Justin Wren needed his skills in wrestling and his inspiring comeback story to take place prior to saving the Pygmy people. No matter what opportunities these people did or didn't have, they still chose to consistently be above average. They chose to take on the role of influencer. They made conscious decision after conscious decision to keep saying yes to the challenge. They never settled for average. They put in the many, many hours of effort required to become remarkable and impactful. In fact, there's a theory that's been immensely studied called the 10,000 Hour Rule. The theory purports it's estimated that it takes at least 10,000 hours of work to master anything. Messages about sex were distorted or shaming, therefore creating confusion and pain for their children. More often than not, both members of the coupleship were raised in family systems in which they experienced a range of emotional and physical abandonment. Abandonment Physical abandonment means that a person's basic physical needs are not attended to consistently. A child looks to his parent for food, shelter, clothing, and appropriate supervision. Any time a child experiences physical and/or sexual abuse that is considered physical abandonment. If you were not afforded the protection, the safety, and the security you needed to thrive, you experienced abandonment. When you feel that you have to hide major aspects of your being in order to be accepted or to protect yourself, this is abandonment. When you believe it is not physically or psychologically safe to make a mistake, to have your own needs, to have accomplishments, or to freely express the range of feelings that are part of the human experience, this is abandonment. If boundaries were lacking, permissive, too rigid, or otherwise seriously distorted, if you were expected to live out another person's dreams or to engage in peerlike relationships with those in the parental role, or if your parents' expectations were not age-appropriate, then you have experienced abandonment. They don't see animals. They don't even understand that they're part of the natural world around them because they don't spend enough time interacting with it.

The problem is one of what they call ecological perception, and we're blind to it. The only way to really shift our perspective is to spend more time in nature. There's no other way. Fundamentally, if we're going to save our planet, we have to start seeing the actual planet. The newest path to peak performance is the oldest one. A lot of the measurement technology is trying to hack the body. Unless you're an elite athlete who's in the top 5 percent and trying to get into the top 1 percent, I don't know what you're measuring. I can understand the value of certain baselines, but once you've achieved a certain level of fitness, the biggest bang for your buck is going to be in hacking your brain, not your body. Daniel Levitin, neurologist and author of four consecutive #1 best-selling articles, discusses how pivotal this rule is to fostering excellence in any area: In study after study, of composers, basketball players, fiction writers, ice skaters, concert pianists, chess players, master criminals, and what have you, this number comes up again and again. Of course, this doesn't address why some people get more out of their practice sessions than others do. But no one has yet found a case in which true world-class expertise was accomplished in less time. It seems that it takes the brain this long to assimilate all that it needs to know to achieve true mastery. In order for us to save the world, we must prove ourselves, over time, to be the worthy heroes. Saviors and heroes do not live average lives for a reason. This is why it's erroneous to expect ourselves to be heroes overnight! We've already talked, at length, about how people can't seem to trust each other, hindering their faith in humanity, and themselves. As for this article, I'd like to ask this main question: If we look at our own lives, how should we expect ourselves to start saving the world? Physical or emotional abandonment is hurtful, painful, and traumatic to a child's development. Depending on the severity of abandonment, it can be disruptive to healthy self-esteem, your sense of worth and value, emotional maturity, and social and relational skills.

In psychological terms this is regarded as arrested development. As a result of abandonment, what you see is that both of you can act out in similar, and at the same time very different ways. THE PARTNER: TRAUMA REPETITION Kate has much in common with the other women sharing their stories in this article. She was raised in an alcoholic and violent family. She is divorced from two different alcoholic men and is now married to an active sex addict. Her husband has had multiple relationships with other women and now he is flagrantly acting out in a manner that she cannot totally deny. She knows he sees prostitutes and on a recent visit to one, he brought their four-year-old son with him. That essentially means hacking flow. The easiest way I know to do that is to send you outside. It's just faster, a shorter distance from A to B. We started thinking we were superior to nature and separated ourselves from it four hundred years ago, when we began believing that I think, therefore I am and privileged the rational mind above everything else. Now we've come to the end of our psychological tether. We've done what we can do with technology, and it's time for some new methodologies. The data seems pretty overwhelming to me that one of the newest methods--returning to nature--is actually one of the oldest ones. We evolved in a natural environment, so going back into the environment is one of the best and simplest solutions. Be your best when you're at your worst. I believe that there are five kinds of grit [per University of Pennsylvania psychology professor and author of Grit, Angela Duckworth: Optimism + Confidence + Creativity = Resilience = Hardiness = (+/- )Grit], and if you're really interested in high performance, you've got to train all of them. How can my fellow college students at Oral Roberts University expect to go out there and change the world when we've been so unremarkable? When we continue to be so average in our time and efforts, how can we expect results that are above average?

Here's the good news. How to Save Our World We all live in our own bubble of society, right? We interact with our own friends, family members, work colleagues and other humans. How are we a hero to them? Being a good friend to a person who needs it? Doing an extra call after hours with a customer or client to make their day? Sending someone a gift they didn't expect? Yet she still has the ability to rationalize: He is stressed by our two young children. He wouldn't do this if he weren't on drugs. She deliberately does not ask questions. If she doesn't ask, then it is as if she doesn't have to know. She doesn't ask for help because, as she says, I just need him to stop. She doesn't assert any limits because her fear is that he will leave her. In ultimate desperation she finds herself left alone in a hotel room with a baby just a few weeks old and a four-year-old, no car, no food, and no money while he goes to get more drugs and meet up with a girlfriend; Kate didn't get to this place overnight. Her childhood history was her training ground long before she entered any of her three addictive relationships. As with most partners of addicts, dysfunction ruled her original family. One of the most important things is training to be at your best when you're at your worst, and you can't just develop that cognitively. You have to train it physically at the same time.

That's why when I'm preparing for my speeches, I recite them on hikes up a mountain. That way, I know if I show up to give a speech and I'm exhausted and I haven't slept for three days and I'm sick with a stomach virus, I can still deliver the speech because I can do it while hiking uphill. To train for being at your best when you're at your worst, you need to train when you're cold, wet, and far from home. I also apply this when I'm skiing. Once I get to the end of the day and I'm freezing, starving, and exhausted on the ski hill, I coax two more rounds out of myself, every time. I say, Okay, you're done. You're taxed. You owe me two runs no matter what, at full speed. Calling your grandpa after so many months of little communication? These are all ways to save our world. Could you be as fantastical as these giant tycoons? You could spend your entire life focused on the kind of pursuits that these lovely individuals have done. You could be a great blessing to a large majority of the population with your big contribution. But will you? And, will it really ruin your life if you aren't the gigantic hero you dream of? Maybe just being a better than average citizen of the world, who's thoughtful and caring of those around them is enough. It's more than enough for most people, because, as you can see, we all simply need a little better than average from each other. We can save our world quite effectively and realistically, and that ambition will be just as important as the Andrew Carnegies of our time. As a child, she learned to: Kate was reared to be the perfect candidate for partnering with an addict.