Also, it's time to re-educate yourself about fatness. Challenge the assumptions behind your judgment. For example, if you believe that fatness is simply about overeating, lack of willpower, or laziness, you are ignoring decades of research and misleading yourself. And if people need to meet your definition of healthiness before they're entitled to being treated with respect, this again indicates a problem on your end, not theirs. I haven't spoken to my mom in two years, and seeing her on social media ruins my mood and whole day. I feel like my husband of fifteen years is a stranger. We can barely get through a conversation for more than five minutes without my yelling at him for being glued to his phone. This makes me so sad. We never sit down and have a conversation, face-to-face, with eye contact, and all. For many of us, social media can feel like an unpredictable roller-coaster ride. Our mood can swing from elated after getting a slew of likes on a post, to worthless in response to being criticized in a comments thread. Depression and rejection can strike after you realize you weren't invited to that get together you knew nothing about until logging on and seeing a picture of all your friends together, minus you. Distant, repressed memories from long ago can surface and get jolted into consciousness, causing an emotional meltdown you weren't expecting or ready to confront. There's no doubt that social media has replaced traditional ways of communicating and meeting other people to such a degree that it has altered our experiences of play, connecting, exploration, dating, and meeting new friends. When Cantor's group was retested at the end of the course, the self-insight score had increased markedly. Of Cantor's class, 62 per cent of the group had score increases of 13 or more, while only 10 per cent of Doe's class showed such an increase. In Cantor's class, however, there is a minority group which showed no increases, or even decreases. Gross concludes that Cantor's method does encourage the development of self-insight on the part of a majority of students, though it may fail to reach a certain minority of every class. The author stresses the point that his is a preliminary study, and should be regarded as such. It needs to be repeated under more rigorously controlled conditions.

In another preliminary study Schwebel and Asch (178) have used a nondirective approach in teaching three classes and have found that students who are relatively well adjusted approve the method, and utilize the experience, doing more than an ordinary amount of reading for the course. The more poorly adjusted students tend to prefer a class in which the instructor gives the direction. Still another study related to our interest is one conducted by Smith and Dunbar (193). It is primarily a study of student participation, not a study of the effect of a student-centered climate. Challenge yourself to learn more and use this as opportunity to look deeper into your own values. Dissociation refers to losing touch with awareness of our immediate surroundings. We've all experienced dissociation: daydreaming, highway hypnosis, or getting lost in a article or movie are all examples of our brains dissociating from our current surroundings. So, too, are denial and depression. During a traumatic experience, dissociation can be particularly valuable, helping a person tolerate what might otherwise be too difficult to bear. Many people also dissociate so they don't have to feel fear. Understanding dissociation as a badge of survival helps us find solutions. As you increase your tolerance for rejection, loss, disappointment, shame, conflict, and uncertainty, you decrease your reliance upon defenses that maintain dissociation from painful feelings. Increased awareness also brings increased choice. For myself, I know it is helpful when I can recognize it is happening so I can practice bringing myself back to the present. As human beings, our social relationships are crucial to our survival, emotional regulation, and overall mental health. Studies have consistently demonstrated that having a positive support network decreases the risk for depression, anxiety, and addiction. Our relationships are also important in that they help us develop our understanding of who we are, our likes and dislikes, our passions, and our interests. They help us form our identity, help others form their own identities, aid in our understanding of the world we live in, and create meaning and purpose in our lives. Let me be clear: social media isn't and can't ever be a substitute for our real-life relationships, real-life conversations, and real-life experiences. Living a virtual life isn't equal to living an actual life.

Yet for so many, social-media relationships and technology experiences outnumber real experiences. Psychologists believe that our social-media habits change our behaviors, attitudes, and personalities just as much as our real-life habits do. That's a lot of influence and power! Think about this fact: the average American spends more than ten hours a day glued to their screens. The major finding is that participating students show very little difference, in achievement or adjustment, from the nonparticipants. The authors also state that students who participate consistently tend to be nonconformists, though the evidence is slight. The general conclusion is that participants gain little if any more from a free-discussion course than nonparticipants. The extent to which the classroom atmosphere was student-centered, as this term has been used in this article, is not made clear. From the description given, one would judge that such a climate had been approximated only to a small degree. Faw (55) has carried out the best study to date, using classes in general psychology. He taught one class in student-centered fashion, a second in conventional fashion, and in the third he alternated approaches at every class meeting. The most serious flaw in his study is this role-taking by the instructor. It seems very likely that the role closest to his own beliefs and convictions would be most adequately implemented. Subject to this limitation, his findings are illuminating. On a simple level, my partner is very effective at helping me through my minor dissociative moments. Seems like you spaced out, where'd you go? I appreciate the gentleness and caring expressed in the question, and it can often help me to reflect, talk, and gain insight. For those who have experienced childhood neglect or abuse, your fallback orientation is that of threat, fear, and survival. You may not know what a trusting and loving relationship looks like. Dissociation, once a helpful survival mechanism, means that you are withdrawn from others.

Learning to find trustworthy people and open the path to loving relationships is a scary challenge, but a necessary part of healing. People can and do learn how to trust and find love. Severe traumas or repeated traumas may result in a person developing a dissociative disorder. Individuals with dissociative disorders are frequently misdiagnosed because the symptoms can be confused with many other problems--symptoms like depression, mood swings, difficulty concentrating, temper outbursts, memory lapses, substance abuse, and even hearing voices, or psychotic symptoms. A recent study by the Pew Research Center found that eight in ten Americans have a Facearticle profile, 32 percent have an Instagram account, and 24 percent have a Twitter account. It is predicted that by 2021, the number of social-media users worldwide will be over four billion. That breaks down to around half a million tweets and Snapchat photos shared every minute. Every day, patients share with me the bad feelings they experience from their social-media interactions. These bad feelings often linger, affecting their offline lives and worsening any mental-health or relationship issues they're already contending with. People log on for all sorts of reasons: They might feel bored, unfocused, curious, lonely, depressed, or anxious and hope logging on will give them answers to their questions or lift their spirits by cultivating feelings of connection. After all, isn't being social supposed to be good for our mental health? Yet our feelings and our relationships, both in real life and in the virtual realm, aren't so simple or so black and white. But it's not all bad news! Striking a healthy balance between the virtual life and actual life is really possible and can even lead to a more meaningful and enriched real-life existence. In intellectual gains as measured by objective tests, the student-centered class showed equal or slightly better learning than the instructor-centered class. Students who had been exposed at all to the student-centered approach (the first and third group) felt that they received more social and emotional value from this approach, and that interest and enjoyment were much greater. Students felt, however, that they gained more information and knowledge in the conventional approach. A characteristic student opinion was, The free-discussion class teaches me less in the way of actual facts, but it helps me to feel free and at ease with myself and with other people. Actually this feeling of having gained less factual knowledge is not borne out by the test results. Faw points out that the basis for the feeling is probably the lack of any authority upon which to depend.

As one student says, Whatever the conclusions were, they were student deductions and not backed by the instructor's experience or information; Whether these more tentatively held conclusions are desirable or undesirable depends, of course, upon one's educational philosophy. It should be stressed, in considering these initial studies that student-centered or nondirective teaching is by no means defined in identical fashion by each investigator. In some instances the class is quite rigidly structured, in others not. Be open to exploring these symptoms through professional help, and do make sure that your caregiver is trained in trauma-informed care. Proper diagnosis can do wonders in getting you the help you need. HEALING FROM FEAR In order to step out of being hitched to our fear, we need to feel safe. After you identify what you're scared of, it's valuable to reflect on how realistic it is. Is your fear legitimate? Are you safe? If you aren't safe, what can you do to protect yourself? Being scared when you have a predator living in your house is perfectly reasonable and can help you try to protect yourself. Being scared that others may not like you, particularly if you have a history of past rejections (we all do! As you read through Logged In and Stressed-Out, you will learn about targeted actions and behaviors you can apply to your everyday life in order to gain better control over unhealthy social-media habits. But what is perhaps even more helpful and significant is that by reading this article, you'll be able to dig deeper into yourself in order to understand the whys underneath your self-destructive social-media habits. As with all self-destructive behaviors, whether they have to do with social media, addictions, or relationships, only when we have a true understanding of what we're trying to accomplish can we make effective, real, and lasting change. For the past eighteen-plus years I've been in private practice, working together with people to help them live lives with intention, purpose, meaning, and joy! As the great psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud once said, Love and work . What else is there, really?