can help communicate more about an individual character, personality, and emotion. One of the advantages of body language is that it is hardly influenced by the conscious mind, and this makes body language a highly reliable source of profiling a person. The next question in your mind is almost certainly: How is this coding system going to help my memory? The solution: Once you know these words, they will help you remember virtually anything, from a list of numbers to a random list of items, and they don't have to follow a particular order. These phonetic words are used to help your memory. One way to look at the system is as a way to change the abstract-- numbers--into something concrete. While it may be difficult to mentally picture the number 20, it certainly isn't difficult to picture the phonetic word--nose. Once you become familiar with these phonetic words, then the image that the word suggests automatically pops into your head whenever you hear that number. How does it work?

Let's say, for example, that you need to remember ten items to buy at the grocery store and item number six is cheese. The phonetic word for number six is shoe. Associate these two images in your mind with a visualization; Energisation: What can be learned from the situation? Niels is a sales vice-president for a payments solutions provider based in Amsterdam. He took a junior colleague to an advanced prospect meeting fully expecting to close a major deal with a newly appointed contact, a deal that was to contribute a significant amount to his personal and team target. At the meeting, the prospect abruptly announced that he had already appointed a competitor to take their business. Returning to the office after the short meeting, Niels sat in a meeting room with his colleague to conduct a review of the sales meeting and was so shaken by what he had just experienced that he removed his glasses and, without realising, crushed them in his hand. What Niels had experienced was an adversity. In front of a junior colleague, to whom he is a leader and role model, he had experienced a serious competitive loss. Realising that achievement of his own target is in jeopardy, he is at once embarrassed and angry towards the prospective customer. He is now questioning his own ability to do his job and worrying about his reputation in the company. What will my senior vice-president say? We require reading body language so that we can ascertain the truth-value of the claims of an individual. If a person says that they are feeling sorry for what they did before you can accept their apologies, you will need to ascertain the honesty of that claim, and this where reading body language comes in. As indicated, some professions such as medical, law enforcement, and conflict resolution require near accurate reading of an individual's body language. As suggested, posture and body, orientation should be read in the context of the entire body language to develop the full meaning being communicated. Starting with an open posture, it is used to denote friendliness and positivity. In this open position, the feet are spread wide, and the palms of the hands are facing outward. Individuals with open posture are deemed more persuasive compared to those with other postures.

To realize an open posture, one should stand up or sit straight with the head raised and keep the abdomen and chest exposed. When the open posture is combined with a relaxed facial expression and good eye contact, it makes one look approachable and composed. Maintain the body facing forward toward the other person during a conversation. If item number nine at the store is a mop, then associate this with the phonetic word for the number nine, which is pie. Visualize yourself mopping up dozens of pies that have spilled on the floor. You'll find numerous uses for this new memory tool. Say, for instance, that you have to memorize a number with many digits. Use your phonetic words and those pesky digits spring automatically to mind. Or say that you have to learn the fifty states in alphabetical order. State number 12 is Idaho, and your phonetic word for 12 is tin. Thus, by using the substitute word tool, you come up with Ida-hoeing for Idaho. Now, visualize Ida-hoeing tin; Now it's easy to remember that Ida-hoeing is state number 12. Two days after his adversity, Niels had the opportunity to reflect quietly about what had happened and spent some time with me discussing his emotional reaction using the three dimensions of optimism. He also completed the worksheet with the colleague who had joined him at the meeting. The first thing that struck him was that he now realised that he had taken the lost deal very personally. He had also been telling himself that it was now impossible to meet his targets. So, he was explaining the adversity to himself in both a personal and permanent explanatory style. Niels also recognised that if he allowed these explanations to take hold, he could lose confidence and stop persisting in performing key aspects of his sales role. But when they reviewed what had happened, he and his colleague reflected that the prospect was new to the client organisation and had come from another company where he had had a long-standing relationship with their competitor.

Thinking about it from the prospect's perspective, this did not reflect on Niels personally, particularly as the two had never met. When they examined Niels's sales pipeline in detail, they agreed that there were enough opportunities to meet their targets in spite of the loss. Under the heading of `Energisation', Niels reflected that he could in future be more vigilant when new appointees at a prospect organisation come late to the sales process and be proactive in seeking out information about prior relationships with competitors. Regarding the closed posture, one crosses the arms across the chest, or crosses the legs away from someone or sits in a hunched forward position as well as showing the backs of the hands and clenching the fists are indicative of a closed posture. The closed posture gives the impression that one is bored, hostile, or detached. In this posture, an individual is acting cautious and appears ready to defend himself or herself against any accusation or threat. If this posture is exhibited in an audience, then the individual is feeling insecure by the message, the speaker, or due to the actions of another member in the audience. Additionally, there is a confident posture that helps communicate that one is not feeling anxious, nervous, or stressed. The confident posture is attained by pulling oneself to full height, holding the head high, and keeping the gaze at eye level. Then pull your shoulders back and keep the arms as well as legs to relax by the sides. The posture is likely to be used by speakers in a formal context such as when making a presentation, during cross-examination and project presentation. One should also take note of the postural echoing and is used as a flirting technique by attracting someone in the guardian. It is attained by observing and mimicking the style of the person and the pace of movement. One of the advantages with this memory tool is how it's used to remember things out of sequence. Linking, for example, has its limitations: If you have twenty-five items on a list, and you need to remember item number 20, you would have to go through each item before you came to number 20. The same limitation is true with the loci method. To remember something that you've placed in your bedroom, for instance, you'd have to make your way through your entire mental house until you came to the bedroom where you placed it. Using the advanced phonetic coding system, however, alleviates these problems. Once you've devised and become familiar with your phonetic words, you will be able to remember any item on a list just by hearing its number, no matter what the sequence. How many phonetic words should you know?