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By using the Phonetic Number Code System, you can turn 410 into rts, 472 into rkn, and 6291 into gnpt. You now have to add vowels to turn these consonant sounds into words. The first word (the area code) becomes riots, the second raccoon, and the third gunpoint. So you are probably building a picture of a middle-aged club player who, in his early fifties, is about as good as he's going to get. And you'd probably be right if I were to leave things as they are. So if I were to adopt a growth mindset to my tennis and believe that I can improve my skills, how might I plot my path to greatness? While a wildcard to Wimbledon is probably going to remain out of my reach, I might achieve greatness at a local level, say the veterans tournament that my club runs each September. So let's start with my outcome goal. When Angela Lee Duckworth first published her article Grit, of which more shortly, I immediately completed a goal-mapping structure for my tennis. Looking at it now, there is a problem with my outcome goal (winning the men's veterans singles trophy given a personal best so far of making a semi-final and losing in straight sets). The problem is that the competitive landscape doesn't stand still. Our club is growing and constantly recruiting new members, some of whom are very good players and in their mid-forties - which means that they can compete in the veterans' tournament (the cut-off age is 45). Also we have some great players that turn 45 and then become eligible. When the person felt the need to connect more with you and have given you the benefit of the doubt, the person allowed you to move through public distance and social distance to enter their personal space. For instance, a lot can be learned from studying distance and space in communication. Being allowed into the social and personal distances implies that the person trusts that you will not harm them emotionally and physically. For the intimate distance, being allowed into this distance implies that the person trusts you so much and is confident that you can never harm them and that you share a lot. For instance, a mother holding her baby close enough to her signals that the baby is feeling assured of security and protection. When two lovers move, closer until their faces are almost touching suggests trust and confidence that the other person feels safe and protected. Relatedly, if arguing with your child or lover and the individual moves farther from you physically, then it suggests that the person no longer feels safe with you being within their personal distance.

Issues that can cause someone to expand the distance between you and them include the risk of violence from you and emotional issues. If you occasionally act violently, then chances are, your lover or children will expand the personal distance to social distance because this is where they feel safe due to your personality and character. It then appears that your prior behavior will also affect the distance during communication. Thus, Catherine Knott's telephone number is riots raccoon gunpoint. Now that you've got the words, you can peg them to Catherine by using those old favorite memory tools, visualization and imagination. Visualize a riot of raccoons carrying guns, pointing them at some distant target with Catherine right in the middle of the group, acting as their squad leader. To make the image more memorable, picture the gun-toting rioting raccoons crawling on the ground commando style, with Catherine right there beside them, dressed in green battle fatigues. Now when you think of Catherine's phone number, the image of those rioting raccoons springs right to mind, and so does the phrase riots raccoon gunpoint. By taking the vowels out of the words and reverting back to their phonetic sounds, you quickly come up with Catherine's number. That's all there is to remembering telephone numbers. While at first it may seem awkward and time-consuming to convert the numbers to sounds, then words, and then come up with a linking visualization, you'll find yourself doing it faster and faster each time you practice it. Of course, the more times you call Catherine the more you'll remember her number, until finally you won't need the visualization at all. The number pops into your head as easily as if you had written it on a piece of paper. Because I play a part as a volunteer in growing the club's membership, I'm actually making it harder for myself to achieve my outcome goal. So a fresh approach to goal-setting is needed. Remember my observation that tennis, unlike golf, does not have a handicap system. However, researching the sport a little further, it turns out that the Lawn Tennis Association (LTA) has player rankings. Logging into my account, it shows that I don't have a ranking as doubles matches do not contribute. But there is a ranking for men in Middlesex in the 50 to 55 age group that play in singles tournaments that does count. There are 56 of these men, in fact.

They are probably all very serious players who would wipe the floor with me in singles. Which part of my brain do you think is talking now? So my outcome goal is to get into the top half of my table. Nevertheless, they are other issues that cause individuals to extend the distance of interaction, and these include having a medical condition or having hygiene issues. For instance, if you are sweaty, then chances are that the other person may prefer to extend the distance of communication between you and them. Having oral hygiene issues may also make the other person move far away from you because the smell turns them off. For this reason, interpreting the distance between communicators should also include hygiene and health-related issues that impact this distance. For instance, some medical conditions can make people maintain some distance from you or be closer to you physically. For instance, some conditions may attract uneasiness, and this includes epilepsy. People with epilepsy get seizures, and this can make people feel unease being closer to them because they inadvertently fall. On the other hand, having hearing issues or sore throat may make people move closer to you physically to facilitate effective communication. However, these are exceptions when analyzing space and distance as forms of nonverbal communication, but they should be taken into account where necessary. In some cases, it is welcome to invade personal distance merely by circumstances. Helpful Tips Before you move to the exercise below for converting telephone numbers, here are a few tips to help you if you're having trouble with the consonant/vowel concept: Insert vowels in alphabetical order--a, e, i, o, u. Don't immediately try to see what ro can be, for instance. Start with ra; Consider all the possible vowel combinations before deciding upon the best one. Sometimes, the first one that you find may not be the best or most memorable.

Remember that several numbers offer more than one option for consonant sounds. The number 8, for example, has the consonant sound for both f and v. Don't get frustrated if your first attempt doesn't work. That would mean being ranked 28 or higher in my group. So I'll need to find some singles tournaments that I can enter. Again, a search on the site - using various filters - shows that there are a number of open singles tournaments for the over 50s. That's my outcome goal sorted. What about my mid-level goals? One might be to progress to a late round in one of the many open tournaments that I have now discovered operate in my area. Let's say a quarter-final. The other discovery I've made is that I have a rating as well as a ranking. This is the equivalent of a golf handicap. My rating is currently 9. For instance, when attending a match in a full packed stadium or sitting to watch a movie in a movie theater, one will have his personal invaded due to the sitting arrangements. In this context, one may feel uneasy with this arrangement, but he or she has little control of the situation. While we value and seek to protect personal spaces, some situations make us allowing invasion of this space because it is beyond control. Mark is talking to his girlfriend, and their noses are almost touching. Comment on what this means. Do you feel that the actions of Mark are appropriate? Why or Why not?

The following day, Mark is talking to his girlfriend while standing nine feet away. Comment on what this means. An elderly person asks Mark to assist him in how to shop online using the smartphone. Tool Time, Part 2: Number, Please Below are five telephone numbers. Break the numbers into their consonant sounds. Convert the consonants into words by adding vowels. Devise a visualization for each. How did you do? Were you able to come up with concrete words and visualizations for each number? Just in case you had trouble, here are some suggestions: Visualization: A person made of tin, slapping together peanut butter and jelly onto bread to make a sandwich for lunch. Visualization: A shaking, rollicking gambling casino. That's my second mid-level goal. Now, let's move on to my process goals. I already get weekly coaching from the club head coach, Sami. Let's keep that as a process goal but I think I could do more with it, looking at what Anders Ericsson tells us about purposeful practice. During my last lesson, Sami filmed me serving on his phone. The result wasn't terribly attractive - how we think we look and how we really look are rarely the same - but it did bring home to me how I need to change the action of bringing back my service arm. So, while our lessons do have a purpose and we work on certain aspects of the game, we could do more to get feedback, such as have a plan for certain strokes and make video filming a regular feature.