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The goal is to become wise, correct? Right now, we're acknowledging some stereotypical definitions of foolish activity. But, let's think a little more real world by examining some circumstances that don't seem foolish, but also don't inspire wisdom. How about the couple that never goes out on date nights, because they allowed life's troubles to kill the spark in the relationship? How about the parents that are in constant fights with their kids, but they've given up on trying to seek counsel and guidance, because the last two times they tried, it didn't work? How about the mid-30s guy who drinks by himself, alone, on a weekend, watching sports, instead of honing his skills on woodworking, something he's been wanting to be good at? How about the woman in her early 40s, who's stuck in her human resources field, but she's already thrown in the towel on trying to start her own consulting firm? If the goal is to become wise, but our lives look stagnant and bland, are we secretly living a foolish lifestyle? Sex addict, sex abuser, sexual molester--were they all one and the same? I didn't know what to think, so I focused on what he said about this affair being over and I thought, Good, it's over with, and locked it up in some mental container in my head to not think about it. But what I did not know for a long time was he was acting out more and more. Because I was suspicious, I went searching for proof and found his journal, which was the darkest day of my life. I read about affairs that had been going on for years, for one hour, one night, several months, and multiple affairs at the same time. I thought I would die. I actually thought about suicide. I was overwhelmed and wanted a divorce. He went to treatment. I didn't hear any additional information. We have the tools to impact the ways in which our genes manifest themselves. Functional medicine allows me to delve into genetic variations, the impact of oxidative stress, nutrient imbalance, and how different environmental toxins break down our bodies, according to varying socioeconomic conditions and climate exposure.

These differences change the ways our bodies respond to stress and create oxidative stress and inflammatory changes. These pathways of inflammation lead to our symptoms and to different disease states. It was in my postgraduate years that I learned how to keep people well. It is my goal to educate people about the multitude of various stressors in our lives, ranging from the environmental (poor air and water quality, extreme climate changes, poor food quality with pesticides, and GMO and processed foods), to the chemical (toxins in water and medication side effects) to the mental (feeling out of control). I continue to strive to find tools that allow me to practice medicine the way my grandfather did--holistically. I continue to search for knowledge that will empower my patients. Aging is an inevitable part of life. I want to teach my patients not to fear it but to embrace aging. Could we be caught up in a world of friends, family members and work colleagues that don't push us to become wise? Could we be in an occupation, a city or a home that doesn't provide the opportunity to accomplish our goals? Could we be living pathetically apathetic lives, just because we're caught up in the pathetically apathetic world around us? We can easily find the foolish lifestyle to be an appealing one. It requires few responsibilities, looks very fun and is ultimately a selfish lifestyle. You could find that the normalcy of your life isn't that foolish. What's wrong with working in a job that just pays the bills? What's wrong with being immensely chill and doing nothing on the weekends? On the surface, this life looks perfectly innocent, but let me remind you about what a good person looks like in my mind: I believe you're a good person if you live a very intentional life, a life that's dedicated to improving yourself and the world around you. Design your life influence you to become wise? I really got it all in his journal so there was nothing more to add. As hard as it is to know--and I did need to know, to get to where we are today--that was not the way to find out.

I wish it had been a structured therapeutic disclosure. Every discovery is a trauma-inducing event. Often partners become overwhelmed and go into a freeze state putting their heads into the sand for years. Others have suicidal thoughts and often think of dying. Needless to say it's a horrific time, a time of great darkness. When you first hear the news, you may only take in a piece of the whole picture. It's likely that even if you are aware of the severity of the acting out, you may not view it as an addiction from which one recovers, but more like something that men just do. You may believe if the man feels guilty enough, he will just stop. We may not be as fast, our joints may feel creaky, and we may have more wrinkles on our faces. But we can be strong. We can be at peace and free of chronic illness. It is all about balance. Breaking Down When balance is disrupted, stress and inflammation are created--the role of our central nervous system. We now know that imbalance in our bodies can cause illness. Now, let's understand which factors create imbalance in the first place. Imbalance is prompted by stress and can be brought on by an injury, anxiety, toxins we ingest, lack of activity, and many more triggers. The powerful effect of stress on your body is the most important concept that we will relay to you, because if you recognize how stress works, you can then start the healing process. To be more intentional? You Can Be Successful and Foolish

It's been profitable for many people to act foolish! It's often the dream for people to get paid to act stupidly. There are many comedians that stake their fame and fortune on acting recklessly. Bert Kreischer is one of the prime examples of making it big out of his tom-foolery. Bert is a stand up comedian that's had a massively successful career touring around the globe. He's friends with other great comedians like Tom Segura, Ari Shaffir and Joe Rogan. He's also starred in his own television shows over the years. Bert's career got started in 1997, when he was just starting to do stand up gigs. Your response may be one of shame, guilt, fear, and rage, and very often you have no safe environment to express these feelings or even begin to understand the ramifications of what is occurring. Even with the very real threat of leaving the relationship or getting a divorce, unless the addict is in a treatment/recovery program for sex addiction, you are probably not hearing the full extent of his behavior. Therefore, neither you nor he is seeing its addictive nature. While some women are genuinely unaware of the behavior at the time they hear the news, most suspect or are somewhat aware of the acting out. And many, when they do find out, say they would prefer not knowing. In the long run, it is my professional bias that you will benefit more from knowing about his behavior than not. Addictive behavior flourishes in isolation and secrecy. It is a therapeutic tenet that secrets not only interfere with recovery, they preclude the possibility of recovery and they will fuel relapse. As difficult as it is for him to disclose the extent of his behavior and for you to hear it, it is a vital aspect of the recovery process both for you individually and for your relationship. The value of knowing the truth is that it reinforces trust in your own perceptions and allows you to deal honestly with the relationship. The term stress was coined in the 1950s by Hans Seyle, MD, a pioneer in the field of endocrinology. He defined stress as a body's response to a demand for change.

Stress can be emotional, mental, physical, chemical, or environmental. It can be a physical reality or created in our minds, but in either case it sets off a fixed reaction in our bodies. Seyle broke down stress into eustress and distress. Eustress is good stress driven by positive anticipation, such as when we are expecting a child, starting a new job, or planning a vacation. It refers more to the way our body reacts to stress. It gives us good coping skills and makes our senses hyperacute. Distress, on the other hand, is negative stress and triggers inflammation and oxidative stress. Distress occurs when we suffer the loss of a child or spouse, termination of a job, or divorce. More importantly, though, the Rolling Stones magazine put out a story about the biggest party schools and partiers in the country. They named Florida State the biggest party school in the country and guess who they named as the biggest partier in the country? That's right, Bert Kreischer. He's known for performing his stand up sets shirtless, telling stories about inadvertently helping Russian mob members rob a train and constantly getting invited to just party with people. Literally, on one of Joe Rogan's podcasts, Bert describes a gig where he was simply asked to drink and party with white collar business people. (Bert Kreischer, The Machine) It's helped him have massive success, but the entire foolish genre of comedy and entertainment makes big money. There's the National Lampoon franchise, with its series of movies, television shows, radio shows and the 28-year long magazine from the `70s to the '90s. There's the show, Impractical Jokers, that's been running for eight seasons, since its release in December 2011. The #2 highest grossing comedy film currently is Hangover Part II, where the entire premise is based on getting black out drunk and finding out what the hell happened the night before! Knowing the truth gives the relationship the potential for an honest foundation. You deserve to have the information to make objective choices about whether or not you want to continue in the relationship and/or go through the journey of potential recovery with him.